Posted August 3, 2012

My husband and I have 4 children ages9,6,4, and 8 months. My husband doesn’t want more children right now stating both income and my health as reasons. However, we don’t want to use birth control and I am trying to use NFP, but a bit lost. I started my period after 4 months of breastfeeding. Then after 2 cycles, no period. It has been over 52 days and a pregnancy test came back negative. I am breastfeeding quite frequently, so I think that is why no period, but that means I could ovulate at any time. I feel like I am failing my husband, I don’t know what to do, I want to please him, but can’t get pregnant right now. I have tried to be inventive, but I know he needs sex. Help.


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  1. anne

    nursing a baby frequently can keep cycles away but since you had a bleed at 4 months, and you have a serious reason to avoid pregnancy, be looking for a mucus patch that is associated w/temperatures that are lowering and steady [USUALLY this will be indicating a time that is fertile + abstaining is needed}. Symptothermal method of charting with temperatures + mucus observations + even cervical checks will be the most effective, along with abstaining to avoid a pregnancy. NFP:The Complete Approach is an online book that discusses charting w/a good section on ‘ecological breastfeeding’, too. Maybe the authors at can tell you if there is an instructor near you to help you w/a class or sometimes a Catholic diocese office can tell you about a symptothermal NFP teacher. Happy mothering!

    # August 9, 2012

  2. Serafina

    Debi mentions a website in the Preparing book that “has godly advice;”

    # August 17, 2012

  3. liera

    Maybe, he could get sterilized, or you could if you do not want any more children. This surgery is not like taking harmful birth control, and is super reliable. =)

    # December 19, 2012

  4. liera

    Sterilization does surely have risks, but is not as bad as hormonal birth control, is what I meant. I also meant to give the advice if your husband is saying he wants a form of control other than a natural method. My husband would not want to wait 100hours of my fertile cycle to not have sex, and if your husband is already the kind of guy who is on the edge of the marriage, I would explore your options that keep your marriage. wants to sell you the book to explain the method the site advises, and I think is a little vague, and at some points misleading. They do not give your the percentages of risks involved with methods. The site also portrays condoms as not effective for stopping sexually transmitted diseases, but natural birth planning offers zero protection against stds, bad case on their part. Also, the .2% divorce rate offered because the natural planning method, is misleading. I am sure the natural planning method does not cause a low birthrate, I am sure the actions of people submitting in love to God and each other does affect the divorce rate, not the method of control. Obey your husband. Plus, I have had plenty of super awesome sex with condoms, if he is not opposed to wearing one. You can also pleasure quite a bit before actual sex, to make the condom wearing experience less of a bad cliche. If you do go the condom route, some men are hesitant because they feel it is not as good for the woman, just give him a good show, and make him know you are just as pleased.

    # December 19, 2012

  5. liera

    Shucks, correction, “The natural planning method does not cause a low divorce rate. I am sure, the action of the people submitting to God and each other does affect the divorce rates, not the method of birth control.”

    # December 19, 2012