Becoming A Man - Part 2

Transcription

[fiddle music]

Host:  Why do some grow up men and others grow up wimps? Teach your boys to be men. [music ends]

Michael Pearl:  A fellow said to me the other day, he said, "I'm thinking about getting married." I said, "You are?" He said, "Yes." I said, "Where do you live?" He said, "I live with Mom and Dad." I said, "What kind of vehicle do you have?" He said, "I'm driving Dad's truck." I said, "What kind of job have you got?" He said, "Well, I was working for my uncle, but he laid me off." I said, "When you get married, what kind of vehicle are you going to use to go on your honeymoon with, and where are you going to live when you bring your bride back home? Where are you going to buy groceries, and she's going to be pregnant and you're going to have to see a doctor, have that baby delivered, maybe need some medicine. Where are you going to get all that money?"

"Oh, I think I'll get a good job." [laughs] I said, "Son, you're not yet ready to get married. You're not ready to think about getting married. You're not a man." I said, "Until you become a man, don't even consider it. You're still a boy." "Well, I'm 23 years old!" I said, "You're a boy. You'll always be a boy until you can face responsibility and make a way for yourself in life."

We live in a time when men are not being made by society. Just this morning I was riding along with a fellow, talking to him. He said, "You know, when my wife came along, when she was young, when she was just 12 years old, her parents made her buy all her clothes." He said, "She had to babysit, do other chores for people to get the money. She had to learn to ration her money out, because she wouldn't have any new clothes to wear. That's the only way she could get her clothes." She came from a rather wealthy family, by the way.

He said, "She and her brother both were raised that way." Now his wife is very frugal. That means she doesn't go out and waste the money that he makes. She saves the money and she is wise in the way she furnishes the house, buying second-hand stuff if she can find it, and that sort of thing. He and his wife get along just wonderfully and have no problems with finances, even though they're not making a lot of money yet—young couple.

He said, "You know, she has a younger brother who was born 10 years after the last child came along, when the couple were quite a bit older." He said, "By that time, they had gotten the grandparent mentality, rather than the parent mentality. They relaxed. They didn't make him buy his clothes. They gave him an allowance."

When you give kids an allowance, you are a Democrat. When you give kids an allowance, then you are a Socialist; you're into the welfare program.

Kids should work and earn every dime they get. He said, "That younger brother was given what he needed. He was furnished with a computer and TV, and whatever else that he might need. Clothes and skateboards and bicycles were bought for him." He said, "Now that he's grown, he's a lazy bum that cannot get a job and hold it and cannot work, and still living with Mama."

I remember one time, years and years ago, a man came to me . . . let me see . . . It was the woman who came to me, and she said, "My son just will not work." I think he must have been 28 or 30 years old at that time. Said, "He just won't work and hold down a job." By the way, he was very bright, very intelligent person. She said, "He just lives at home. What should I do?"

I said, "It's real easy." [laughs] I said, "I can give you a real easy answer for that." I said, "I'll tell you something that will cure him completely." She said, "What's that?" I said, "Change the lock on your door, and when he comes home in the evening, tell him he doesn't live there anymore. Put all his clothes on the front porch and tell him he's on his own."

She said, "But, I couldn't do that." I said, "I know, and that's the reason he's going to stay a sissy, and a weakling, and never be a man, is because you love him too much. You're not willing to do the tough thing and allow him to be a man." I said, "The reason he is the way he is, is because you've harbored him, protected him, kept him from being hurt, kissed his wounds, and made sure he had every need met. You've not allowed him to be the man and provide for himself."

She didn't do it, just as I knew she wouldn't. I saw him not long ago and he stayed a sissy, a wimp all of his life. He'll die an old wimp. His kids will all be little wimps, because he doesn't know, never learned himself, what it meant to be a man.

It's wonderful if you have parents that constrain you, young man, constrain you to work. Constrain you to be responsible. It's a lesson that you inevitably learn, how to be a man. You can't help it.

You may gripe, you may complain, you may say, "Make my brother do it." You may say, "I did that yesterday." You may say, "I did it right," and your daddy would say, "You didn't, go out and do it again," but it's making a man out of you. Employers are that way. That's the way an employer will do. If you go to working for somebody that's a contractor you'll do it right, and they'll say, "I don't like it. Tear it up and do it again. Repaint it; rebuild it." You'll have to do it to get your check.

Some of you may be blessed to have a daddy who makes you face responsibility, you girls the same way. Girls need to learn to work, too, and be responsible. Your mother will give you chores and jobs and teach you to do things that you just get tired of doing, and you feel that she's just using you.

Sometimes parents do use daughters. That's a wonderful thing to have them, that you can use them. It's a wonderful thing to have sons that get big enough where you can use them. You can't have two parents taking care of ten kids. The kids have to turn around and take care of the parents at some point.

That's a wonderful thing, but a lot of young men never had fathers who taught them to be men. Their fathers were passive, and loving, and gentle, and kind, and wussies. So the boy grows up to be dependent. Grows up to expect everybody to provide for him and meet his needs. He's a softy, he likes to play ball, he likes to get out and ride his bicycle, but he feels like he's being abused if you ask him to work.

[fiddle music]

Host:  We hope this has blessed you today, wherever you are. As always, remember to check out our special deals on books, CDs, and more on our website.