Posted February 5, 2013

After working with this one guy for about 6 months, he asked if I wanted to go out with him. I don’t date, so I said no. (that day at work was SOOOOO tense!) I told my parents about what happened and they encouraged me to look at my heart and see if I had been leading him on. I had been because I liked him. I wasn’t thinking and was being selfish. He is a Christian, but he is 3 years younger (17) then me. I’m pretty embarrassed because I never thought I would fall like that, but I did. I wasn’t paying attention but have come away a little wiser.

So my question is, how do I still be friends with him? I mean, I know he still likes me and I like him, but I’m having trouble putting aside my feelings and just focusing on my work. It’s not overpowering or anything, but we can’t talk to each other for long periods of time or really look each other in the eye. Several guys have shown interest in me, but I haven’t ever run into this. I’m talking with my parents a lot about this and have no secrets.


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  1. beth


    You have my sympathies. I have had to deal with friends taking it too far and it is no fun. I also was guilty of leading them on. I had thought that they would be someone I could marry and I got sloppy in how I treated them. Oh, how I regret that!

    But once the damage was done, I handled it pretty much the same way you have been. My friend became quite pushy and started to push me in my standard and try to get as close physically as he could. My method for handling it was three fold:

    (1) Never actually acknowledging that I knew what he was doing.

    (2) Keeping LOTS of distance between us. At the time we were living in the same house (we were “camp” for a bunch of of friends who were hunting). I would try to be in a different room from him, and if we had to be in the same room, someone was always with us. Keeping barriers like a table between us (he likes to lean over my shoulder or sneak hugs and such).

    (3) Not interacting verbally unless absolutely mandatory ie: “Please pass the butter.” A friend actually suggest I don’t talk with him it all, but that is a little hard when you are living in the same house and he is outgoing.

    I hope this helps. Something that I have found that helps is just asking God to give me wisdom when I don’t know how to treat someone. (James 1)


    # February 28, 2013