Posted March 26, 2013

Hi Gals,

I am in an interesting predicament that I cannot find much info on. What is a girl to do if she thinks she knows whom she will marry?

I first met him when I was 15 and realized he was the one I wanted when I was 16.When I was 18, I gave it all over to God after a couple stupid mistakes I made with my emotions about this young man. It broke my heart, but he had become an idol in my life. Now, I am 20 and he has unexpectedly walked back into my life. During the two years in which I wasn’t in contact with him, I earnestly asked God to show me and my parents who the right guy was in HIS timing. I earnestly believe that God has shown me that this guy is whom He has for me. Dad is also supportive- he actually told me he hoped I marry this guy. A first ever.

But now I am confused. I am sitting here, single, 20 years old, am 99% sure I know what will happen with my life, and don’t know when. I obviously can’t ignore it too well. Thankfully I don’t see him very often because we live several hours apart. Am I jumping the gun and making the same mistake I did several years ago? Do I pray for him specifically and by any need I am aware of? I know I should not just go up to him and tell him that I think we are to get married. Duh! Do I prep for setting up housekeeping? I haven’t told anyone who hasn’t guessed the situation. (Grandmas are pretty nosy.) I know “keeping your heart” is thrown around a lot. How is  girl to do that in this situation?

My interest in him has been mutual since our mid teens. I do not know what it was like for him during the two years in which we were not in contact. I know that since we got back in contact he has continued to act as if he is interested in me. (Our contact is in the form of our two large homeschool families getting together occasionally.)

I am super mixed up and Mom is as well. It isn’t like there is a chapter of the Bible addressing this kind of issue and I don’t remember ever seeing it in any gal’s books. I would appreciate any input you could give.




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  1. sierra

    Pray, pray, pray about this! Pray that God will guide you thru this & help you to grow & that He will grant you the wisdom to know how to handle this.
    I have an idea of how you feel, and I know it’s not the best feeling. If you’re 20, I would say, find some kind of ministry to do. Anything! Right now you need to be putting your focus on things of Christ. Your best time to serve Him is NOW, while you’re young and unmarried, because when you marry, your life will be filled with serving your husband.
    Not only will it fill you life with purpose, but it will set your sites on God, and you can’t go wrong with that. I have to admit, I am only 17, but I also have to say, right now, my focus is on serving God. So I am filling my time in serving Christ.

    Praying for you! 🙂

    ~ Sierra

    # March 27, 2013

  2. blackwhitedenim

    You’re not going to like this, but I would say… wait! Yep, that’s about all you can do. In the mean time, keep your feelings to yourself and maybe one or two trusted friends (like your mom).

    One time I had a friend who was 99% sure that she was going to be with a certain guy. I thought she was silly for telling me that. I liked the guy as well, and knew somebody had to be wrong, and it wasn’t God. It’s been 5 months and her 99% is now my 100%.

    It’s worth it to just wait. But don’t count your chicks before they hatch- keep a full busy life and a smile on your face.

    # March 28, 2013

  3. raggedycottagegarden

    Some people have to wait seven or more years before God calls the man to ask for a hand in marriage (dream, vision etc). It happens in modern times. Some even longer.

    Don’t give up and jump ship in to this world, keep the fight of faith.

    I would be content as you are.

    # March 30, 2013

  4. lizzieteacher

    Well this might not be the kind of response that you want to hear but here goes…..
    When I was around your age I was like you are so sure that a certain young man was “THEE ONE” 😉 He was around our family lots and I was sure that I had “signs” that meant we would someday be togther I just didn’t know when.
    I told a few people about this young man……probably too many…..and I waited and waited and prayed and prayed…..but I am afraid I kind of “gave away my heart” so to speak. At this point nothing has ever become of this so I am still trusting God about my future but not really thinking anymore in the past “direction”
    The only way to be 100% sure he is to be your husband is when you are married!!!:)
    I just want to caution you to not spend too much time thinking about him or the 2 of you in your future together. If God wants this to happen it will happen.
    Also even praying about it too much can be a hindrance…..There is nothing wrong with praying for someone as long as we aren’t using it as an excuse to “meditate” on them and the situation.
    I am truly wishing you all the best and trust that God will give you His perfect peace.
    Definetly keep busy and it doesn’t hurt to become more apt in running a household as you will likely need this skill sometime in your life
    Keep us updated and keep holding onto Jesus!

    # April 5, 2013