Debi Pearl: Hi, I'm Debi Pearl. This is Mike Pearl, my sweetheart. We have a question from a grandmother. We would like to answer it for you today. It says, "As a grandmother, I feel you will understand my concern that my older grandson, who is now seven‑years‑old, is foolish and silly."
"His parents are both sober and loving. I find it so strange that he acts so ridiculous, like a slobbering fool. For example, his sticks his tongue out and waves his fingers over it, making strange noises while sending saliva spewing then laughs as everyone tries to get away."
"He is a kind child and very loving, although he is lazy and already overweight. My gentle hearted and very steady son, the father to my grandchild, saw my repulsion at his boy's slobbering behavior. Just smiled and tried to reassure me by saying, 'He'll grow up in time.'"
"I can honestly say, out of my seven children, none ever acted with such a lack of dignity. Not at two‑years‑old and certainly not at seven. I only hope he will not influence the rest of the grandchildren coming on. What's a grandmother to do?"
Michael Pearl: Well... [laughter]
Michael: ...sometimes grandmothers can't do much because they don't have enough time to put in. It is something to be concerned about. I can see how embarrassing it would be for the grandmother. I think it should be embarrassing for the parents. It's lack of parental input. In other words, if you leave a child to himself, especially if he watches videos, or video games, or spends a lot of time with other small children that are acting like a fool. He may end up acting foolish.
Being with his daddy, being with mature people, being with adults, being engaged in serious conversation, all that's going to help him have a different image of himself.
Probably, he does that in order to get attention. In other words, it's his way of having people love him, like him, pay attention to him, even if it's negative response from people, it some kind of response. It makes him not feel so left out.
There's two things I would do. Number one, I would get involved with him, doing things positively constructed so that he has another world outside the slobbering idiot world.
The second thing I would do is when he does act like that be, negative about it. In other words, look at him like, "I can't believe you're doing that."
Debi Pearl: I think I would say to him, "You know, your daddy, was my little boy. Your daddy is such a fine man. Your daddy never, never did that when he was growing up." "He was far too wise to do a thing like that. I think maybe you should not do that any more, because it makes you look so foolish and silly." I think I would say that to the child.
Michael: If he gets, if people laugh at him or have an emotional response that recognizes his presence, he'll keep on doing it. You should shun that kind of response. Turn your back on it. Say something about it negative. Let him know that he's not going be loved. He's not going to be looked at. He's not going to be enjoyed when he's acting like that.
As soon as he acts normal, show attention, show affection, enjoy him, do things that he can participate with. You have a negative response to his negative actions. You have a positive response to his positive actions. He'll see that and he'll change.
You must be logged in to post a comment.
So many young boys acting the fool these days. It is a product of television/cartoons/lazy parenting. Many years ago an aunt had bought one of my boys a gameboy for 6th or 7th birthday. I limited it but let it go for a while because it was a gift. I watched as the electronic expirence was becoming more exciting than real life. One day I told him I loved him too much to let this go and did not want to curse another young boy by giving it away. I handed him a hammer and we went to the driveway. He smiled as he destroyed that vehicle of foolishness and thanked me afterwards. Best $20 hammer I ever bought.
Another thing to look at is not just nutrition, as nothing was mentioned about that, but flouridated water (you mentioned the overweight). Fluoride damages the thyroid gland and we have become a nation full of thyroid problems, and other hormonal upsets. Many plastics cause damage to the hormones- they have estrogens outgassing. Like shower curtains, especially new, any new plastic things. PET plastic juice and water bottles the nice clear ones that are tempting to reuse for other purposes, put out antimony, I was antimony toxic 2 years ago from the water bottles. I always have to ask, what are they feeding him? Deficiencies of basic nutrients can cause the brain to not work properly. B12, Omega 3's, vitamin E and magnesium for example.
Thank you for this. I have been waiting for this video response since about two months ago when I received your last magazine with the teaser question inside. I thought this was going to be about 'spheres of authority' and I (being a young mom) was anxious to hear you let grandma have it! Something like "well grandma, there is not much you can do at this point, this is up to his parents, that is why it is so important you raise them right the first time"
but your answer was much better. love the child, shun the behavior.
thank you again
So grateful for your wisdom as i raise my little ones. I learn so much from your ministry!