Posted January 9, 2013

A very long story short, I was introduced to a Christian guy a few months ago. We saw each other a couple of times at get-togethers with friends, and I’m still in that stage of ‘could be interested but being very cautious’ (I was in a serious relationship that ended in February, and don’t want to ride that merry-go-round again). My mom thinks the guy is totally smitten because he teases me, makes outlandish compliments, and talks business ideas with me. (He’s something of a visionary, that much I can tell already.) I still don’t know exactly what to do about it, aside from deflect the more ridiculous compliments and keep things somewhat impersonal. He’s started calling ‘just to chat’  occasionally as well.

I still have no idea if he’s even someone I would want to consider for a variety of reasons (some of which have to do with myself and the previous failed relationship, and some that have to do with his more quirky personality traits). I don’t want to lead the guy on, but I don’t want to give him the smackdown either simply because I don’t know him.


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  1. musick87

    Hi! When I read your question I wanted to respond because I was in your shoes at the beginning of last February. I met a missionsary thru my church and we emailed some because I was interested in the ministry he was involved with. Long story short he began dropping hints that he was interested in getting to know me as a person. It was something I knew was a possibility and so I began to bathe it in prayer and place it everyday in God’s hands. It’s awesome that your parents are observant and with you in this decision. I shared with my parents what was going on and asked them to pray and I also called a Godly older couple in my life and shared with her and asked them to pray. My last relationship I was in was also somewhat of a merry-go-round and I didn’t want to go thru that again. I was cautious and kept conversations with him very gerneral but at the same time asked many questions. I spent loads of time in prayer because I believed that God would direct both me and him if I were actively seeking and willing to obey Him. God did answer my prayers and led me into the most wonderful friendship which has developed into a loving relationship and has blessed my life. I would encourage you to just constantly bathe it in prayer and give it to God because He knows us better than anyone else and He deisres what is best for us. Live everyday for Christ and with His desire and will in mind and He will give you peace and clear direction without any confusion. God is not the author of confusion and He will give you a clear answer. Live everyday for Him and He will lead you in His path. I will be praying for you-

    # January 12, 2013

  2. beth

    I was in your exact situation for over a year. For me it turned out that he was not someone I would want to marry. I just did my best to be very open toward him. I would talk whenever he wanted to and ask lots of questions to try to find out what his thoughts were on various issues. I was friendly and polite, but I made sure to never flirt or encourage him in a romantic way. Just trying to get to know a friend the best I could. I was also very careful to protect my heart and not get involved emotional.
    It turned out after a year of letters and conversations that I decided that I did not want to pursue it further. And I was able to walk away with my emotions in tact.
    I hope this helps- remember, lots of prayer is key.

    # March 1, 2013