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Marriage God’s Way – How He May Please His Wife

By Michael Pearl


[intro music]

Michael Pearl:  …seeking the good of the other person. The Bible said, “He that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.” Now, think about that. This is the Apostle Paul taking about marriage, and he said when a man gets married, he can no longer give himself fully to serving the Lord. He said the person who is not married can serve God without distraction. But that an individual that’s married doesn’t have the liberties to be a full‑time Christian server. I have seen people say, “I am going to be a full‑time Christian server.” Not if you’re married.

Your first obligation if you are married is to be a full‑time husband and full‑time father. After that, you are part‑time minister. The only full‑time minister is the one who has no wife and has no children. The rest of us are part time. I am afraid most preachers have never learned that lesson. Consequently, many preachers lose their children to the world. Some of them lose their wife, and lose their marriage and are destroyed.

I’ve heard many preachers who are divorced say that it came about, because they spent too much time winning other people to the Lord on ministry and not enough time with their wife. Men, if you are married, let it be known, that God expects you to care for your wife in worldly matters. He cares for the things of the world, how he may please his wife.

He expects you to do the silly things that don’t count in eternity for your wife. He expects you to take time out from things you feel are more important to court your lady. Now, let’s get off to a start by asking the question, “What is it that women, wives most want? What is it that causes dissatisfaction?” I have not read in to these yet, but I know the thing that causes the most dissatisfaction and the answer is simple. What women want is what they wanted before they got married.

They want someone that is just starry‑eyed over them. They want someone that loves them. They want someone that will court them. Now I don’t buy my wife flowers. I don’t guess I bought her flowers since we got married. I bought them then. But, the other day, I was at the woods in the springtime. I was on the tractor doing something.

I spotted some little wild flowers, half the size of a dime, and they were kind of rare looking. I picked a handful of them and brought them in and I said, “These are really rare, special flowers. They grow deep in the woods and the only people allowed to find them, are those who are deeply in love.” I handed her the flowers.


Michael:  Now she laughed at me like I was goofy silly, but she stuck them in a little vase, and they stayed there till it dried up, before she threw them out. Now, you say, “What were you doing?” Well, I just did that for fun because I wanted to cheer up her, not that she was un‑cheered. But I wanted to delight her. I felt towards her like a young fellow feels towards a girl whose favor he wants to win. And so, I came in the house to win her favor, to win her smile, to win her attention and her approval. Before you get married, have you ever noticed young couples at the mall or someplace, they are just always looking at each other, always smiling, always conscious of where the other one is, or when they come to a party, or to church, preachers notice that!

They are always looking at each other, and just loving each other with their eyes. That’s what a wife wants, after being married 30 years. An old couple was walking along the road in an old country town, and they looked in the window of the inn. When they did, there were several objects in the window, and both of them looked at each other and just the beginnings of a smile swept across their face, a little twitch at the corner of an eye, and they were holding hands.

They squeezed just a little bit, no one around could see, and they walked on. They just told a big story to each other. They just re‑encountered an experience that they had years ago. Some object that caught their attention in the window.

Men, I want to say to you right from the start, that what your lady needs is a lover. What she needs is an admirer. What she needs is someone who looks at her and says, “You’re the cutest, smartest, sweetest, most delightful human being and I cannot live without you.”

Now, ladies, are there any of you that would say, amen! Are there any of you who would say amen to that. Amen! That’s right. That’s what the ladies are looking for.

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8 comments on “Marriage God’s Way – How He May Please His Wife”

  1. I really enjoy you magazine and read it from cover to cover. So much common sense! I just read created to be a help meet for the 3rd time and have been passing it on… it has done so much good for us, all christian ladies should read it. I am so wishing for it to be translated in french!? Let me know if you’d be interested, I know a translator (sister in our assembly) that may be interested to do it.. I ask the Lord to bless you all and that He may use your ministry to make our christian homes shine for Him. God bless, S.Raynaud

  2. Thank you for this message. I’m married to a wonderful man who makes me feel like I’m the greatest thing on earth after 18 years of marriage and six children. When things get stressful or I’m feeling weary, my husbands love for me carries me through it. This has reminded me to be very thankful for that.

  3. I loved this message. My husband has been “courting” me for 25 years. I am currently undergoing treatment for breast cancer. I have no hair, dark circles under my eyes that no makeup can conceal, and have gained 25 pounds from the chemo and steroids. And every day, he tells me how beautiful I am, even sexy. When all the other guys at his office look for reasons to work late and avoid going home to their wives, my husband rushes to be home with me and our children. He always has. We have so much fun together. When he sneaks up behind me for a kiss and a hug, I feel so cherished. Debi’s book not only revealed ways I was being unloving to him, and unappreciative of his love for me, but it showed me how to turn around and love him back. Thank you for your ministry.

  4. Such a good reminder of what I as a husband need to continue to do. I’m convinced I’m married to the best girl in the world as my helper. I’ll tell her that again right now!

  5. The one moment Adam left his wife alone she was deceived by the serpent. The downfall of man had Eve as its main agent, but Adam took the blame too since he was expected to take good care of the gift God had given him…

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