True love, today was the 15th wedding anniversary for me and my true love. You would think that after 15 years I would have some insight into what the meaning of true love really is. But this afternoon as we stepped onto the sail boat that would take us along Kauai’s Napali coast for a romantic dinner cruise the captain ask in passing “15 years! What’s the secret?” True love, I say to myself as I mumble out something polite to the captain while we shuffle past with all the other passengers. But all evening I think about that. What is the secret of true love?

Why is it that after 15 years when so many married couples cannot stand the sight of each other she can still make me catch my breath just by walking in the room? How is it that I can’t wait to get home every evening and hate to leave every morning? How does she keep me so wrapped up in her? As I pondered this over and over I remembered highlights of the times we have spent together. It is funny how it is the little things that come to mind seemed so far from romantic at the time and seem so significant as I recall the building of this love. Like the time that my 4 year old daughter woke us from a dead sleep by puking all over her bed at three in the morning and while we were cleaning up the mess we found ourselves flirting and laughing. So maybe that’s the secret, flirting over vomit while sleep deprived. No, I don’t think so either. Or the time she wrecked my car then busted out crying at the exact same time as I busted out laughing! No, that was just awkward. Our lives have not been perfect, and we have not been perfect, but our love has been perfect in its messy, unpredictable, crazy path.

So I guess I don’t know any secret way to make love perfect but maybe I know our secret. Us. We come first to each other. No matter how good or how bad life is going she is the one I want to talk to about it. She is my biggest fan and worst critic but at the end of the day I know she is on my side. Not just THE day but every day. She may not like where I am but she is right there with me. It is like there is no me and she there is only we. Us, one flesh, one team and we will win or we will die trying together, and then be buried side by side. Which for us is kind of like winning! It is immersed in that fierce, inseparable companionship that I find true love, MY true love, my heart of hearts, the love of my life, my wife.
I love you babe!