A girl’s emotions (at least mine) change from week to week, or even day to day depending on the circumstances. She may have just liked you as a friend, or (as bad as it sounds) liked the attention you gave her as a friend. Girls have emotional needs that are met through conversation and attention. There are a few guys I am good friends with, and it would take me by surprise if they wanted to pursue me. That doesn’t mean that I don’t like them- it just means I haven’t thought of them in that way and need some time to adjust. The good news is that girls are very good at changing their minds. Right now you need to earn her respect and admiration. Don’t try to do this by talking to her or being with her, though. She will be intently watching how you interact with others, how you spend your money, if you are comfortable with kids. Hate to break it to you, but since she knows you pretty well and wasn’t romantically attached, she’ll probably be picking apart your faults and asking herself if she can live with that. If you flirt with other girls, drive too fast, or wear clothes from the early ’90s. If you are horrible at playing guitar, or if you have lived in a trailer for the past several years, or like reading the New International Perversion. If she’s head over heels in love with you she won’t care about this stuff but it doesn’t sound like your girl is there yet. She said she needs time to think about it, and that’s probably a good sign.
Maybe she likes your character but isn’t physically attracted to you due to weight or other health issues. I don’t know if this is true or not, but if she is fit and you aren’t, it wouldn’t hurt to work out some. Or maybe she is a sturdy strong farm girl and you are a small, skinny city boy and she doesn’t want to feel like the ‘masculine’ one in the relationship. Or she could like another guy and be wondering if he will return the affection. I have no idea if this is the case or not, I’m just thinking back on my own experiences.

Appreciate the response ladies. I actually laughed at how you described the things this girl might look at lol funny stuff Bethany.

Here’s a little about myself. I’m about 6″1′, muscular build and workout at the gym 2-3 days outta the week on average. There is a good number of young ladies chasing me around at church and out of church. I am also a youth minister.

This young lady that I met is actually out of state and I don’t see her that often. Maybe once every month or two because we have mutual friends. One thing she did tell me is that there was a point where she definitely liked me maybe a month after meeting me, but she never mentioned why she stopped liking me or did she? Because she continues to treat me the way she did soon after we met and when we talked about my feelings for her, she seemed to hide and cover up her acts of affection when I confronted her. I’m still very confused..

Thanks a lot KA! Very valuable information.

It’s too bad these comments take so long to get approved, but here’s the latest breakdown in this situation.

About 2 days after my conversation with the girl, she texted me back and told me that she’s doesn’t want to lead me on, but that she still wants to stay friends. One thing I told her when we met in person is that we wouldn’t be able to stay friends like before if she doesn’t have mutual feelings. And that’s what I told her. But I didn’t want to part on bad terms, so we met on Skype and talked for about 2 hours. I just encouraged her on her walk with God, remembered some good times and asked her not to call/text to give me time and space to move on.

It’s been a month now since we talked and I’ve been praying for her daily and I feel like I can’t give up. I wrote her a letter a few days ago and told her that she can write back if she wishes. Waiting for her reply if there is one.