Lizzy: Hi. I am Lizzy, and I'm here with Captain Steve Pearl. Tell us what you do?
Captain Steve: Lizzy, about 15 years ago, I started researching personal security and self defense.
Lizzy: Oh, wow.
Steve: Most of the time, people think of self defense involving a weapon or three days a week at a dojo, learning the martial arts.
Lizzy: [laughs] Yeah.
Steve: Well, I've developed simple, effective techniques that a young woman can use to protect herself.
Lizzy: OK, that's good. That's good. Well, according to... In preparing to help me... I am a go‑to gal, and one of my traits is confidence. So say I was driving, and I broke down on the side of the road. What should I do?
Steve: Lizzy, that is a great question. Very often people tend to either panic and just sit there frozen, not knowing what to do, or they jump out of the car and start waving their hands, trying to flag somebody down.
Steve: There are predators that do nothing but travel the roads and the highways, looking for people in trouble. So if you've got to accept help, here's a simple rule.
Steve: Never accept help from someone who's offering help because they sought you out, they tried to get into your space and help you. It's far better for you to get out of the car and stand there and look for a man with a wife, a man with children, somebody who's already got a family connection, and you flag them down. Think of the statistical probability of you flagging down a predator. That's pretty remote. However, when you're sitting in a car for three hours, and you've got thousands of people and all of sudden one stops to help you: might he be a good guy? Yes, he might. I have stopped to help people. But the statistical probability of you picking out a predator is fairly remote.
Steve: When you stop: here's a man coming down the road, he's got two children in the car that are bouncing around, not in seat belts, flag him down and ask him for help. The other thing you can do is roll down your window, just a little. If somebody stops, say, "Would you please call the police. Please call help." Ask them for help, roll the window up and stop the conversation. Do not allow somebody to chip away at your will. We had talked about this in another segment about relinquishing our will. Stop the conversation, look ahead and do not allow somebody to get you tied up into answering questions. OK.
Another thing you can do: Roll the window down, "I'm sorry, sir. Thank you. My husband's on the way." "Thank you, sir. I just talked to a policeman. He's sending help right now." There are lots of scenarios. Think about them before, so that when it happens, you've already got a little...
Lizzy: ...you're not caught off guard. Right. That makes sense.
Steve: You know what you can do. But here is the bad thing: accepting help from somebody who's determined to give you help.
Lizzy: Right. OK.
Steve: One day in a parking lot, I had a lady... I walked past her car. She had two kids in the car. She was working on the door latch. I said, "Ma'am, may I help you?" "No, sir. I've got it. Thank you." Immediately, I kept on going. I did not force myself into her space. Now that's what a predator does. He goes over, invades your space and starts trying to help you, whether you want it or not.
Steve: So on the side of a road, be careful of people who absolutely, positively want to get into your space and help you, no matter what you want.
Pearls of Wisdom follows the No Greater Joy team as they discuss and answer questions about raising children, marriage, simple living, gardening, homeschooling, and more! Each week will cover different topics - topics that YOU - the viewer choose! This is a great show for the whole family and anyone who wants some extra "Pearls of Wisdom" to come their way.
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What would you recommend in the reverse situation? If I saw a young woman or someone with children on the side of the road in need of help, should I stop and help them? I always think, better me than a predator. But now I hear predators use tactics to get women to stop and then drag them off. But I feel guilty for just driving on. So how can I help and be safe myself?