Question

Posted March 28, 2011

Hi again, well lets move on to chapter four. This week we will be talking about the Priestly type man and how we should respond to them . How many of you have Priest fathers or husbands? A Priestly type man as you will read in the Book is easygoing, not given to extremes, like the prophet type. They do not make snap decisions or try to tell others what to do. They avoid controversy. They tend to want to help others and are very giving. I had my grandfather move in with me and my family a few weeks ago, he is a Priestly type. He does not remember me or whats going on half the time but he still wants to serve me and help. Tonight as I was washing up the dishes he came over and told me “I want you to know that I appreciate you and if their is anything I can do for you, you let me know.” I have found that the more I keep him busy doing little things like opening the door for me he is happier. Priestly types will not tell you straight out to do this or that, they will ask you to do it, if you want to. But it is still just as much a command as when a king says “do this right now.” For if you do not listen to the priestly types {if you want to do this for me} they will feel dishonored and you will not gain their trust in you. Proverbs 31:11-12 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. The chapter goes on to talk about a hard working women that is out their serving others. A priestly type man does not want to have a wife that is sitting around wasting her time. So this week we are going to be studding the word idleness and shamefacedness. For those of you with fathers that are the Priest type, what can you tell us about them and how you respond to them? When we did this chapter with my home bible study group one of the girls with a Priest father said that she had to learned to be patient and wait for him to make decisions. Look up in the Bible and tell us what it has to say about these two words and give us your own definition of each word. Have fun learning! shalom

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  1. Shalom (Staff) - posted the original question.

    Ice Breaker: What idle thing do you do more than one time a week? Examples: Excessive reading, standing in front of the mirror, eating sitting at the computer, chating/gossiping with friends, excessive exercise, or texting. One of the girls at my study said, sleeping.

    # March 28, 2011

    • Caralee

      Okay…honestly, my problem is …not managing my time on the computer (for various reasons: emailing, researching homeschooling, baking, cooking, writing too long of posts etc). So I trying to control this, hence why I was not on the last few days.

      # April 5, 2011

  2. Shalom (Staff) - posted the original question.

    I would have to say, watching a netflix discovery show with my husband before bed. But then I am with my husband so that is a good thing.

    # March 28, 2011

  3. swifttohear

    I daydream about how to decorate our new home, what furniture to take, what to give away, where to put it, what new things we need, etc… Very time-consuming, and rather unproductive! It makes me think of James 4:14, “Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.”

    # March 29, 2011

    • Shalom (Staff) - posted the original question.

      I am so doing this right now, daydreaming. We are adding on to our home to make more room for my Grandfather, and the new room is going to be mine and I can not stop thinking about floor, wall color etc. etc.

      # April 2, 2011

      • Caralee

        I think it is alright to dream about these things. We are home makers. We just need to keep it in balance in regards to money spent, amount of time and effort we put into it etc – all the while keeping our responsibilities going.

        Last November, my hubby gave me the go ahead to spend money! Hurray! Seriously though, we decided to get new baseboards and casing for our doors and windows on our top floor, and for our living room/dining room/kitchen, we got some new furniture and curtains. It was sooo much fun! But then it causes a person to see all the “yuck” that is left in the house that needs to be changed. It really is a never ending thing isn’t it if you don’t learn to be content? Ha!Ha!

        # April 5, 2011

  4. Bethany

    Facebook stalking. I do waaaay too much of that.

    # March 29, 2011

    • Shalom (Staff) - posted the original question.

      Girls beware of facebooking, Husbands and future husbands will see it as a waste of time and everything you put out there is going to be with you for life so be {chaste} with it.

      # April 2, 2011

      • Caralee

        Shalom you are so right. My husband cannot fathom why people would share sooo much personal information and opinions on that site.

        But the concern is that the youth of today don’t really discern the foolishness and danger on that site, so many of them think it is cool.

        # April 5, 2011

  5. Laura

    Reading would definitely be mine.

    # March 29, 2011

    • Shalom (Staff) - posted the original question.

      I read a lot when I was young so I went on a one year fast from reading nothing but the Bible or related books. I still love reading, just don’t have the time, oh well.

      # April 2, 2011

  6. Hope

    Way to much time on line! I try to only go onto things that are edifying and godly but it’s still to much time on here and less in God’s Word and prayer.

    # March 29, 2011

  7. Faith Grubb

    I agree with Bethany. I also spend too much time getting everything ‘just right’ in front of the mirror!

    # March 29, 2011

    • Shalom (Staff) - posted the original question.

      I am sure my husband would like me to spend more time at the mirror, I am not good at making time for me, I am working on it though.

      # April 2, 2011

  8. Lexi

    Ah, I tend to read just about anything that has been recommended to me. Whether it is educational, thus could have potential value in my life on a day to day basis, or not so educational. Often I could be prioritizing my time better.

    # March 29, 2011

  9. Bekah

    Ooohhh…OUCH!!! Shalom, did you HAVE to choose that one?!?! I am 18 and waste WAY too much time, but am working on setting limits. The thing I waste the most time doing is probably…watching movies or reading…I guess it depends a lot of the movie and book, but still could be described as a waste of time.

    What I am discovering is that I need to set boundries~ I only get to watch a movie after I’ve done other more important things, etc. That helps a lot. And it’s sorta motivation to sit down and get your work done in really good time. 🙂

    # March 31, 2011

  10. Bekah

    Oh and I have a Priestly Father! 🙂 He is a good man…but can get very annoying…these types of men usually don’t like to create waves, even when they should, which can drive a go-to-gal nuts! 😉

    However, having such a steady, balanced man can be a real blessing as he keeps a go-to-gal from doing extreme and irrational things…

    An important trait to have when living with a Priest is to be patient and to be understanding. He has feelings too…just isn’t as quick to voice them as the Prophet or King might be!

    # March 31, 2011

    • Faith Grubb

      Well you’re Go-to-gal too!! I was in your shoes a year ago (wasting a ton on movies, book and/or writing!- still there some). Stick to Him and you’ll pull through 🙂

      # April 1, 2011

    • Shalom (Staff) - posted the original question.

      You are right Bekah they do not like to share their feelings, but I think that could go with all three types of guys, if we do not as wives and daughters give them the respect they want. It is great that you get to be learning how to be quiet and have patience right now while you are still at home. I am sure your hubby-to-be will be happy you did.

      # April 2, 2011

  11. Kait

    Daydreaming!

    # March 31, 2011

  12. Faith Grubb

    My Daddy’s a Steady ‘Priest’ man. I sometimes

    I have learned from my mother that if I married a Steady man I would have to learn allot of patience. I have already, being a Steady’s daughter but not as much as I would need to be a wife of such (my brother also is one and my other brother a Visionary/Command man).

    My Daddy does that. He only ask everyone to do this or that and then it upsets him and he gets angry sometimes you wonder ‘what set him off?’ then you remember that he asked someone to do something and they took it only as a suggestion.

    Also as a Steady man’s daughter I have to learn that he still is the head and that I can’t over run him just because he’s quiet and likes to tell you his answer next week not today. For me that’s hard and challenging (I’m a Go-to-gal, so is my Mama). She is the greatest role model and is so like Miss Virtuous woman (Pvb. 31). She manages Daddy’s (and our) family band and assigns (like any store or business manager) different little tasks to us children. She also has purchased some hogs and is raising them with my brothers and is now searching for a buyer.

    So my point: As a future wife of a Steady man learn to stay busy but not lazy (i.e. not busy with unproductive things, such as facebook, primping, reading, gossiping etc.).
    Keep your home business (photography, baking, animals) and save up for a nice anniversary get away for you and he or save up for the new car he’s always wanted even for more animals to invest in to feed your family!

    I sometimes feel God wants me to be a Steady’s wife but recently he’s been working on me to get along with and respect my (frustrating to me) Visionary/Command Man brother!

    Steady guys are fun so don’t worry, but for certain girls they can get boring, not in my experience yet (and I’m 19)!

    # March 31, 2011

    • Shalom (Staff) - posted the original question.

      Did you girls read what Faith said about Steady fathers getting Angry? This is common with this type, they will stay quiet and let it build up and then, out of nowhere they will get mad and lay the law down or try to. So if you do not want to anger your father or husband-to-be learn to listen to his heart not just his words.

      # April 2, 2011

  13. Faith Grubb

    My study on Idleness and Shamefacedness:

    “By much slothfulness the building decayeth; and through idleness of the hands the house droppeth through.” Ecclesiastes 10:18

    Reminds me of the young man Mike Pearl mentioned once. He was handsome strong etc. but his house was a shack and when Mike Pearl visited he noticed that a hole in the kitchen floor was only covered with a rug that house sure ‘dropped through’!

    So idleness is called a ‘bread’. So we’re not to sit idle eating sounds like to me, I can get idle sometimes but with the prompts from the Spirit I jump up to someone’s aid.

    Shamefacedness: A Jewel.
    Don’t wear pearls, diamonds or gold but shamefacedness, sobriety and modest apparel!

    How simple. Read, heed, obey, and do it!

    God is so good!

    # March 31, 2011

    • Shalom (Staff) - posted the original question.

      Amen sister!

      # April 2, 2011

  14. xoxo

    I spend WAY too much time online and reading books! I LOVE the library and have like a billions different websites I go too. I need to spend more time studying the Bible and laying out my heart before the LORD. (Praying)

    # March 31, 2011

  15. Bekah

    @ Faith Grubb~ you reminded me of one of the common traits of a Steady Man!

    It is hard to tell when they mean it and when they don’t! For example, if I were to ask my Dad if I could use the van or not, he would reply, “I don’t care. Whatever…” whereas a Kingly man would emphatically say “yes” or “no”. However, the Priestly man (my Dad) will leave the choice up to you…

    Say you end up taking the van…later he gets mad cause you used it and he didn’t want you to. But because he didn’t specifically say “no”, you thought he was fine with it.

    Learning to understand the Priestly/Steady man is the challenge of a lifetime, but the rewards are, once you know the way he thinks, he’s not going to change his way of thinking on ya any time soon! 😀

    # April 1, 2011

    • Faith Grubb

      That’s my Daddy! In that place I’d tell him, “Just to make sure, is it okay I use the car?” He’ll see how important it is to you, so he’ll give an ‘important’ answer. They’re fun 🙂

      # April 1, 2011

      • Shalom (Staff) - posted the original question.

        You sound like you really love/ respect your dad that is great! Good step to being a good wife, ladies.

        # April 2, 2011

        • Faith Grubb

          Thank you for the encouragement!

          # April 3, 2011

          • Bekah

            Thanks, Shalom! 🙂

            # April 13, 2011

  16. Melody Grubb

    I’d like to add a little to what my sister said about living with a priestly father.:) I love my priestly father. He is so kind, gentle, and patient. My brother is that way too, and it really endears them to me! At other times, however, they can be frustrating. Like my sister Faith said, Daddy will ‘suggest’ something and when it is not heeded, he gets angry and frustrated that his request was not honored.
    Like most steady men, Daddy is shy about relationships. Sometimes I wish he was a bit more straightforward in giving me direction– telling me how he thinks I’m doing, what I need to change in my attitude/character, etc. It isn’t as easy to talk to him about heart-to-heart matters as it is with my Go-To mom. However, it has helped me to be more attentive to his reactions and when he does speak his opinion, it means he is really serious about it.

    # April 3, 2011

  17. Melody Grubb

    My time-waster is sitting at the computer. I come to check my email, and it turns into an hour before I know it. Like one of you said, even if it’s educational, it’s still a time-waster because it’s the wrong timing. I am working on scheduling in this area because that is the only way I will have control of my computer use.
    This is something, like Shalom said, that really bothers a Steady man. My daddy is always telling us the importance of using our time wisely. I am thankful for his wisdom and am working on heeding it better.

    # April 3, 2011

  18. Hannah L.

    I would LOVE to marry a Mr. Steady! My Pappy is very much a Steady, and we are great buddies. A Mr. Steady’s faithful and “none-pressuring” personality seem almost like Heaven to an emotional and driven girl-prophet like me! 🙂
    I think one good definition for “shamefacedness” is “restrained by a sense of propriety; hence, not forward or bold; not presumptuous or arrogant.” This word also seems to carry the idea of having a “downcast look.” This word seems directly connected to modesty (1 Timothy 2:9-10).
    The study on idleness was convicting. Other words describing idleness are “slothful, doing nothing, unproductive, useless, barren, unfruitful, unprofitable, vain, to lose or spend time in inaction.” Not the way I want to be! One scary verse on idleness is Ezekiel 16:49, where God says that pride, fullness of bread, and much idleness were the sins that lead the city of Sodom into abominations and, eventually, destruction. Younger women are specifically warned not to be idle in 1 Timothy 5:13.

    # April 5, 2011

  19. Bekah

    Shalom, what you said about Priestly men getting angry all of a sudden and attempting to lay down the law is so true…learning to shut up and just let him let it all out is important! 🙂

    # April 5, 2011

  20. Shalom (Staff) - posted the original question.

    Ok girls, I had a thought, for all you queenly/dreamer type girls. You will most likely marry a priest type man for they are generally attracted to your type and vice versa. So this is a worning to be prepared. He will always be slower than you. You will want to be out doing, having a life and he will be content to let it be. It is Ok for you to go out and do somthing. He will look on with pride and joy that you are his. But if you just sit at home being mad that he won’t get out and do somthing with you then you will both be unhappy. I know an older couple that the husband is happy to just come home from work and take a nap than read and go to bed, His wife stays mad at him most of the time. She will say to me, “He thinks he is already an old man and never wants to do anything. She sits at home and has no life outside of waiting for him to do something with her. She is a visionary type and wants to do all kinds of things, yet she thinks she is being a good submissive wife staying home cooking for him and washing his cloths, when the truth is, he just wants her to have a life of her own and then at night enjoy their time together to talk about what they got done that day. This is just a thought do any of you have any insight?

    # April 5, 2011

  21. Caralee

    Oh Shalom! You hit something right on the nail! But I would like to add something to your post. This can be something the other two types of men also like for us queenly/dreamer type of girls to do.

    As I read your post, I was convicted of my own foolishness in the last year. I am the queenly/dreamer type. My husband is the command/visionary type. When he comes home after working really hard, after supper, he likes to lay down and spend his time talking to me, then with our children. I have found this difficult as I am a “get things done type of gal” and sitting down for me is unprofitable. (For those who will give advice, I have tried to occupy my hands during this time by knitting or crocheting etc, but my husband likes my full attention and has kindly requested I don’t do this. Remember, he is the command type of man – he likes me to serve him the way he sees fit. So I am taking Debi ‘s advice and doing what he wants. ) Furthermore, my queenly side gets the best of me and I think I know the best and most profitable way to spend the evening.

    Shalom, this was a very good reminder. I needed to hear it. Thankyou.

    Young ladies – See? Even long time married women need to still grow and change. 🙂

    # April 6, 2011

  22. swifttohear

    Ah! I can relate… My problem is that I just want to be with my husband so much that if I go off and do things on my own, I miss him more! Mind you, he works a schedule that has him home for six days in a row. This can be challenging, because although I can teach the kids to pick up their coats and tidy their boots, I can’t teach him! I am often reminded of the verses pertaining to serving gladly, and having long-suffering and patience with joyfulness (Col. 1). So when I start to cringe when I see that same old mess at the front door, I push it away with a smile and a reminder to be grateful that I have a mess to clean! It’s all about perspective.

    My hubby is less outdoorsy than I. He doesn’t even like camping (sad), so I take the kids by myself to camp “out” in my parents’ back yard. It has turned into great quality time for me and the kids every summer, and we’ve come to love it. God can turn any ‘inconvenience’ into a blessing, as long as we have the heart to recognize it as such!

    # April 6, 2011

  23. Faith Grubb

    That is a very good warning Miss Shalom,
    “the husband is happy to just come home from work and take a nap than read and go to bed” is my Daddy, he works a lot of overtime. But Mama (also a Go-to-Gal like me) does ‘live it up’ for Jesus all the time and Daddy is so proud of her (yesterday was their 25th Wedding Anniversary).

    She’s a great example and will be a great one to turn to for counsel when I am married be it a Priest or any type guy!

    I would also be warning myself not to go all out with ‘my life’ either- if I married a Priest. Because then you’ll run into Him feeling left high and dry.

    Another example I look at is Miss Shashonna (Pearl) Easling. I love her Bulk Herb store and I can really see how its more her business and her man is a more Steady guy who looks on with pride (could be wrong?).

    # April 6, 2011

  24. Bekah

    I absolutely loved what you said, Shalom!! 🙂

    The Priestly man will go bonkers if his Go-to-gal wife sits around doing nothing!!!!! This is my Dad!!!! He delights in seeing us (Mom and I) busy, and doing profitable things. I don’t mean busy doing things that aren’t really getting us anywhere~ I mean getting out there and getting the job done, so to speak! 🙂

    My Dad is the type who comes home from work and will often just take a bath, listen to the radio or something, then off to bed. Now and then he will do an odd job, but sometimes, if you aren’t careful, it’s easy to think of him as lazy because he doesn’t do anything when he gets home. From what I can see, this is typical of many men, not just a Priestly man.

    Another thing I wanted to add to this conversation is that the women who are married to a Prophet or Kingly man often envy the women who are married to the Priestly man because their lives are so stable and predictable. 🙂

    I think learning to be content in whatsoever state one is, is the key to being happy no matter what your situation…however knowing that and doing that are two different things…I am working on it! 🙂

    # April 7, 2011

  25. Shalom (Staff) - posted the original question.

    I posted this under another post on this sight but thought I would put it up here for you girls to read too, it is good info. I want to share with you something that a lot of girls ask. {What is God’s will for my life.} This is mostly coming out of chapter 6 of Preparing so if you want read that chapter again it would help you understand what I am saying better. God made Adam; he got lonely, so God made a woman for HIM. To be His helper. A woman reflects the man from which she was derived. She was made for him. God created us so that we could meet his needs, body, soul, mind and emotions. We were created to be a blessing and help to him. We know we were CREATED to marry and serve our husbands, to be his helper. So does God call us to do something out side of why we were created in the first place? I am just asking, I do not know the answer. At the same time God says, “There is a difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried women careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: But she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she my please her husband.” 1 Corinthians 7:34 Both are just as important to obey. I told my girls at my preparing class last night. The more you serve God, learn to love him, obey his word, walk in his will and not your own, be humble and chaste in your walk before God, then when you get married you will be prepared to be a wife no matter what type of man you marry; Prophet, Priest or king, for God is all three. If you learn to serve and obey the King of Kings then how much more should you be able to serve a small picture of who he is. So I want you to remember and never forget you were created to be a helper, serving God now is just a training ground to do what God made you for in the beginning. Have you ever heard a wife talking bad about her husband or a wife getting offended and keeping her heart from him, how about her just showing him disrespect. When you see a wife do this do you think she is wrong? Well, what about you? Are you disrespectful to God at times, talk bad about someone, or do anything that is not bringing glory to your Man/God? Is that not just as wrong? He did say young women serve God and married women serve your husbands in the same reference. Oh My, this is tough love. I wish I had thought of this as a young unmarried women, this is good stuff. Ok, sorry for the long post. Go love your Man/God

    # April 7, 2011

    • Caralee

      Amen! Excellent! So convicting and yet amazingly truthful and freeing!

      I am writing this down for future reference. You wrote a most challenging post. I totally concur with you on this. I have come to this understanding in recent years that God’s will for me is to be a help meet for my husband.

      Shalom says, “So does God call us to do something out side of why we were created in the first place?” Wow! What a question!

      Your post would be great to turn into an article or a study as it has sooo much in it to learn about from the Bible.

      Shalom says, “So I want you to remember and never forget you were created to be a helper, serving God now is just a training ground to do what God made you for in the beginning. ” Excellent advice.

      # April 7, 2011

    • swifttohear

      That one is worthy of an AMEN, sister!

      # April 7, 2011

  26. Bekah

    And yet another says Amen! 🙂

    # April 9, 2011

  27. messengeroftruth

    computer; email, different websites, facebook (even though i don’t even have my own profile!)

    # May 8, 2011