Okay I am not courting or even dating this guy. We just met and we’ve publicly written back and forth on a website. It wasn’t everyday for two months, but off and on and now it seems its getting a bit deeper (not really thought). I like the guy still but I don’t know him much and I don’t really like any long distance ‘getting to know you’ rather someone show up and meet me then we could write letters or something, I don’t like the online thing, its more private. I told him it was a bit too much for me, and I rather prefer in person and I fear I’ve scared him off, as Debi warned (also he’s not the only guy I know).
I wanted to know you girl’s opinion. I am rather conservative but I’ve recently learned (from Shoshanna, at the Shindig) its not a sin to talk to a guy and neither he, nor I have done anything wrong in my opinion and I’ve talked with my parents of it. And they agree a break would be good.
But he’s just a friend. Have I scared him, letting him think that I thought we were ‘courting’ or something?
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Faith,
I probably would have just tried to back off the contact without actually saying anything. Just stall a day or two between “replies” and always keep yours on a “shallow” level. Nothing too personal.
Have you ever met in person?
I don’t mean to sound weird, but is this person from the GospelGrass festivals? (We never met, but you and I have a couple mutual friends from Elise’s and Bishop families. :)) We went to GG back 2004- 2008 and still keep up with a lot of the folks.
Back to your question…. if your folks think a break would be good- definitely do it. Or, depending on what you Dad thinks, have him contact this young man with a fatherly :”provide an intent or back off” kind of thing.
I have no idea if you scared him. I know I get worried sometimes if I scared a guy off accidentally. I have to remember that if he is that easily scared off, we probably couldn’t have worked out anyway. If he thinks you are worth it, he will probably be back, so I wouldn’t sweat it. (And you don’t want him if he doesn’t think you are worth a little work.)
I can definitely say- if you felt he was pushing you too much, than it was time for somebody to tell him to back off.
Please keep us updated.
In Christ,
Beth
Hi! 🙂
Have you ever read “Before You Meet Prince Charming”?
I like a part where the mother of the princess tells he that it is not her responsability to get a long with certain guy. Our responsability is to watch over our hearts with all diligence!!!
Maybe your parents are looking deeper and they want to protect you, they are trying to protect your heart, and the wisest thing you can make is to obey them; a break would be would. And during this break seek the Lord with all your heart, delight in Him, cast all your anxiety on Him, because he cares for you! (1 Peter 5:7).
You said that you like this guy, and you said that he is just a friend; and you also said that you don´t like the online thing; so obviously you don´t have peace because something is wrong here. But the Lord can work out every detail, just pray for him and for you, ask the Lord to give this guy the right perspective, and if he is worth it, he is going to respect the decision of a godly girl who wants to obey the Lord, her parents and guard her heart.
God bless!
Great advice girls!! Thanks allot. Hi Beth, I don’t know if your the same Beth on HSA whom I met (in a game never a word :P) at NGJ Shindig. That’s neat we know the same people too, and no this isn’t a guy from GG. But our families (this young man’s and mine) have met each other in person.
But I am totally at peace. Also I know many guys like this at this time… scary (some) yet exciting. I am also, as you advised Allie, seeking God and delighting in him.
You know the other day I was ‘worried’ and confused and I cried out to God, “Which one??” And he told me with just a sweet simple thought:
“Look to me and I’ll be ‘THE ONE’ for you now and worry about loving me and then I’ll surprise you with Mr. Special!”
I am so thankful he’s taking the time to really teach me this and I KNOW I NEED this lesson very much 🙂 He and I are becoming such special friends and its the BEST friendship I’ll ever have!!
Faith,
No, I am not on the HSA website. 🙁
I was also not at the Shindig thought it looked like it was tons of fun.
I completely understand the desire to know whom the right guy is and feeling like I don’t have any answers. I think it is worse than not having any options.
Something I have done is I have put a few fleeces (Gideon) before the Lord “Show me whom the right guy is by….” There are a couple things that I have listed including something that only one guy will be able to do as well as him having a heart for the same type of ministry that I want to have. BUT, I HAVEN’T TOLD ANYONE WHAT THEY ARE. A few people know the gist of my request (like my Mom) but I don’ want a guy to be able to figure it out and fake me into thinking he is whom I prayed for.
I don’t know if this will work out in the long run, but I hope it will. Something I have asked the Lord to do is to show me, my parents, the right guy, and his advisers what his will is- in HIS timing.
I have to say- I never would have looked forward to this time in life had I known how hard it would be. I hope my ramblings are an encouragement to you.
In Christ,
Beth
PS, I just remembered- I was also in a band scramble at GG with Stephen Knotts back in 2008. Too bad we have never met in person considering how many mutual friends we have. 🙂
Well this guy isn’t on the HSA much and I keep in contact with his sister a little.
I’ve been in this sort of situation before, only I wasn’t wanting to ‘correspond’ with the guy. It will turn him off if you tell him you want to meet first… but the guy I was ‘chatting’ with tried to pick up our ‘friendship’ again so there maybe a chance for you he’ll turn again. I think the guy I was talking with was a ‘king’ (command man); it probably makes a difference what kind of guy he is.
My advice is – just don’t ‘exclude’ your parents. Let them be knowledgeable of everything that goes on. I think it is safest that way. And, most importantly, seek God’s will… and pray that you won’t be deceived.