Filter by: Products Articles
Filter by:

Command Marries Go -To Gal: Preparing Session with Shalom Brand, from the Big Texas Shindig

By Shalom (Pearl) Brand



Shalom Brand:  [laughs] Command man marries go-to girl. You will have to learn to serve him, respect him, and honor him. Why did I say those things? Because as a go‑to, you are going to have your own ideas and your own plans. You're going to want to get your things done, and you're going to have to step back and realize that sometimes you might be wrong. Eve was the one deceived in the garden. We as women are soft, and sometimes we can be deceived.

You know, some wonderful person will come by and tell you something and you believe it and go to your husband, "This is the way it is and we're going to do it like this." And he's like, "No." [laughs]

You're just going to have to be willing to give over and serve him. Let me see, I think I had an example here. Alexis. Sorry, I use my girls. Alexis, come here. Her parents are command man and a go‑to. She is going to say how her mom handles it.

Alexis:  Well, to first give you a little bit of a picture of my dad, he's told us all from the very beginning—I have six siblings—he said, "Our house is not a democracy. It is a dictatorship. That's just how it's going to be." That's just the way my dad is. I love him, because he's awesome. Something that my mom struggled with is she has all these great ideas. She wants to do this, and she's got all this stuff mapped out. Then all of a sudden, Daddy will come in and be like "We're doing this." In the beginning of their marriage she would tell us, "Oh, yeah, that just didn't work out. It ended up in a pillow fight or something."


Alexis:  Now she's learned to just throw all of her energy, all of that go‑to girl energy, into really serving him. Just honoring him with everything that she says, everything that she does. That's one thing—whenever he asks anything of her, she tries to be that more servant personality and just serve him with her entire heart.

Shalom:  Her parents, we all love them. They moved to Tennessee a couple years ago and we love her parents. They're wonderful. And she does, she serves him. They always are smiling, and he is the happiest king. Obviously, he loves his queen and he loves his kids. All of the girls love their dad. Alexis loves to be home. She is . . . how old are you?

Alexis:  [inaudible 2:55]

Shalom:  Eighteen. She loves to be home. When it's time to go home and there's a bunch of people playing ball . . . "I got to go home! I got to eat supper with my family. We're going to do clean-up time." Her personality is a go-to girl, right? But she likes to be home.

Anyway, I wrote this: You are already his queen. You just have to show him that you are not out to take the throne. Just help him rule it. [laughs]

Be his queen; that's what you are. Be his servant. Be a minister to your kids. Serve your kids, love your kids, and help be the queen that you are.


Leave a Reply

4 comments on “Command Marries Go -To Gal: Preparing Session with Shalom Brand, from the Big Texas Shindig”

  1. I can honestly say that I think NGJ is an awesome ministry for whom I have the greatest respect, and try to make a habit of donating to each year. I think your child-raising advice is Biblical, wise, and invaluable.

    Having said that (you knew this was coming!), what is described above seems to bear some striking dissimilarities with Proverbs 31: a very active, "go-to" girl, who seems to take an awful lot of initiative compared with what is described here. What happened to the husband's heart "that doth safely trust in her?"

    I know that tone doesn't convey well in this medium, but I assure that my question is genuine and my spirit honest, as this is a very personal question for me. Why would you marry a "go-to" girl who has all of these ideas and initiative and then not trust her to act on them?

  2. Because she is not the leader. He is. He can't just sit back and let her take charge. That is not the order God designed. The marriage will not be all that it could be if she doesn't learn to submit herself and her ideas to his. He needs to be able to share his ideas and she needs to pour herself into those for him to be the king of his house or he will shrink back into a shell of a man and neither of them will be happy. A good king will listen to her ideas, consider them and they will pray for God's wisdom. Some of her ideas will work for their family and some will not. I have lots of ideas I would like our family to do and not do, but some of those ideas conflict with the responsiblities that my husband carries, that I am unaware of at times, so I have to step back and remember that my focus is on him and not all my big ideas. He is my first ministry. I am his helpmeet first and foremost, it is my job to help him accomplish what God has for him to do. It is then that his heart can safely trust in her and she will be able to get to those other things.

    1. I am a go to girl and it has taken me years to slowly submit to my man. He is definitely my commander and we struggled more in the beginning. He does listen to my ideas and a few times he has followed my plan. Guess what, every time he did follow, my plans turned out to be garbage and two of them we still pay for today. My husband is sweet and doesn't hold it over my head, he often talks like it is his fault to soften things. Since those bad decisions, God made it so clear that I need to shut my mouth and follow my man. You know what? He never stears me wrong, wish I had learned my lesson a long time ago.

Subscribe to our newsletter & stay updated