I’ve completed an associates degree in College, but have been recently feeling called to remain at home. The main trouble is that my Mama wants me to get my degree (masters, actually), which would entail me continuing for another 5 years. The campus I would go to is very dark, and though I have considered myself a college missionary of sorts, I don’t feel up to the task of taking on this campus. How do I approach this?
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Being a good help meet starts long before marriage. It is a mindset, a learned habit, a way of life established as a young unmarried girl—or at least that’s the way it should be. Nearly every wife will confess that the first year or two of married life was—how shall I say it—a frustrating learning experience.
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Have you prayed about it? I know it may seem like a no brainer question. I was in kind of a similar situation where I was faced with the decision of whether to continue in an intercollegiate sport for another year (long story short), and just really felt no peace about either direction that I could go. My parents both had different opinions on the subject, but left the decision totally up to me. I felt that I had prayed quite a bit about it, but still no clarity. Then I took an entire day and pretty much shut myself up in my room and really earnestly asked God for simply PEACE and CLARITY about either direction. I asked Him to show me verses that would really speak to my dilemma and to make it very clear to me what His will was, because I really had absolutely no idea! I also did the “open your Bible to a random page” thing and was absolutely astounded. Verse after verse exploded in my mind with arrowlike precision, giving me no doubt about what God’s will was in that situation. I am not saying that this will happen for you exactly like this, but I KNOW that God has said in the scripture that His sheep will know his voice. That’s one thing that is so great about turning to prayer for clarity through His word and and then opening your heart for the voice of scripture, because when we look to scripture there is less confusion and Satan can’t play the old “oh that is just your own thought popping into your head, not the voice of God.”
I think some of this depends on WHY your mother wants you to get your masters. What is her reasoning behind it? What does your dad think? Scripture also says that wisdom is found in a multitude of counsels (not an exact quote, but that verse is on my list to memorize!) Maybe you could ask your pastor, or a grandmother/older woman that could give you godly advice. Just don’t leave scripture as the last resort, it should really be the first thing we consult!
and please let us know whatever you decide!!
Like Evelyn said, the power of prayer and studying scripture cannot be under emphasized. I totally understand what you mean about feeling like a “college missionary.” It can be exhausting being the ONLY ONE who isn’t part of the depraved college scene.
Partway through my first year of college, I was still trying to decide what to major in. I had come down to two options (each of which would entail going to a different school), and after much thought and prayer, I could not decide what to do. Then another option I was unaware of sort of “dropped out of heaven” so to speak. Something just seemed right about it so I started pursuing some more information and the more I learned, the more I felt that maybe this was where I was supposed to be.
Now here’s the kicker – most everyone I know and trust was pushing me to go away to College #1 and pursue Major #1. Both option #1 and option #2 would entail me moving away from home and attending nice schools where I would get a degree that would result in a nice salary. Option #3 would mean living at home and getting my degree from the same small school I was currently attending. And the post-school salary would still be comfortable, but not as, well, big 🙂 as the other degrees.
Don’t get me wrong, I love my family and get along great with them, but was excited about the prospect of going away to school and living in a new place. So when I started to feel God leading me to stay here, I was kind of disappointed. After all, why stay home to go to school when everyone was encouraging me to transfer, and when I could make more money with other degrees? (Not that I’m all about the $$$, but it is something to consider. 🙂 )
But then things just fell into place. It was absolutely amazing how every little detail seemed to work out and be pointing me toward staying here and going to the same school. And I had such a peace about the decision. I absolutely believe that we should consult godly counsel when making big decisions, but ultimately, we must rely on God to direct our steps. Many of the godly “counselors” in my life were encouraging me to go away to College #1, but that was apparently not where God wanted me. It doesn’t mean that #1 was a BAD thing; it was just not God’s BEST. I was praying throughout the whole process, asking God to make it clear to me where to go. Every time I thought about options 1 and 2, there was hesitancy, doubt and confusion, but I had absolute peace of heart and mind about staying here to go to school.
So, long story short (too late for that), I will be staying here and going to college. For the first time, I am actually excited about school and not feeling like I’m just floundering around, looking for a purpose.
Pray and continually ask God for direction. He will answer your prayers in His own good time (which doesn’t always match up with our timetables!) And keep in mind that He uses different means to show us what to do. We may not like where He leads us or think it sounds very fun or easy, but when we are following God’s leading, we will have peace about our decisions. I’ll end my long-winded story with the words of George Muller on discerning the will of God. Muller said:
1. Seek to get your heart in such a condition that it has no will of its own in regard to a given matter. Do not depend on feelings or impressions.
2. Seek the will of the Spirit of God through, or in connection with, the Word of God.
3. Take into account providential circumstances.
4. Ask God in prayer to reveal His will clearly.
Please keep us updated on what you decide. 🙂
I know a home school girl who wore 1 century Christian attire (head covering and full length dress) to a local liberal arts college in the area. She had grown up very disciplined in biblical study and had a close relationship with mother perhaps father too. The college material wasn’t too difficult, but the social conditions were deplorable so she no longer continued. I know that she probably would have had to face day after day after day sitting alone at a lunch table vs. sitting in a meal with her parents in the comfort of a home, she would much rather prefer the comforts of home.
I can tell you that because of the explosion of feminism in our country, the debts (college loans) that you encounter can be a hindrance in your future marriage. However, you don’t have to let them ruin your life if you can keep your debt to a minimum in such a way that it would take less than one day of labor outside of the home per month to pay off monthly payments.
On the other hand, your mother has some wisdom in encouraging you to get your master’s degree and that wisdom comes from the fact that many women who have bachelor’s degrees or higher have lower divorce rates than the rest of the population. However, those same woman are also working outside the home and further increasing the feminism culture, so the fact of getting a college education doesn’t guarantee a bliss-filled marriage, only a faith in Christ will do that.
Perhaps there are on-line options available to you. If I had known that online college was available I would have chosen that route. It is a VERY IMPORTANT decision to challenge your MIND in some sort of fashion because the roots of deception lurk in all sorts of places in the world of business, and having a good head on your shoulders will help you stay afloat in your future marriage.
The temptation to seek comfort and companionship from a “boyfriend” are HIGH when you are in the college atmosphere, there is no doubt about that. boyfriend=baggage.
speaking of randomly opening the bible……
I attended a church that actually practices that a couple times a week and then reads the portions selected. It helps to do a “morality check” in that fashion to make sure you are meeting UP to God’s standards and such.
Hi, all!
Thanks for the advice. For right now at least, I am enrolled at a college near by. It has a pretty ungodly reputation, but there are believers on campus, so I will not be alone. My major is English … pretty dangerous, right?! But at the community college that I was attending, several of my English teachers offered me their positions once they retire. So I’ve got a bit of a foot in the door if I do need a career. Hopefully I won’t, but if I do, the Masters will definitely help.
The main issue I have with going to college is the whole thing about young women being “discreet, chaste, keepers at home,” etc. It is difficult to be a keeper at home when at college most of the time! And to pay for it (I have a conscience opposition to my taking student loans or financial aid) I have to work as well. So that has been even more time away from my home. But for now, it seems that that is where I am supposed to be, so even though I don’t want it, per se, I’m doing my best to look forward to it.
Last confession (probably unknowingly the biggest issue with it, though it only really occurred to me recently as part of the reason). There is a young gentleman that I know (you know where this is going, don’t you! 🙂 ) in whom I am a bit … okay, very … interested. I’ve known him for years, and have grown to respect him greatly over the past year or so. His character is pretty spotless, as far as I can tell, and I think he is a King/Priest, and I am the servant girl type. Anyway, his family doesn’t believe in going to college, exactly. But they all seem to like me despite the fact that I’m going. They just seem like they would prefer if I didn’t. I sometimes worry that going may turn them off from me… Okay. Confession over.
Those are just a few reasons. Do keep me in your prayers! Thanks, and comment away. 🙂
Im a college student. I love being a “college missionary” THough it can be tiring. I go to a secular school which I love. I found daily bible study making sure I have a good church and bible study helped me stay firm in my faith you never know the wonderful people you might meet that do love Jesus. I can understand why you might not want to go but God does not always call us to do comfortable things. I would fast and pray and see how God is leading you and ask advice from someone that knows you and will give you honest advise. I think its important to be well educated and intelligent this world need Godly educated people.
Have you considered doing college courses online? (A LOT of colleges including christian ones, offer classes online now) also you should look into taking CLEP test (basically you study on your own and then take 1 test and if you pass a certain benchmark then you get college credit for that whole course!!)
Hope that helps!!