Posted March 26, 2013

I have several friends whom are boys. I try to make sure all our conversations are chaste, discreet and pleasing to The Lord. One of them recently complained to me about how he was recently “outshone” by people “less talented than him” and well, he didn’t specifically ask for advice, but I gave it to him because his speech was a little prideful and I didn’t want to see him get hurt by his pride. So I basically told him (in a respectful, friendly way) that life doesn’t always go as we want it, and that we can’t let prideful or “but I’m BETTER” thoughts consume us or even have a place… because our thoughts become actions and thoughts like that aren’t pleasing to God, I’m sure. He agreed readily, and I think was humbled, but I have to ask, was what I said right? Was it out of place for me to “rebuke” him, if that’s even what it was? Was I teaching him, or was it just advice? Because it is clear in The Bible that women are not to teach men (1 Tim. 2:12-14 )! Also, was it unchaste for him to even complain to me? He asked me if he “could rant” to me about it, should I have stopped him from telling me about it? I only want to have God-honoring relationships and I do not know if that is out of place! Any thoughts?


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  1. liera

    It sounds like you have a heart that wants to do good, and I can understand that it is hard to decide what that is sometimes. Just think, in the future when you are married, would you want your husband to have had girls close to him that were “just friends”. Do you think a super really great guy would want a girl who has a lot of guy friends?

    I don’t know how old you are, but keep your friendships with guys to a minimum and in group settings. I would not be talking to boys alone, cause’ you’ll probably end up necking with one of them sooner or later, or if you don’t fall to temptation could be accused of it anyway. Sweet good girls like you, just like any other gal, can easily fall under the power of twinkling eyes and puckered lips.

    He should be talking to his parents about deep personal issues, or an elder male, brother…but not you. You intimately know him now. I have been married 8 years, and though my husband and I have a super awesome relationship, it is not often that he would say something so deep and personal to me, and would never say that to anyone else at all. Also, the Bible tells us not to confess our sins one to another, I guess kind of like David’s son confessed his burning desire for his sister to that one friend…it did not turn out good for that family!

    So, just stick with having friends of sisters in Christ, and save the conversations for your hubby. It’ll be super fun when you find that special guy!

    # May 3, 2013