Posted September 10, 2012

I’m a born again Christian and the Lord has really been busy with me this year. I really desire to follow Him and be obedient to Him.

I am a bit confused about something and I wonder if some of you ladies could help and give me your opinions and maybe some scripture to back up?

A few years ago, I promised my (worldy) friend that I would sing at her wedding. She loves that song by Shania Twain (You’re still the one) and she wanted me to sing that if she ever got married one day. At the time when she asked me, I kind of agreed to it, but not definitely. I also didn’t know who her future husband would be. I was still immature and we were both still at school. Im 23 years of age now by the way.

Anyway, she is now getting married. She is not saved and has been living with her boyfriend for over a year now. I am sure that they have been sleeping together (although she hasn’t told me directly; she has only said that they sleep in the same bed and shower together, which is already way overboard!! and ungodly and they should never have been staying together!!)

I didn’t approve of their relationship from the beginning, but I am glad that they are now getting married. They are both ungodly and hopefully this will draw them closer to the Lord and bring about their salvation.

Now she wants me to sing that song “You’re still the one” at their wedding. Please google the lyrics. I don’t really feel comfortable, but am unsure. I made her a promise?? Am i still obliged to keep it, against my convictions??

The reason I feel a bit uncomfortable, is basically because the song is speaking about the fact that they are still together after all these years etc etc… But fact is, I havn’t approved of their ungodly relationship and the way that they have done things. So how can I sing that song about them?

What do you ladies think?? What would you do in the situation?? Thanks, Talitha


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  1. peach blush

    Could you offer to sing another song?

    # September 11, 2012

  2. Sarah Beth

    I think that as long as they are still getting married. My Mom and Dad are still together which is a huge miracle. (my mom got pregnant with me at 17 yrs.) But also if it goes agianst your conciense then mabye you shouldn’t sing it. Always listen to that voice inside of you that is usually God speaking. You could ask her if you could sing a different song.

    # September 11, 2012

  3. Butterfly Kisses

    You said she hasn’t told you directly that she is sleeping with her boyfriend. If they are living together, sleeping in the same bed, and showering together, they are sleeping together. No, I don’t think you are obliged to keep your promise. If you feel uncomfortable now about potentially singing this song for her, you are going to be feeling much worse actually singing it at her wedding. If your inner alarm bell is going off, I think that is a pretty good sign that you shouldn’t do it. Ask yourself this question: Would you have regrets if you did sing for her? If you decide not to sing, pray for the right words to say to her to explain why you won’t sing for her wedding. If she doesn’t like what she is hearing from you, she is just going to have to deal with it. She can’t make you do it; and if she tries to guilt you into doing it, stick to your convictions. I hope this helps you.

    # September 11, 2012

  4. Beth

    It is funny that you ask that question. My sister just got married last fall. My mother asked me to arrange some flowers for the alter. Thinking about arranging the flowers for her wedding I immediatly said yes. Later I thought about it and realized where the flowers were going — on an alter in a catholic church! I didn’t know what to do, I had all ready commited and no-one else was able to do it. I had planned to attend the ceremony (her being my sister) but not the service. I did end up arranging the flowers. I did feel a little uneasy, but it was for my sister’s wedding. Out side of arranging the flowers I did not partake in the wedding at all, just attended. There is not really anything wrong with flowers, is there anything wrong with the song? However, like I said, it was where the flowers were going that made me uneasy. Where is the wedding taking place? Could you sing it at the reception instead of the ceremony?

    # September 11, 2012

  5. Toni

    If she is not claiming to be a Christian, and she is not saved then you are not to judge her. We are only to judge our fellow brethren who are claiming to be saved, and living in sin because it sets a bad example to others. Michael Pearl does some great teaching on this. I was just listening to it today on His Revelations teaching which is free to download. So support your friend and show her how wonderful The Lord is, by being an example of Him, and one day she may come to know Him.
    It is not your concern what she has done, she is not claiming to be righteous. It’s awesome she is actually getting married and doing the right thing.

    # September 13, 2012

    • Beth

      Like you said she is responsible for her actions. Being a christian, Talitha needs to act or sing as one should. If the song is not church appropriate then it should not be sung in church but maybe at the reception — just my oppinion.

      # September 18, 2012

    • Beth

      Talitha cannot just go allong with it because her friend is not a christian.

      # September 18, 2012

  6. Amy Lizzie

    Yikes this sounds a bit tricky!
    Is there possibly another song that you could sing that YOU would be comfortable with? Check out some christian wedding songs online. I know you don’t want to risk your friendship with her….but I encourage you to hold fast to your convictions! I just googled the lyrics and I certainly wouldn’t want to sing this song either.
    The Bible says we are to ” Abstain from all appearance of evil” 1 Thessalonians 5:22 Under the circumstance this song would probably describe your friends un-pure relationship. God will give you wisdom seek him and He will show you what to do! Keep Holding on to Jesus!

    # September 15, 2012

  7. daddys girl

    Something else is, on some things some people are going to do what theyre gonna do. For example, my dad prefers for my mom and i to wear our hair simple. Ponytaills, braids, straight down ect. So we don’t usually do anything toooo fancy, unless we are going on a date with my dad or somewhere special. All that to say when my aunt got married my mom did her fancy. Why? Because someone was going to do it, mama knew how being that she used to be a cosmetolagist, and it was her sister. My grandma wanted mom to make her a pair of shorts, i dont wear shorts, but my mom had found these cool pants that we were wearing so she offered to make my grandma a pair. My grandma asked for shorts, and mom made them because after all she would get them from somewhere, i didnt google the lyrics, but if it were me, i would sing it. UNLESSSSSS the words were bad:) Hope that helps.
    Oh a good wedding song is, Completely by Ana Laura!!!!!!

    # September 17, 2012

  8. Daddys Girl

    Oh! And you have become a new person in Christ. SO old things are done away with!!!

    # September 19, 2012

  9. liera

    “You’re still the one, the one that I love, the only one I dream of, you’re still the one I kiss goodnight!” These words are not sinful, so the song is fine for lovers. You are an example of Christ’ love and forgiveness. This unsaved couple will just be angry and ashamed if you back out on singing at their wedding, and feel that you are another quack Christian. Sometimes, we lady Christians focus so much on spirituality in black and white, and don’t realize that we are dealing with people with emotions, and a need for Christ. They are getting married, and trying to start a relationship of commitment. Show them that you are committed to loving kindness! They need you to be an example of what is holy. God says that the conversation of the wives can turn a husband to Christ. Does this mean that wives should stand on principles and morality and their husbands will turn? No, their loving words, and giving hearts will turn their husbands. Just as your gesture of kindness, love, and hope will turn their hearts to Jesus. Let your words sweetly flow for they will help bring unsaved souls to the awesomeness of God! Sing the song, and tell your friend and her husband, and be a good support for them. Hopefully your true Godly example of charity (giving to those who don’t deserve it) will help them to see the true nature of Christianity.

    # December 18, 2012