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True Confessions of a Bed-Wetter

February 15, 1996

Many of you have written us about the problem of your older children wetting their beds. Through our extensive social outreach we have persuaded one of these tormented souls to go public with her confession. You will read in her very own words the chronicle of her bitter struggle to rise above domestic shame and a wet mattress.

“When I was growing up I wet on the bed. I hated wetting on the bed and would have done anything to be able to stop. I played hard and I slept hard. I simply could not wake up! No amount of medication, discipline, or shaming could change my personality. Today, I still run the day’s course like the road runner himself. At night I sleep like the dead. Thankfully, when I was nine years old, my bladder finally learned to adjust.

“My mom was a very practical woman. Every night she simply provided me with an old towel to stuff in my under pants, and brought clean sheets every morning. The heavy-duty rubber cover protected the mattress, while my mother protected our secret.

“To my shame, I never could spend the night away or go to camp without dread of wetting the bed.

“But mom—bless her heart—never added to my shame. She made it as easy as possible on me until nature allowed relief.

“To the many hundreds of moms who have written, I just want to say, ‘Relax,’ teach your bed-wetting children to privately put on a towel or diaper at night. Remind them to go to the bathroom, but don’t make an issue of it. They hate their problem more than you do. They are the ones who wake up cold, wet, smelly, and embarrassed.

“Just like some kids learn to walk late, others need time to grow out of this problem. Remember, someday your child may grow up and write an article on bed-wetting, or co-author a book on child training; so make sure you leave a good impression.”

This has been the confession of Debi Pearl. I do feel better now.

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47 comments on “True Confessions of a Bed-Wetter”

  1. I cannot tell you how reading this article blessed me. I have seen so many positions taken on this issue but none have rung in my heart like what you have said here.

    I am one who wet the bed until a late age. It was a frustrating battle to fight. I wanted to quit but I couldn’t.

    My mom, bless her heart was dealing with two bed wetters and transferred the issues from my sister onto my situation. The issues were not the same.

    All I can say is that your approach is the right one. It hasn’t been till recently, at the age of 25, that I have been able to identify the issues that made me the bed wetter that I was. We had a broken home and I missed my daddy. I was an extremely insecure child also. It makes me wonder what an hour of being held before I went to bed would have done for my problem.

    If your child wets the bed, I can tell you from my personal experience, they need more support, not less.

    I grew out of it. They will too.

    Thank you again for posting this.

  2. I cannot tell you how reading this article blessed me. I have seen so many positions taken on this issue but none have rung in my heart like what you have said here.

    I am one who wet the bed until a late age. It was a frustrating battle to fight. I wanted to quit but I couldn’t.

    My mom, bless her heart was dealing with two bed wetters and transferred the issues from my sister onto my situation. The issues were not the same.

    All I can say is that your approach is the right one. It hasn’t been till recently, at the age of 25, that I have been able to identify the issues that made me the bed wetter that I was. We had a broken home and I missed my daddy. I was an extremely insecure child also. It makes me wonder what an hour of being held before I went to bed would have done for my problem.

    If your child wets the bed, I can tell you from my personal experience, they need more support, not less.

    I grew out of it. They will too.

    Thank you again for posting this.

  3. I just have put in a plug for bedwetting alarms. I used one for my son and it did exactly as it said; it trained him to wake up when he was just starting to wet, and he was able to recognize in his sleep when his bladder was starting to empty and control it. It worked in less than 4 weeks, although it can take up to 12.

  4. I just have put in a plug for bedwetting alarms. I used one for my son and it did exactly as it said; it trained him to wake up when he was just starting to wet, and he was able to recognize in his sleep when his bladder was starting to empty and control it. It worked in less than 4 weeks, although it can take up to 12.

  5. My toddler was well potty trained by 9 months old and did not wet the bed at all. During a time when we were between house and apartment and staying with my parents, my mother made me give her a sippy to go to bed with until she adjusted to sleeping at their house. Against my better judgement I did this to keep the peace because she couldn’t tolerate a little fussing before bed. (Babies know when grandma is weak). Anyway, She has been wetting the bed since. She sleeps so deep she don’t even wake up when saturated to the hair in her own urine.

    After reading “To train up a child” I have decided to get back on the good parent wagon and took away the sipee and started curving those bedtime tantrums. She has gone 4 days now without an accident at night. It is mainly to do with lack of liquids 2 hrs before bedtime. I do not spank her for getting up at 3 am to go potty or even 6 am because she isn’t tired anymore. I don’t believe in lazy parents so I get up when she does or before. 🙂 Thanks Pearl for an excellent book. To anyone with a bedwetter, check the cause, be it terrified to use the bathroom at night, can’t hold it til morning, or just to lazy to get up and go. Make sure it is not a medical condition as well.

  6. My toddler was well potty trained by 9 months old and did not wet the bed at all. During a time when we were between house and apartment and staying with my parents, my mother made me give her a sippy to go to bed with until she adjusted to sleeping at their house. Against my better judgement I did this to keep the peace because she couldn’t tolerate a little fussing before bed. (Babies know when grandma is weak). Anyway, She has been wetting the bed since. She sleeps so deep she don’t even wake up when saturated to the hair in her own urine.

    After reading “To train up a child” I have decided to get back on the good parent wagon and took away the sipee and started curving those bedtime tantrums. She has gone 4 days now without an accident at night. It is mainly to do with lack of liquids 2 hrs before bedtime. I do not spank her for getting up at 3 am to go potty or even 6 am because she isn’t tired anymore. I don’t believe in lazy parents so I get up when she does or before. 🙂 Thanks Pearl for an excellent book. To anyone with a bedwetter, check the cause, be it terrified to use the bathroom at night, can’t hold it til morning, or just to lazy to get up and go. Make sure it is not a medical condition as well.

  7. I was a bedwetter, whom was shamed for this. I was screamed at, made to wash out my sheets before going to school, hit & threatened. I could not do sleep overs. Iam now 51yrsold & still deal w/ the shame of my childhood. I stopped wetting at the age of 12, got into alcohol & drugs to numb my pain. Please don’t ever scould your child for this problem. It will affect the rest of their life.

  8. I was a bedwetter, whom was shamed for this. I was screamed at, made to wash out my sheets before going to school, hit & threatened. I could not do sleep overs. Iam now 51yrsold & still deal w/ the shame of my childhood. I stopped wetting at the age of 12, got into alcohol & drugs to numb my pain. Please don’t ever scould your child for this problem. It will affect the rest of their life.

  9. I wet the bed until I was 8 and nothing helped… I just grew out of it.
    My 4 & 6 year old sons wet and wear pull ups to contain the mess. I learned a chiropractor can help and we began visiting weekly. In 2 months worth of weekly adjustments, my 4 year old no longer wets and my 6 year old has greatly decreased in volume. They had both been saturating through the pull ups.

    My chiropractor explained that their low spine was out of alignment and the weekly adjustments correct it and gradually their spine learns to hold the position. Bed wetting can be resolved through chiropractic realignment.

  10. I wet the bed until I was 8 and nothing helped… I just grew out of it.
    My 4 & 6 year old sons wet and wear pull ups to contain the mess. I learned a chiropractor can help and we began visiting weekly. In 2 months worth of weekly adjustments, my 4 year old no longer wets and my 6 year old has greatly decreased in volume. They had both been saturating through the pull ups.

    My chiropractor explained that their low spine was out of alignment and the weekly adjustments correct it and gradually their spine learns to hold the position. Bed wetting can be resolved through chiropractic realignment.

  11. I actually have a question more than a comment. I have heard that causticum is suppose to help with bed wetting. Does anyone know if it works? I’m planning on trying it with my 8yr old, but haven’t yet. Of coarse if she’s like Debbie she only has a few more months. 😉

  12. I actually have a question more than a comment. I have heard that causticum is suppose to help with bed wetting. Does anyone know if it works? I’m planning on trying it with my 8yr old, but haven’t yet. Of coarse if she’s like Debbie she only has a few more months. 😉

  13. I am the mother of nine and of this number, I have had six bed wetters past the age of 7. My eldest is now 26 years of age. Some of them were in their teens before they overcame this obstacle.

    Shortly before I got married, my then husband to be told me that he still had an issue with bed wetting and had lived with the humiliation of this fact for nearly 20 years. He, too, had been wakened several times in the night to avoid having an “accident” to no avail. The only thing he got from it was a sleepless night and the torment of “dealing with the issue” come morning such as scrubbing the sheets in the tub before breakfast. When we had children, before it was discovered that there may be bed wetting issues in our home, my husband told me that none of our children would be shamed for having this problem. We were going to do everything we could possibly do and love them through it. On the other hand, none of the children were allowed to ignore the consequences of this by failing to keep themselves clean and the bedding removed and put to be laundered. We felt that even though the problem was not a fault, it was still none the less an issue of which they needed to assume ownership. They were required to take care of themselves (to the best of their ability) and their surroundings so that no one could discover their secret by neglect. I purchased “pull up” type underpants to help them get the rest that they needed plus made sure their bedding was kept clean and plastic sheeting kept on the mattress. Not once was a child scolded or punished for wetting the bed but on more than one occasion, discipline was necessary to remind them of their responsibility to clean up. God has helped most of them to out grow the issue and today they are confident children and adults because we chided for the neglect of obvious responsibilities and not for the physical issue they had.

  14. I am the mother of nine and of this number, I have had six bed wetters past the age of 7. My eldest is now 26 years of age. Some of them were in their teens before they overcame this obstacle.

    Shortly before I got married, my then husband to be told me that he still had an issue with bed wetting and had lived with the humiliation of this fact for nearly 20 years. He, too, had been wakened several times in the night to avoid having an “accident” to no avail. The only thing he got from it was a sleepless night and the torment of “dealing with the issue” come morning such as scrubbing the sheets in the tub before breakfast. When we had children, before it was discovered that there may be bed wetting issues in our home, my husband told me that none of our children would be shamed for having this problem. We were going to do everything we could possibly do and love them through it. On the other hand, none of the children were allowed to ignore the consequences of this by failing to keep themselves clean and the bedding removed and put to be laundered. We felt that even though the problem was not a fault, it was still none the less an issue of which they needed to assume ownership. They were required to take care of themselves (to the best of their ability) and their surroundings so that no one could discover their secret by neglect. I purchased “pull up” type underpants to help them get the rest that they needed plus made sure their bedding was kept clean and plastic sheeting kept on the mattress. Not once was a child scolded or punished for wetting the bed but on more than one occasion, discipline was necessary to remind them of their responsibility to clean up. God has helped most of them to out grow the issue and today they are confident children and adults because we chided for the neglect of obvious responsibilities and not for the physical issue they had.

    1. Please contact Jeffrey S. Palmer, MD, of Ohio, a world renowned pediatric urologist and surgeon. He can also help adults and has helped me as well, by accident as I sympathetically went on our son’s new restricted diet. Many things we eat/drink can irritate the bladder. I never even did the exercises our son has to do. I had half a dozen very irritating, embarrassing disorders that the diet alone cured, proven by me going back on the sugar & foods & missed, then back to his diet. I used to be a bed wetter, and it started happening again over 2 years ago plus quite a few other related digestive issues, most worrisome, that pre-diabetic warning smell of urine. The diet fixed that. I got overweight too 5 years ago, all of a sudden 30 pounds in 3 months. I just can’t handle sugar like I used to (& never should have). Also, sugar is highly responsible for our body pulling calcium out of our bones and teeth to cope with the sugar overload. No wonder I had so many cavities as a girl, and wet the bed. It has more to do with diet than brushing. “Cure Tooth Decay” book. Even a habit of holding our pee too long can irritate the bladder. I have a chart for our son to check off, to remember to pee before he feels like it, and other doctor’s orders to remember. Very fast cure with this diet/exercise method. No night-time alarms either. Now I realize what caused our never bed wetting oldest, to totally wet herself IN SCHOOL in front of everyone in the 4th grade (last year before we started homeschooling.) She wasn’t ill either, it was probably something she ate, maybe combined with holding it too long she admitted, plus the stress of her two best friends fighting over her the WORST that year. So glad homeschooling ended that drama.

  15. My daughter is now 9 years old and wets the bed every night (if we do not get her up.) Up until she was about 6, she was still having “accidents” in the day as well. I tried a chiropractor, but it didn’t help. Between the ages of 4 and 6, she began having chronic bladder infections. (Every couple of months, she would have a fever of 104.00 – I would take her to the doctor and sure enough it would be a infection.) I knew that the continual antibiotics weren’t good for her, but didnt know what to do about it. I finally found a good urologist who knew what the problem was right away! She had a simple outpatient surgery. Thankfully, the infections have stopped as well as the daytime wetting. The night time wetting is still a problem…but I have figured out ways to deal with it. First, I make sure she uses the bathroom right before bed. Then, I get her up every night at the same time (2:30 am). It only takes a few minutes and most of the time she dosent even remember it in the morning. Also, I purchased some thick washable bed pads. I just layer her bedding. (You may want to use a plastic sheet over the mattress for extra protection.) Then I put a bed pad with a fitted sheet on top, and then another pad with a fitted sheet on top of that. (If you have a heavy wetter, you may want to layer with two pads.) By doing this, if she has had an accident before I get her up, I can just peel off the top layer and throw them in the washer, and the second layer is ready for her to go right back to bed on. I know eventually she will grow out of it. In the meantime, I will just keep “layering” and be patient.

  16. My daughter is now 9 years old and wets the bed every night (if we do not get her up.) Up until she was about 6, she was still having “accidents” in the day as well. I tried a chiropractor, but it didn’t help. Between the ages of 4 and 6, she began having chronic bladder infections. (Every couple of months, she would have a fever of 104.00 – I would take her to the doctor and sure enough it would be a infection.) I knew that the continual antibiotics weren’t good for her, but didnt know what to do about it. I finally found a good urologist who knew what the problem was right away! She had a simple outpatient surgery. Thankfully, the infections have stopped as well as the daytime wetting. The night time wetting is still a problem…but I have figured out ways to deal with it. First, I make sure she uses the bathroom right before bed. Then, I get her up every night at the same time (2:30 am). It only takes a few minutes and most of the time she dosent even remember it in the morning. Also, I purchased some thick washable bed pads. I just layer her bedding. (You may want to use a plastic sheet over the mattress for extra protection.) Then I put a bed pad with a fitted sheet on top, and then another pad with a fitted sheet on top of that. (If you have a heavy wetter, you may want to layer with two pads.) By doing this, if she has had an accident before I get her up, I can just peel off the top layer and throw them in the washer, and the second layer is ready for her to go right back to bed on. I know eventually she will grow out of it. In the meantime, I will just keep “layering” and be patient.

  17. Bedwetting can also be caused by bacterial imbalance in the bladder and urethra…the tissue gets inflamed from bad bacteria and must expel the urine before the person has a chance to wake. Bedwetting is becoming more common, even for adults, just as imbalance of flora in the gut is more common. This can be helped with diet, probiotic foods, and, applying kefir to the groin area daily. For more info look up the GAPS diet.

  18. Bedwetting can also be caused by bacterial imbalance in the bladder and urethra…the tissue gets inflamed from bad bacteria and must expel the urine before the person has a chance to wake. Bedwetting is becoming more common, even for adults, just as imbalance of flora in the gut is more common. This can be helped with diet, probiotic foods, and, applying kefir to the groin area daily. For more info look up the GAPS diet.

  19. I have a brother-in-law who is 8. He wets the bed, sometimes 3 times a night. His main problem is soy…he is allergic and that’s how his body reacts. Soy is in just about everything and fed to even well cared for, organically fed animals, so its very hard to avoid or even no for sure what contains it. If you have a bed wetter, you may want to consider that it could be an allergic reaction.

  20. I have a brother-in-law who is 8. He wets the bed, sometimes 3 times a night. His main problem is soy…he is allergic and that’s how his body reacts. Soy is in just about everything and fed to even well cared for, organically fed animals, so its very hard to avoid or even no for sure what contains it. If you have a bed wetter, you may want to consider that it could be an allergic reaction.

  21. Bedwetting can also be caused by severe trauma. My mother died when I was 10 and suddenly I found myself wetting the bed frequently, when I had been dry at night since four or five. If something happens to your child that is very upsetting, please be on the lookout for possible bedwetting to occur. Also, if a previously dry child starts wetting suddenly, there could very well be a traumatic cause you are unaware of – bullying, perhaps. If it is a severe enough trauma that bedwetting is a symptom, your child will probably need some professional help. (Parental understanding and love goes without saying!)

  22. Bedwetting can also be caused by severe trauma. My mother died when I was 10 and suddenly I found myself wetting the bed frequently, when I had been dry at night since four or five. If something happens to your child that is very upsetting, please be on the lookout for possible bedwetting to occur. Also, if a previously dry child starts wetting suddenly, there could very well be a traumatic cause you are unaware of – bullying, perhaps. If it is a severe enough trauma that bedwetting is a symptom, your child will probably need some professional help. (Parental understanding and love goes without saying!)

  23. I think this was briefly mentioned but thought it worth repeating.
    Let me first point out that not all chiropractors are “created equal” and mine who are wonderful are the first to point this out so references for well qualified Drs would be necessary. While not the case for all children but certainly a strong possibility for those in healthy homes and particularly those multi-generational bed wetters it may be a physiological issue easily solved with a few chiropractor visits. I have sent several families to our chiropractor who helped children discretely and quickly with this issue. It was not even necessary for the particularly embarrassed children to know what they were being treated for, in terms of saving them the embarrassment of them knowing the Dr was aware of the situation. Every family I have referred to our chiropractor has called to thank me. These children ranging in age from 5 to 15. One family that called me had “tried everything” including herbal supplements and the electronic device at night with no success until the chiropractor.
    My youngest daughter had the opposite issue. She experienced frequent and severe bladder infections. Nothing in our diet or habits seemed to cause or help her problem and the Dr.’s had no advice for me. When I first took her to the chiropractor (not for the infections but because we were impressed with thr Dr and making the entire family her patients) I forgot to mention this problem as it had been months since the last incident. The chiropractor examined her and asked me if she suffered infections frequently, something she suspected because of the tilt of her bladder. I replied positively so she adjusted my daughter who wet the bed the next morning. Her entire life she never went to the bathroom until having been up for a couple of hours. It only took her a couple of mornings to learn her body’s new pattern and she has not had a painful bladder infection since that one adjustment.
    Maybe not the solution for all but certainly if a reputable chiropractor is available in the community this would certainly be a valuable resource for the child suffering.

  24. I think this was briefly mentioned but thought it worth repeating.
    Let me first point out that not all chiropractors are “created equal” and mine who are wonderful are the first to point this out so references for well qualified Drs would be necessary. While not the case for all children but certainly a strong possibility for those in healthy homes and particularly those multi-generational bed wetters it may be a physiological issue easily solved with a few chiropractor visits. I have sent several families to our chiropractor who helped children discretely and quickly with this issue. It was not even necessary for the particularly embarrassed children to know what they were being treated for, in terms of saving them the embarrassment of them knowing the Dr was aware of the situation. Every family I have referred to our chiropractor has called to thank me. These children ranging in age from 5 to 15. One family that called me had “tried everything” including herbal supplements and the electronic device at night with no success until the chiropractor.
    My youngest daughter had the opposite issue. She experienced frequent and severe bladder infections. Nothing in our diet or habits seemed to cause or help her problem and the Dr.’s had no advice for me. When I first took her to the chiropractor (not for the infections but because we were impressed with thr Dr and making the entire family her patients) I forgot to mention this problem as it had been months since the last incident. The chiropractor examined her and asked me if she suffered infections frequently, something she suspected because of the tilt of her bladder. I replied positively so she adjusted my daughter who wet the bed the next morning. Her entire life she never went to the bathroom until having been up for a couple of hours. It only took her a couple of mornings to learn her body’s new pattern and she has not had a painful bladder infection since that one adjustment.
    Maybe not the solution for all but certainly if a reputable chiropractor is available in the community this would certainly be a valuable resource for the child suffering.

  25. yea, I highly doubt she is this kind, and gentle with her kids if they wet the bed. They train the kids to be potty trained before they are well and ready. You are responsible for how you train your children, God will see how you handled his blessings here on earth. Punitive, graceless parenting is not something of God. You didn’t always obey, and he didn’t kill you. His loving kindness leads to repentance.

  26. yea, I highly doubt she is this kind, and gentle with her kids if they wet the bed. They train the kids to be potty trained before they are well and ready. You are responsible for how you train your children, God will see how you handled his blessings here on earth. Punitive, graceless parenting is not something of God. You didn’t always obey, and he didn’t kill you. His loving kindness leads to repentance.

  27. Ok I came from a split family and I wet the bed til I was 10. I lived with my dad and stepmom. I was made to sleep in the basement and forced to wash my sheets by hand in scalding hot water. Then I went to live with my mom. The first thing she did was to tackle this problem… she put me in loose fitting clothes no underwear with tight elastic a nightgown instead of pj bottoms that always had elastic. Then to help me I went to bed at 8 pm mom would wake me before she went to bed and take me to the bathroom. Oh and to let you know mom was so sure this would work that she let me sleep with her. i never wet the bed again and for 2 or 3 months mom never failed to wake me. I since have raised 3 children 2 boys and 1 girl and they were all trained the same way… with loving arms and a plan that was worth the fight. Thank you so much mom I am so lucky you came along. I hope someone reads this and understands that punishment doesn’t always work sometimes a loittle planning and a loving does work… Thank you again Mom I love you.

  28. Ok I came from a split family and I wet the bed til I was 10. I lived with my dad and stepmom. I was made to sleep in the basement and forced to wash my sheets by hand in scalding hot water. Then I went to live with my mom. The first thing she did was to tackle this problem… she put me in loose fitting clothes no underwear with tight elastic a nightgown instead of pj bottoms that always had elastic. Then to help me I went to bed at 8 pm mom would wake me before she went to bed and take me to the bathroom. Oh and to let you know mom was so sure this would work that she let me sleep with her. i never wet the bed again and for 2 or 3 months mom never failed to wake me. I since have raised 3 children 2 boys and 1 girl and they were all trained the same way… with loving arms and a plan that was worth the fight. Thank you so much mom I am so lucky you came along. I hope someone reads this and understands that punishment doesn’t always work sometimes a loittle planning and a loving does work… Thank you again Mom I love you.

  29. There were 3 bedwetters in our house when we were growing up. Brother, sister and myself. Mom & Dad never shamed, scolded or punished because of our bedwetting. It was explained quietly and patiently to us that bedwetting was not our fault and that we had no control over it. The 3 of us did wear diapers to bed (cloth with plastic pants) to insure a good nights sleep. We did outgrow it by age of 9 or 10. We were fine with the fact.

  30. I’ve always suffered from this problem. My parents tried medication, shaming me, supporting me and then they just accepted it. I feel that adults who actually do still suffer this are largely ignored. I ended up writing a book about myself in the hopes to spark conversation and, hopefully, more research.

  31. My brother (5) wets his bed ON PURPOSE every single night (there’s been only one night in the past week that he has not wet his bed) and sometimes it seems he does it as soon as everybody is in bed. He started it after he got sick with a flu (in fact everybody in my home got sick and for a week my dad was the sickest) and two weeks ago we were really excited over the fact that Mom might be pregnant and he started behaving royally bad (may I add that he is a narcissist). What should be done with him? Should we try making him clean it? Or should we just quietly clean it up every morning until he decides that it isn’t worth it. By the way, he isn’t ashamed of anything he does (except one time when he wet his pants while Mom was walking him to the store and she decided to take him in anyway and the cashier noticed his wet pants). Also my grandmother is staying with us and she is trying to undo pretty much every training attempt we make and due to the situation that brought her we can’t have her out of our home, or even taking a walk outside without the whole family which can only happen on weekends and evenings, and even then we go for walks only about twice a week.

  32. My son has been bedwetting ever since he got sick with a flu virus (not H1N1). He had in the past used pooping in his pants as a means of getting at us when he was mad and if we were going to go somewhere “fun” or do something. he would hold on to his urine–I presume because it would be a “delay” in his “fun”. We trained him out of that, but…

    But now that he has been sick, AND he had heard about the possibility that I might be pregnant, he has been wetting his bed EVERY NIGHT, and we wonder if it is on purpose because it came after hearing about whether I am expecting or I am in menopause (I am in my 40s).
    Does anyone have any suggestions?

  33. I note that some of you have mentioned vaginal or urinary tract infections and rashes and I think the following can help:

    My daughter had similar problems as a baby and toddler and had terrible rashes and stomach problems (and my son, born much later, also had terrible rashes) and vaginal urinary tract infections and we were told the following by our doctor:

    1. Many babies are ALLERGIC to products made even exclusively for babies (including Baby Magic Bath and “no tears” formula baby shampoos). Our kids had no trouble with baby wipes, but got TERRIBLE rashes if they were washed with any BESIDES IVORY soap, plain even cheap shampoo with no weird or special fragrances (that we made certain were totally washed out of the hair–the doctor said most kids get a rash if the shampoo is not washed out), and hypoallergenic products (my doctor recommended hypoallergenic and IVORY for our first one).

    So if your kid has this problem: Hypoallergenic, plain soap (even for the hair, if necessary) and make sure no residue remains.

    2, Most young children, ESPECIALLY GIRLS, will get rashes and internal infections if they play for over 10 minutes in a bathtub with soapy water of any kind, including bath bubbles and soap crayons, and over 20 minutes in bath water that has nothing in but the child’s dirt. The doctor recommended showering the child first, then rinse out the tub, fill it up again with plain water, and put them in for a short special play time with only clean bath toys–not bubbles or anything else. On the other hand, she also stated that kids who rash out (for reasons OTHER than eczema) should be bathed even more than once a day in the summer to prevent sweat from staying on the skin for long periods, and to pay special attention to the private areas to make sure that any residue from bathroom business doesn’t stick around too long either.

    So have the kid wash up, make sure the child and the tub are rinsed free of soap, and then have a special bathtub play time with cleaner fresh water and clean toys and not for too long for the girls, especially.

    3. Dreft gets the smells out of the laundry, make you don’t use too much or too little of it. If your kids still get rashes where the clothes sit, consult your doctor. Tide is also good, refrain from special bleaches and special laundry treatments and soaps, especially the smelly ones.
    AND STOP USING ALL KINDS OF FABRIC SOFTENER!!! Good smells ARE NOT WORTH YOUR KID’S DISCOMFORT!
    Fabric softener serves no purpose but to make things smell nice and help with static, there are other ways to deal with static

    4. It SHOULD go without saying, that if your kids have allergies DON”T use air freshener of ANY KIND, carpet freshener, plug ins, certain hair sprays and laundry treatments and starches, or anything that goes into the air that irritates them in any way. If your house and clothes and the family bathes and is clean, you or the place won’t smell too much. Hair sprays are not worth it either, use a pump at least. Make sure all your soaps are unscented, your deodorants, hair treatments, laundry treatments, and so on. Mothers often build up allergies for their kids by going crazy for potpourris, scents, bubble baths, perfumes and other crazy things. Lots of people are allergic to fabreeze and glade plug ins, Show love and have mercy on them!

    5. Sorry, ladies, but you may have to refrain from bringing flowers into the house. My whole family DIES around lilacs and dandelions. My poor husband can’t even tolerate a lilac bush around someone’s house.

    6. DOUBLE goes for your daughters wearing perfume or makeup or boys wearing cologne. Some can’t even handle deoderant or aftershave. YOUR perfume may also cause a problem. Find something that doesn’t or show love and eschew it. Same goes for scented hand lotion.

    If rashes EVER OCCUR around the stomach especially in a band, that is a FOOD ALLERGY and must be dealt with–take it out of the diet right away (my daughter is allergic to “ready made” cookies you just put on a tray and bake, also silver ball cookie decos, and certain blue food colorings). Also if the child immediately vomits within 20 minutes after eating it, or develops a brownish looking tongue, looks sick and starts burping (I get this with the fake sweetener SORBITOL) OR gets very painful gas and diarrhea stop giving it to them (I get this with lactose and Olestra, my husband gets it with Nutrasweet and lactose). Our daughter had this trouble with apple juice, high fructose foods, corn syrup, fruit roll ups, fruit candy snacks, and just about all hard candy except hoarhound, peppermint, and butterscotch. We just started making all food from scratch and watching what was in holiday sweets. It’s vigilant and takes energy, but making your own stuff is FUN and “tie strings” (in reference to the pearls).

    The gas, burping and diarrhea are NOT ALLERGY but a FOOD INTOLERANCE, so you don’t need to remove milk for a lactose intoleranc–like I do, you just need to treat the milk 24 hrs in advance with pulverized lactaid tablets (three works great) or the lactaid drops or take tablets according to the directions and DON’T overeat the milk products afterward. The stomach rashes and immediate violent vomiting are allergy and that food must be removed from the diet. In our case, switching to home made sweets and staying away from fake premade sweet stuff, yes, even candy, made all the difference in the world–and we switched to orange juice, cranberry juice, and 100% grape and pomegranite juice and stayed away from the others. We now also drink more water, milk, tea, weak coffee (my husband and I, not the kids), and occasionally for a treat, coconut milk. NO SODA. I can only stand ONE soda, the rest of my family CAN’T. You’re better off without it.

    and for bladder infections, we found that before going to the doctor, offering the kid as much pure cranberry juice as they want often clears it up in two or three days plus a once daily vitamin C tablet. Make sure they are eating the proper amount of fruits and veggies (and using the toilet as least once every 2-3 hours–sometimes it’s caused by HOLDING IT! My son got several of these because he found “using the toilet too much”-yeah right–meaning every 2-3 hours a “bother”–boys can get bad bladder infections too if they hold it).

    for vaginal infection, over the counter vagisil, pure juice, Vitamin C and a little cider vinegar works great. Cider vinegar and cranberry juice (given often) cause little kids to pee, and that’s what you want. Don’t be tempted to use coffee unless the others are not working and they have it bad, or you will produce a caffeine addict and it can make them sick to the stomach.

    For mild stomach indigestion real cultured yogurt and a little brewers yeast in applesauce now and then is wonderful.

    DON”T give yogurt for lactose produced discomfort though (AND ESPECIALLY NOT acidophilous tablets–it grows the gas producing bacteria MORE–my mother did this without checking out the facts and I ended up really sick), a little hot tea when the person can stand it, diarrhea medicine for the diarrhea, a hot sitz bath in the tub for about 20 minutes at a time will reduced the gas causing bacteria and TIME is all that works.

    For stomach rash and immediate vomiting, identify all the foods eaten and call a doctor immediately if the rash spreads rapidly and call 911 if trouble with breathing is present.

  34. A childs bedwetting is difficult for all involved. In our house after all the proper medical checks showed nothing wrong then the discussion turned to night time protection. After trying a lot of different disposable and cloth products the regular use of cloth diapers and plastic pants was settled on. They were worn nightly for 5 years, ages 5 – 10 when the wetting stopped. The wearer was very confortable with these and only on rare occasion was there any leaking or wicking. There is a learning curve involved with this as a childs bedwetting is seldom the same for 2 kids, parents should know this and be prepared to deal with it. As the child got older they were able to deal with putting on the nightly protection themselves. Hoping that this may help someone.

  35. Until I was 12 or 13 I was THE bedwetter ( every night) in our family and my mum was really cool about it….she tried all the usual tricks like star charts and a buzzer but it just kept happening. Every morning she would give me a hug and Thanked God for Life as we dealt with the wet mess. I had friends who were also bedwetters but very soon they were all dry and it was only me….and that was sad.But at least the two or 3 I remained friends with understood, and one became a great sleepover friend …her mum was a nurse which helped too; she understood. Consistently dry took a while but eventually by mid teens I had had a full year “dry” and I could take off my mattress protector.
    Now it is my mum who suffers the indignity of incontinence and I take care of her.

  36. Finally desperate to help our 9+ son stop wetting the bed up to 5 nights a week, I took him to a world renowned pediatric urologist. He put our son on a diet of no sugar, no sugary fruits like melons/pineapple, no citrus or citric acid, no dairy after 3 pm, and no food/water within 2 hours of bedtime, and an exercise program of potty 6+ times a day including 5 min after each time, (no delay in going once the urge comes, the goal being to head off the felt need before it happens), and 3-4 sets of 10 potty muscle squeezes, staring with a Wee Wee Wii computer game at their office, then 2 months later at home only. We are down to 3 times in a month, probably our fault for deviating from the cure plan.

    A bonus, I felt bad for him to give up sugar & citrus & melons too, so I did too, and got rid of several very annoying and scary health problems I’ve suffered with for YEARS, one of which was a symptom of getting type II diabetes very soon. The others are too embarrassing to mention. I can sleep through the night far more often now too! And I never did the exercises, just diet changes. After awhile, I missed chocolates & sugar & oranges, so put that back in my diet, then got the problems back quickly, so I’m back on his diet again. I never knew how irritating certain things were to the bladder. I wish my mom had known this when I was little. We just waited it out. But our son was 9, and no slowing down of accidents in sight. I could have taken him to this doctor at 3 years old and cured it then.

    Please pass on this info about bedwetting. One mom who brought her son in for an appointment about something else, casually mentioned her need to pee 20 times a day, and the doc helped her be normal for the first time in her life!! Happy tears!!! Yay for Jeffrey S. Palmer MD, Ohio

  37. Thank you:) I was a bed wetter, as was my father before me, and went through so many training efforts on behalf of my poor mom and grandmother!! Excruciating underpants for “protecting” the bed, panty alarms (oh the horror!), no liquids for hours before bedtime, etc. Oh how many times I remember being sent to the toilet to pee only to fall asleep on the toilet and fall off!:))) Nothing “cured” me and not to go into any psychological hoo ha but I lived in such dread of camp, sleepovers, and just bedtime in general.

    Now my son (8), the firstborn, is struggling as well. My husband has no patience and views it as a deliberate laziness on my sons part for which he constantly berates him:( I’ve related my history to him and explained that he would grow out of it but it doesn’t seem to matter:( Apparently, it is very hard for a non-bed wetter to grasp the helpless frustration and embarrassment. My son carries such a load of responsibility anyway as a result of his personality, I hate that he is made to feel he must “fix this” to please a parent.

    Again, thank you. Maybe I can show your article to my husband and it will carry more weight with him!

    1. Hi Kelly, that was the same situation here, we thought it was our son being lazy, and in part it was, but not all. He had a muscle problem that could only be fixed with guidance from a urologist. Then timing of potty & drinks, plus special exercises could work to manage his weakness that he’ll have his whole life, like me. I regret the delay in getting him to the doctor. He was 9 by the time we realized it was more than laziness or too much liquid in the evening. It’s true that a child can usually outgrow wetting, but big surprise, it can come back as an adult and not that old either, like 40s, either waking up at night to pee, or actual wetting the bed or tinkling a little during the day. I don’t believe anyone fully outgrows bed wetting. Night time need to pee is a problem for most adults, I hear, whether they used to wet the bed as a child or not.

  38. We also take our eight year old son to the chiropractor when he wets the bed. When he is out of alignment he starts wetting. After a chiropractor adjustment he wakes up dry!!

  39. Our son’s urologist found that infrequent & incomplete pottying from weak bladder control muscles were to blame for his wetting day & night. Holding it too long stresses the muscles, making them irritable. Sugar and certain foods were suspected irritants, but it all turned out to be muscle strength needs & potty & drink timing. 6-8 times of kegel exercises/peeing a day worked. Adults who wake up at night to potty can benefit from this solution. The doc used a silly computer game with sensors attached to his behind muscles to help him learn to control the potty muscles to strengthen them (using his muscles or relaxing allowed control of fish in the ocean going up or down), and it was discontinued when he learned enough to do exercises without it. The doc used this child’s computer game on a mom too who had a problem of needing to pee 20+ times a day and healed her to be able to go a normal number of times a day.

  40. Wow! I wish I had some of the love and understanding of the parents here who work with their children. As a kid, no matter what I did I would wet the bed two or three times a week. My mother would scream and say the meanest things to me, including the threat of castration. ((She didn’t use the “c” word then, but explained it to me as a five year old potential consequences.)) I remember to this day (I am over sixty!) sitting in a cold bathtub, being screamed at. My two older siblings and younger one not only enjoyed my torment, they actually joined in. Even though I dried up by the time I was thirteen, it was not until years later I found out my problem was I was a very heavy sleeper! I would actually sleep walk sometimes as a kid, but unfortunately never slept walk to the bathroom in time.
    I only add my comments here as a warning to parents. At least in cases like mine, children do not want to sleep in a wet bed. They are already miserable, and if they learn to hide it from you, they are also learning how to keep other things from you as well. I would get up in the middle of the night and wash my bedding, but since we did not have a dryer, I would sleep on the wet sheets in a cold room, hoping my body heat would help dry the sheets so detection would be avoided. That actually worked most of the time, if they had all the next day to dry. I had a terrible childhood because it was spent in trying to please two parents who were never satisfied with me. My adult life isn’t perfect, but I have never treated anyone like I was treated as a kid. I forgave my family, who have needed me much, much more than I needed them over the years, although I was tempted to ignore them until they all went away. But once again, if this lengthy reply saves one child or their parents from the hell I experienced, I am glad I came forward with this information. Good luck .

  41. I grew up wetting the bed from ages 6 to 12 when I finally stopped just like that. After medical world could find nothing wrong that was causing bedwetting an alarm system was tried but it did not really work for me. So Mom finally put me in cloth diapers and plastic pants. It was hard in the beginning because I always felt like a baby wearing them but as time went on I got used to them and felt they were better than wet bedclothes changes every night. The alarm system was tried a few more times over the years and would offer sometimes temporary relief but the wetting would start again. In the end I was so glad when I stopped wetting and the diapers and plastic pants became history but they did work and insure a good nights sleep.

  42. I was a puberty bedwetter,having started just before my 12th birthday and finially stopped just past 15! My parents had me wear cloth diapers and rubberpants[plastic pants] the whole time and i had to make adjustments to try and be as normal of a teenager as i could.

  43. Hey all, bedwetting is a serious disorder, but in some cases it seems to be incurable!
    Don`t worry about!! Im a 55 year old woman. Here´s my report:
    I grew up, got dry at night with 8, but startet wetting the bed again when I was 12. After medical world could find nothing wrong that was causing bedwetting an alarm system was tried but it did not really work for me. So Mom finally put me in cloth diapers and plastic pants. It was hard in the beginning because I always felt like a baby wearing them but as time went on I got used to them and felt they were better than wet bedclothes changes every night. The alarm system was tried a few more times over the years and would offer sometimes temporary relief but the wetting would start again. In the end I was so glad when I stopped wearing this stupid alarm system, as my sleep was pretty well disturbed by waking up 2-4 times a night. I was 15 when my school grades got from bad to worse, so after visiting our doc, my mom and I decided to stop all attempts to disturb my sleep in order to get me dry at night. My doc considered it was a good idea o wait until I outgrow the bedwetting . It was a very huge relief when the alrm was trashed!! The first night I went to bed to sleep wearing only ma pajamas with plastic pants and diapers underneath knowing, what happens may happen!!
    My grades got better and better, and I was refreshed again. But the need to be diapered persisted. Some time later I didn´t mind it! Unfortunately my bedwetting never ceased, but I had very understanding girlfriends, went to sleepovers and finally got a boyfriend. This is 40 years ago, I´m now in my fiftiest, was married, have 2 sons grown up, and live my life!!

  44. When i started puberty before 13,it hit me like a rock! I started bedwetting and mom got me cloth diapers and plastic pants[aka-rubberpants] to wear to bed every night.She explained to me that they were cheaper in the long run and wouldnt sit in the landfill for years like disposables would.My diapers were white and pinned on me with diaper pins and just about all of my rubberpants were adult size in pastel colors and babyprints.Every night before bedtime mom would powder me,pin the diapers on me,then put the rubberpants on over them. After a while into 13,some how i actually got to liking the diapers and rubberpants and feeling like a toddler while wearing them!The one sunday after mass,i snuck into the parish nursery and stole a pacifier and after i was in bed,i would take it out from my hiding place and suck on it!I felt even more like a baby when i had my babyprint rubberpants on over my diapers!After i turned 14,i was ready to finially make my First Holy Communion with the class of 7 year olds.I picked out a cute,poofy,top of the knees communion dress and veil and got lace socks and the white ‘mary jane’shoes.I told mom that i wanted to wear my diapers and rubberpants under the dress and she went for it.She put a pair of my white rubberpants over the diapers and naturally they crinkled under my dress all day and i really felt like a little girl!That following August i was the flowergirl in my nieces wedding and my flowergirl dress was knee length and quite poofy! I told mom to put the diapers and rubberpants on me so she did,and i walked down the aisle in my dress and veil with the rubberpants crinkling under the dress!After i turned 15,my bedwetting started to end,but i kept on wearing the diapers and rubberpants for 3 months untill it stopped completely!