Question

Posted May 24, 2013

Okay, ladies! Is it ever right to show a guy (who is eligibly single, of course!) that you admire him? If so, when is it permissible and what is an appropriate way to do this?

 

Answers

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  1. kitkat

    Are you talking about a situation where you respect his character and appreciate his personality as a Christian brother or do you, ahem *admire* him (as in: potential husband)? 🙂

    # June 5, 2013

    • blackwhitedenim

      Haha! Yeah it’s one thing to admire his skills in a certain area (“Wow! I wish I were that good at playing piano!” or “Thanks so much for lifting that heavy object for me!”) and another to just look at him all googly-eyed and think what a great husband he would be for you. Not saying it’s wrong to think that of course… just to outwardly display it in a silly manner.

      As for letting him know you like him romantically… well, yeah I think there is a time and a place for it. And a certain way to do it. I can think of a lot of ways NOT to do it. I wonder if there are any success stories out there? I think it would have to be quite obvious, but not scary or threatening. Maybe try being humorous? I think I’ve shared my story on here before- I left my notebook with some *ahem* private thoughts in it at his house and he read it. I can’t really take credit for that though, because it wasn’t intentional. Plus it was kind of embarrassing.

      Good luck. Pray and pray some more- in time God will show what His will is.

      # June 7, 2013

  2. akiteinthesky

    before I started dating my now Fiance. I liked him before he liked me. I just became is friend I would invite him to thing not like dates but group hang outs. I would encourage him. He knew I liked him alot, eventually He decided he liked me to. I think if you admire in a subtle way then it lets the guy know he is appreciated and is a way of letting a guy know you interested. Be careful if you are not interested in them not to lead them on. Guys have hearts. Nice complements. Maybe not I think your muscles are nice. But Good job on you test. or I really liked the way you shared the gospel with that person. let them know the good qualities you see.

    # June 13, 2013

  3. elisabeth

    I think you should be careful for sure…. It can really turn guys off if done in the wrong way. Like, you don’t want them to sit around with their buddies laughing about how obvious you are :-p

    I think that it is definitely right to show a guy you respect him… Never talk down his opinion, don’t mock him, listen carefully when he is talking, etc etc. That is common sense of course 🙂 But as to showing admiration, I think you should be careful in what way you do.

    I admired my guy long before I knew that he loved me too (we’ve been married for 3 years now 🙂 ) but I was always super careful not to show much. I didn’t know he was praying about me that whole time 🙂 You know, I am so glad that the first step wasn’t mine. It’s is just great knowing that HE initiated everything!! He was the kind of guy that was super focused on the ministry we were in and not hanging out with the girls a lot. So I didn’t want to distract him and stuff. But that doesn’t mean I just sat there with my eyes to the ground waiting. I was super involved in the ministry myself, so we had a lot of stuff in common. And when he did talk to me, I made sure to listen and show him I totally respected his opinions. So, whenever he took a step forwards, I was RIGHT there 🙂 haha.

    I just wanted to say, it’s easy when you’re just worrying about the future, will he EVER notice me, maybe I should DO something, etc…. to make mistakes & have regrets. So, just be careful. Love is a wonderful thing… you can’t really make a list of rules and say THIS is how it works. Some things work for some people, other things for others. Walk with God, is the bottom line of it! 🙂

    # June 14, 2013

  4. heidimm5799

    AGREED!! Whatever you do don’t be flirtatious! I’ve seen young ladies approach a guy like this, that they like, but the guy doesn’t find it that meaningful, if you will…:)

    # November 5, 2013

  5. happykoalakatie

    It might also depend a little on the type of guy he is. A Steady guy will definitely like a little attention and may even need it as encouragement to pursue you (personal experience) 😉

    # November 18, 2013

  6. Shalom (Staff)

    Yes!
    Definitely there is a right way to show a guy you like him, without being flirty or a grabber.
    A steady friend of mine knew that this one radical visionary guy was a really good one. She just happened to end up going caving with him and a group of other young people, and less than two months later they were courting. What did she do? With a cheerful, not pushy attitude, she asked him questions about his life growing up, how he got saved, and other questions that were harmless, but showed a little hint of interest in him. She also kinda hung around his part of the group as they went through the cave. He told her later that he wouldn’t have checked her out if she hadn’t been sweet and innocently visited with him. It made him think that she MIGHT like him. If she hadn’t been interesting to him, they would have had no regrets, and nothing would have ever come of it, but he was and so was she… so he pursued and they are most likely going to be married sometime in the next few months!!!!!! Go for it girls!! 😉

    # February 11, 2014