Question

Posted February 5, 2013

I have read the Preparing book and know that it warns of the dangers of online/texting relationships, which I totally agree with, having seen a good friend suffer greatly in that kind of relationship. However, I know the book also speaks of couples who got to know one another before actually meeting in person and how this was blessed by God. I am 24 years old, and after seeking the advice of my parents and many other godly people, as well as much prayer, I joined an online dating site earlier this month. I knew that I did NOT want to do online dating – I was hoping it might be a place to MEET a guy and then get to know him in other ways, since I had yet to meet any potential husbands anywhere else in my circles.  I decided to wait for a guy to email me first, which happened a few days after I went online. I asked right away if we could email each other instead of instant messaging, which he readily agreed to. I also asked if we could keep our emails to one or two a day. We have been emailing at that rate for almost a week now. I’ve been asking him a lot of questions and trying to keep things friendly but not too personal, and so far I think we both feel that we would like to go further in getting to know each other. He lives about 45 min. away from me.  The plan I had in mind was to begin talking to each other on the phone verses just emailing, because you can learn more about a person through hearing their voice, and then to meet in person. However, is it forward of me to suggest that we talk on the phone – should I wait to see if he suggests it? I would really like to get away from this only being an email relationship before things get (too) emotional, because of course, this guy could be making up everything he’s saying. And then, how do we meet? I don’t want to go meet a total stranger by myself, but having my whole family around the whole time seems pretty pressured and awkward, especially since we’re older…has anyone been down this road? Any ideas? I’ve been praying contently and giving all of this to God – I want to be wise and follow His leading!

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  1. 1butterflykisses

    I am not sure who should mention when to call first, but I would suggest you both bring one or two of your friends so you are not alone.

    # February 10, 2013

  2. Allie

    Well, let me ask you something: “Is anything too difficult for the LORD?” (Gen. 18:14)
    Let me tell you that “The things that are impossible with people are possible with God.” (Luke 18:27)

    We are girls, we want to get married someday and to be wise and godly wives and mothers.
    We were created to be help meets 
    But I heard someone say, or maybe I read it… that if you think you need a husband, you´re not ready for marriage. I think it´s true.
    If we´re not complete as single women through Christ, it will be very difficult for us to feel completely satisfied when we are married.

    Lots of times I’ve asked for a husband. And the Lord has lead me to examine my heart and my purposes: “You ask and do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, so that you may spend it on your pleasures.” (Jas. 4:3).
    Lots of times I´ve prayed and lots of times the Lord has shown me that I have been selfish. I want a husband, I want children, I want a wedding and a beautiful dress, I, I, I. Everything for my own pleasure, maybe because I think I need it. But, the Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want…. He knows what we all need and He is going to give it to us at His perfect time. We don´t have to find human ways to get what we think we need. He is the Creator of everything and He can move the skies and stars to give you and me a husband.

    The Lord has been teaching me through this year that He is the most wonderful person I could ever be with. No one is going to love me as He does, and I’m learning to delight in Him. It’s difficult, especially with the entire world around you and Satan trying to distract us, but He is faithful and wants us to know that at His presence is fullness of joy; and in His right hand there are pleasures forever. (Psalm 16:11).
    And also God has been opening many doors for me to serve Him and to proclaim Jesus Christ, I´m translating and leading a young girls study, we´re going to villages to share the gospel every week, and I´m learning to play the piano. He has been helping me to seek His own Kingdom and I encourage you to do it, and He is going to add what we need, when we truly need it.

    I’ll be 24 in August, I only know one godly single man who is old enough to get married, and I´m almost sure that he is going to propose one of my best friends this year haha. And I know an amazing guy, but he is 6 years younger than me. But there is nothing impossible for our God, he can bring him from I don’t know where, and I don´t know when, but I know that it is going to be amazing, cuz it is going to be a love story written by God, not by me and my poor and human ideas and wishes.

    Trust Him, ask you to give you the opportunity to serve Him and to give you peace.

    Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the LORD, the Creator of the ends of the earth Does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable.
    Isaiah 40:28

    May the God richly bless you as you seek His good and perfect will

    # February 14, 2013

  3. elisabeth04 - the author of this post.

    Thanks! He actually mentioned calling, so that worked out. And I did take family with me to meet him. I’m just moving forward one step at a time, asking God for wisdom all the way, and He is answering!

    # February 16, 2013