Posted May 10, 2013

Hi my name is Jana and im 16 years old. About six months ago I met this guy who started to come to my church. He became very close friends with my family, coming over several times a week and I started to care for him alot. He told us his testimony about how before he was saved he was drunk driving and the girl he was with actually died. About three months ago he went to prison to serve his sentence which is 4-6 years. I wrote him a few letters, and my dad wrote him asking if he would like to get to know me better. He said that he would like to remain friends, but he has continued to write me. I want to guard my heart, but im not exactly sure how. I know this doesnt seem like a big deal to most people, but I want to be extremely careful about guarding my heart. I guess my question is should I continue to write him as just friends?


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  1. kingsdaughter7

    Hi Jana! 🙂 I think every girl has been in your shoes. There is always a time in a girl’s life where she needs to guard her heart. But it’s great that you recognize it and face it head on.

    If you want to guard your heart, the best way to do so is not to give your heart away to him. Meaning, not to spend your time daydreaming, fantasizing, and thinking about him. Especially at this time, I would recommend learning to trust God, and giving your heart to Him. If you give your heart to the Lord and serve Him full-heartedly, boys won’t be the top priority and serving God will be. I know, it can be really hard at times, but it is so worth it! And if it so happens that you two pursue a relationship, He will always be there to ask for help. Strengthening your relationship with the Saviour should be the most important thing to think about right now.

    As for writing to him, I think as long as the letters are proper (no really personal stuff, how much you miss him, wishing you two could be together, etc.) I think it would be alright. If its clear that he isn’t ready to start a relationship, then continue to write to him as you would any other friend (or guy friend in that matter). Remember also, to NOT get grabby or impatient. Everything is in God’s timing and if it is the Lord’s will, He will make it happen when He knows you both are ready. You probably don’t feel that way now, but there may come a time which may be towards the end of his sentence where you will wonder if his feelings for you have strengthened. But no matter what, be PATIENT!! 🙂 🙂 The act of being patient doesn’t necessarily gain anything, but the act of being impatient could lose everything!! Good luck!! 🙂

    # August 5, 2013

    • godsgirl - the author of this post.

      Thank you Kingsdaughter7 your response was very encouraging and uplifting! 🙂

      # October 11, 2013

  2. argirl

    I’m going through the same thing as you are. There is a guy at my Church that I’ve known for a few years. Him and my brother are really great friends so I see him a lot.
    He is a great guy and really focused on God. And he’s cute too. (; My problem is that I am only 15. I’m not ready to give my heart to any guy yet, so any help will be appreciated! How do I focus on God and not the guy?
    Please! I need your help!

    # August 6, 2013

  3. godsgirl - the author of this post.

    argirl, the best advice I can give to you is to “Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6 Also Matt 6:33 “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.” Be patient and trust God. He knows what we need and when we need it. Matt 6:26-27 “Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?” God WILL take care of our needs. Have faith in Him! Hope this helped some! God bless! 🙂

    # October 11, 2013