Hi, i’m 17 and really like a nice christin guy (he is 20). But when I was 9 something terrible happed to me. I was a goody-good girl and my friend (who I never really like) thought because I was nice to her I like her in a loving kinda way. I didnt know anything. I felt it was wrong but she was a pasters daughter so I thought she right I’m wrong. She would use God’s word and would tell me look its right its in the bible. I told my mom but she didnt believe me. finally I told her I wasnt doing it anymore. and she left me alone for 3 months or so but she told her dad and BOY was he MAD…. at ME :/ he sat down and talk to us saying it was my falt and blaming me. I cried the whole time. I was 12. the thing is he told me this is wrong with GIRLS. true but when i was 12-13 its was not right for me and a guy to do this ether.
A young boy started to show intrest in me i thought this was okay when I was 14-15 I knew it was wrong. I was seeing that God tells us that are heart is wicked and he was telling me to lissen to my heart. I trusted God. stated reading Preparing to be a help meet. Thank God!!!
Some night I cry all night long because I wonder will anyone ever marry me? Can he for give me? How do I tell him? I not pure. Im not whole. if i ever get married and have kids I know it will be hard for me to trust any of there friends. My main ? is how do I tell him? should he know at all? should I tell him when he asks to court me or wait a while?
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Being a good help meet starts long before marriage. It is a mindset, a learned habit, a way of life established as a young unmarried girl—or at least that’s the way it should be. Nearly every wife will confess that the first year or two of married life was—how shall I say it—a frustrating learning experience.
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Hi!
First of all, let me tell you a verse:
“So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Matthew 6:34
Do you know what I mean? You are very young; and he hasn´t asked you nothing yet, right?
I know exactly how you feel; my life before Christ was horrible, and the worse thing was that I knew I was wrong. You were a confused girl, and the Lord knows that.
“See, we did not know this,” Does He not consider it who weighs the hearts?” Proverbs 24:12
So, let God take care of that situation, pray every day that He may give you a merciful husband who is able to forgive you. And the Lord is going to lead you when the time to confess arrives.
Now, fix your eyes upon Jesus, He wants to bless you and wants you to know Him and to find forgiveness and everything in Him.
In Christ,
Allie
What happened to you when you were 9 sounds like you were the victim and she was the one at fault. You made a mistake with that boy and you are repentant. You need to forgive yourself and leave what happened in the past in the past (you sound like you are still healing). You do not need someone else’s forgiveness when you didn’t do anything to directly hurt them. The only one you need forgiveness from is God. I woundn’t tell someone I first start to date something that personal (about what happened with the girl), I probably would never tell them (I may if it was brought up); people’s opinons will differ though. Now what happened with the boy, I would at least tell him that I was not pure (at somepoint in time) and not get into the details. Lastly, don’t worry about not getting married because of your past. I don’t remember the Bible verse, but it goes something like: ” your sins are cast into the utter most parts of the sea”; so if God can forgive you like that, then your husband shouldn’t be troubled by your past. If a man can’t get over it, then you need to move on.
I actuallly change my mind on what I said about not telling him, he should know about your past. My mom said that could cause major problems in your marriage.
First I want you to know that its not your fault what happened to you. I am 31 years old and when i was 8-12 had something like that happen too. it was an older boy. God has shown me since that when i decided to except Jesus in my heart and got baptized that i am a new person and as such i am again pure, and so are you. You are pure, wash in the blood of Jesus Christ and God has someone who will love you and understand the things that happen in your life, and will except you for who you are. and one day you can be the one helping someone understand that shes not to blame and that shes loved by Jesus and that shes pure and holy and exceptable threw the blood of Jesus, just like i am telling you. You are pure and Holy!!!
As far as telling him, i would wait until hes courting you and has decided to marry you. and then i would pray that God gives you the words and him the heart to understand, and if hes who God wants you to marry, he will.
I will be praying for you.
Well first of all you may as well tell him right away, because if he doesn’t forgive you he obviously doesn’t deserve you. God forgave you, and so should everyone else. However you may decide to wait awhile…I wouldn’t wait too long before I told him though! Ask your parents for advice and pray about it every time you think about it. <3
First of all, God loves you. You need to believe that.You are a very nice girl.Brave. Need to face to face. God is always with you.
I would definately tell him at some point, probably at the point when he wants to court you, as you said. If he truly has God, he will forgive you. If he does not, don’t feel bad. He is not Christ-like at all. This man should understand that you were young and naive. I am so sorry you had such an awful experience. I know I cannot fully relate because I have never had this kind of experience, but from other people I know who have had messed up pasts, they still struggle with guilt and insecurity. Please just remember that God has forgiven you. I promise I will pray.
My heart breaks for you. But just know there is grace and healing from abuse and sin in our lives. I believe that who ever you marry before you get married either before engagement or early in the engagement you should tell him. Its important to have a relationship built on honesty and trust. when it comes time really pray and trust the holy spirit to let you know the right time to share your past. you dont have to be supper detailed but your man needs to know. I had my own baggage I had to share with my boyfriend and his grace was amazing. if the man your courting can not show you the grace and love of christ he is not good enough. May christ’s love and peace cover you.
But WAIT did this guy you like tell you he liked you?? If NOT tell him NOTHING until he wants more than a friendship with you. Don’t tell him your past unless you are in a courtship/dating relationship.
And DON’T feel guilty! You’re innocent God will judge her and you must rely on him for your ‘self’ love. He loves and forgives you and as a Christian we love the things God loves, so forgive yourself because he loves/forgives you!