Protecting Your Personal Space

Episode Transcription:

Kirsten:  Hi, I'm Kirsten. And I'm here with Captain Steve Pearl. Can you tell me exactly what you do, Captain Steve?

Captain Steve Pearl:  I sure can. About 15 years ago, I started researching simple self‑defense techniques that all women could master. Most women think that self‑defense has to do with a weapon. They think it's all built around some sort of weapon. And they think if I can just go to the range, get my concealed carry permit, I will be safe. That is just not true.

I will be teaching you some very simple, very usable self‑defense techniques.

Kirsten:  OK. I have a question. If I am at my, pulling into my driveway after going grocery shopping, and I am in my comfort zone. I'm in my safety zone. I'm in my driveway, and I'm unloading my car. And a guy comes up to me, what should I do?

Steve:  Kirsten, there's something, a very simple self‑defense technique that is so incredibly important. If we had a one to 10, it would be an 11. And that is to protect your personal space with everything you've got. You keep danger out of there. The antelope on the plains of Africa knows there is a space. And we don't know where that is for the antelope, but when a lion gets within that space, they're in the next zip code.

Us. We are taught to be receptive. To be nice. To respond to people coming into our safety zone, but most of us are very uncomfortable when people get as close as you and I. They begin to feel uncomfortable. We should feel that. We continually put that down as part of a culture and a society that says we need to be hospitable.

Well, in self‑defense situations, you need to protect your space. If that's in the driveway, at Wal‑Mart, at the gas station, if you let people come up within two or three feet of you, they have the advantage over you. They can hurt you, attack you, intimidate you. So you've got to protect that space.

Now if it's in your driveway and someone approaches you, the first thing you want to do‑this is something that I call "imperative phrases." "Sir, Stop!" Right there. I have used that hundreds, if not thousands of times. I have never had it not work.

If somebody tries to approach me at Tiger Mart, I say, "Sir Stop!"

Now if they don't, I get louder. A couple of times I've had street people try to get closer, after the second time, they stop.

Kirsten:  [laughs]

Steve:  So the first thing is to protect your space, and you do that with your mouth. Now, even if you're a young woman, you need to practice that in your car. You're driving around, you stop at a stoplight. "Sir, stop!" Just like that. You be forceful. An imperative phrase is not a suggestion. It's not optional. You've got to do it. You see what I mean? So practice it. What am I doing here? I'm doing body language. Right now I've communicated. I don't care if I'm four feet tall. Female. 90 pounds. "Sir, stop! I am not a victim."

That's what you're telling him. "I am not a victim. Don't pick me. Go somewhere else today." If you are in a dark driveway, you do the same thing. "Sir, stop!" Use it just like that. Just as forceful.

You say, "But I'm a timid person." Well, that's called acting.

Kirsten:  [laughs]

Steve:  I'm a nice guy. I'm Captain Steve, you know? I'm a nice guy, but you got to use that. And sometimes, we have got to, "Sir, Stop!" We'll talk more about this later.

Kirsten:  Thank you, Captain Steve.

Steve:  You're welcome.

Pearls of Wisdom follows the No Greater Joy team as they discuss and answer questions about raising children, marriage, simple living, gardening, homeschooling, and more! Each week will cover different topics - topics that YOU - the viewer choose! This is a great show for the whole family and anyone who wants some extra "Pearls of Wisdom" to come their way.