From our Mailbox - An ex-Gentle Parenting Mama

I have recently discovered your books after realizing Gentle Parenting wasn't working. I have seen my home turn to a more joy-filled, playful environment since training my children with your methods.
Unfortunately, a dear friend firmly believes in gentle parenting resulting in unruly undisciplined children. My children no longer enjoy being with hers and ask to not visit with them. We share the same church group, so our lives remain entangled. How would you recommend addressing discipline with this once beloved family?

~from an ex-Gentle Parenting Mama

Reply to ex-Gentle Parenting Mama

This has become a “thing,” but trust that it too will pass. Parents who adhere to the new fad called “gentle parenting” quickly discover how fast their children can become first-class brats. I had a lady visit our office this week who said her church, which was flourishing, is now a madhouse. She said this past year several new families joined who are firmly fixed on gentle parenting and they all think one of the older members who has been a part of the church for many years is worse than a criminal for telling them to discipline their children.
The older lady (about 50) has ten grown children, all of which are good, hardworking, tax-paying citizens and faithful believers in Christ. Amazingly, none of her children identify as cats or rodents, and they all know what gender they are. Now THAT is a lady who knew what she was doing! Not to be boasting or anything like that, but the successful parent-lady read and applied our literature from day one; she practiced BIBLICAL child training rather than gentle parenting. You can’t beat what God said to do. HE is always correct, and he made how to parent very clear in his WORD. And the Word of God also teaches that the aged women should teach the younger women. I would think a successful aged woman would be listened to and revered.
As to your friend, ask her to just take the time to read To Train Up a Child and look up the Bible verses found in the book. Then the two of you can calmly talk about what the Bible says. Most people suddenly realize it is common sense and will quietly begin to use what they read. In time everyone comes to the realization that the flesh needs to be trained into self-disciple in every area of life. The lucky children’s parents come to that realization sooner rather than later.
So let her see how happy and self-controlled your children are. She will notice how kind they are to each other, how even the little ones avoid conflict using simple wisdom in dealing with other children, and how unselfish the teens are. There is a glaring difference in the end results that can’t be denied.