Posted February 28, 2014

Hi!  I’ll try to word this so it makes sense.

I have been friends with this one guy since we were really little, and I think we always liked each other. We told each other once when we were little that we liked each other, but we never held hands or hugged or anything-just focused on being friends. Now that we are older (we are both almost 17), getting closer towards the age where people start getting more serious, it’s a little bit different now. I think he is starting to like me in a more serious way, and not just a crush. We no longer live near each other anymore, so we don’t really communicate much. 

The only problem is…since we’ve been apart (almost a year now), I have realized that I don’t really like him anymore. Now I just think of him more as a brother. He is a really steady man, and I’m sort of a mix between a dreamer and a go-to gal.  He is more of a careful guy, and likes to take life slowly, and is content with just staying put. I have come to realize that I would never really be content living that type of lifestyle, and might even find it difficult to submit to him in some ways. I haven’t seen him for almost a year now, so I haven’t really been able to talk to him. I’m really good friends with his sister, and she is aware of the fact that I don’t like him anymore, but I’m not sure how to tell him. I know it would probably rock his world a little bit, but I also do not want to be unintentionally leading him on. He is also currently saving up to come visit me in the future.

Does anyone have any advice for me? I feel really bad about the whole thing, and I’ve talked to my parents and friends, and they aren’t exactly sure what to do about it either.


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  1. Shalom (Staff)

    Steady guys always like GO-to-Girls it seems. They like the confidence that a go-to-girl has. Go-to-girls need steady guys to help them learn to be more balanced and more compassionate to others as well. But a strong Go-to-girl needs to marry a strong Steady man, one that is steady with a lot of commanded as well. This is just my two sense!
    Now to answer your question. Can you write him a letter? Ask your dad and mom what they think about that. Be nice, talk about how fun it was growing up with him and being his friend, but that you wanted him to know that that is all that is is friendship. Send it in the mail, not a text or email it is more important when sent in the mail. Let your parents read it to make sure you are clear and not leaving anything open or that it does not sound to mean. Hopes this gives you some ideas, Shalom

    # March 4, 2014

  2. raggedycottagegarden

    If you do not have the heart to be with a certain man I would not pressure one’s self to like that man.

    # March 18, 2014

  3. thankfulwifey

    This might sound like a cop out to some…but could his sister do it for you or help you? You could even have her edit the letter.
    Good you are thinking this way, you might feel bad if he spent a ton of money to visit. Although, you can’t feel too bad, young love is complicated and confusing.

    # March 24, 2014