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When I Was a Child

June 15, 2010
Mother playfully turning her four year old son upside down for a moment

I grew up thinking that husbands and wives were always happy with each other—never had a fuss or a fight. Nor did it never occur to me that some parents might spank in anger or be abusive to their children. I had no idea that some fathers, uncles, brothers, and even pastors and deacons molested little children. I was thirteen and babysitting when for the first time I saw a young married couple fighting. I was astonished that two parents were raising their voices at each other. In a breathless panic I told my mom what I saw. She never skipped a beat, and just simply said, “A lot of husbands and wives fight.” Her lack of surprise only shocked me further.

How is it that I was shielded from those realities for so long? Could it be because both of my parents loved God and believed His Word? No one is perfect, and being married there are times you want to talk down to your husband and make him toe the line. You want to give him what he deserves, but what does God say you should do? My mother and father say it is what they learned from God’s word that made their marriage different.

My parents knew what I now know, that a child is a book waiting to be written. Every minute of every day is filled with writing on the blank pages of your child’s life story. Some people call it “making memories.” But memories are not formed just on special occasions. Every moment of a child’s life is part of who he will become. Those early years are when we develop our character and form our values.

My parents provided a haven for me growing up, but they didn’t shut me out from life. Quite the contrary, at an early age I learned to work for the things I wanted. I learned to help others in need. My parents gave me tools, ideas, and resources to build things. They praised my hard work and showed my creative projects off to everyone. They delighted in me, and I delighted in praise. I grew to love serving people. I worked hard with my hands and saw profit in it, making a little money. I was so busy learning and developing in life that I did not have time to waste on foolishness. If I did get the “bored face” they would give me a job like washing dishes. I found I liked staying busy and got very creative.

Years later, I am happily married and have an amazing four-year-old boy and another child on the way. Every day I am conscious of filling the blank pages of my son’s life. I know that every paragraph is precious, making a permanent mark in his life. One day he will take the pen and write without me helping him. I pray to God for the wisdom to raise my son in the way he should go, to make a man of truth that will stand for God and righteousness, that will defend the weak, give to the needy, and raise his children to be soldiers of God.

Parents, we are in a race against time with our little ones. Every minute counts. Like my parents before me, I know I am the author of my child’s future. I am not just making a happy little boy; I am making the future father of my grandchildren. May they rise up and call me blessed as I do my parents.


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13 comments on “When I Was a Child”

  1. I am really enjoying the Pearls of Wisdom clips. Our family lives in the city and as a mother, I am having a hard time finding ideas for boys aged 8-10 to do. I remember reading somewhere in one of your articles that it will be harder to find activities to do in the city for boys and that they will want more space. I totally agree, but we are not able to move to the country at this time. So do you have any activities that are fun and that would build up a boy for manhood ? Thankyou.

  2. I have to say that I disagree with a portion of this article. We are not the authors of our child's life nor are our children blank books. This is, in fact, humanistic teaching (blank slate theory) that defies scripture that teaches that the law of God is written on our hearts and that every man is born with a conscience and spirit that yearns after their Creator. Each child is born with a will and the ability to exercise it, and each child is born with a sin nature that very quickly begins to display itself.

    We, as parents, are teachers and guides with the responsibility to bend a child's will toward His Maker and to train their hearts to follow God's straight and narrow path.

    That said, yes, parents do make indelible marks on a child's life and they instill lessons that their child likely will adhere to despite peer pressure; making the early years most critical. Yet at the same time - adopting the "blank slate" theory leaves the blame at the parents door if a pre-adult/adult child chooses to wander for a time from the values his family holds dear because it then assumes that the parent "wrote wrongly" on his child's blank page.

    While I would likely agree that many of today's parents have grown lazy in adequately raising their children in the ways of the Lord, I have witnessed many a child who was thus raised and yet somewhere during their teen years made a strong commitment to the Lord and managed to maintain that commitment despite what their parents did not "write" on their lives. That's called the grace of God! 🙂 And it is He who writes on the pages of our heart; because before the dawn of time the pages of our lives were already filled by the hand of our Eternal Maker. Psalm 139!

  3. I think R Jukic is what you would call a fox in the woodshed. I think this person is meaning to look as though he or she likes some of the Pearl's materials but in actuality is here to challenge it.

    Accusation #1: The Pearl's are teaching blank slate theory.
    Definition: The mind has no innate traits.
    What R Jukic means:
    The Pearl's are teaching that through proper training you can raise a child that will grow to be something close to sinless without the direct work of the Holy Spirit in their lives.

    I can speak first hand that this is not what the Pearl

  4. Thank you for sharing with us your committment to doing all you can to bear good fruit with your children as it was modeled to you by your own parents. Our children do come here with a God-given destiny and also a sin nature that is determined to keep them from that destiny and it is our job as Godly parents to teach and train them according to who they are in Christ..Thank you for the reminder to not fall into "lazy" parenting skills..Thanks for the encouragement..May God continue to bless you and your family..:)

  5. Thank you for this particular video! My daughter is a servant type and I'm the dominating type. I've been needing instruction in this area of our lives and this video has been a little piece of the puzzle for us. Thank you. By the way, we are loving these videos!

  6. Thanks for finally gutting that fish!! I'm learning so much (about Scripture, not so much about fish). Thank you and God continue to bless your ministry.

  7. I understand and agree with most of Guy's words. But I must raise two important points. One we are not the accuser of our brothers (Rev.12:10) Satan is. We hold each other accountable (Gal 6:1), and we are called to maintain the standard of sound words that we have learned and know to be true(2Tim 1:13), but we are to do it in love and meekness. Second, and this pains me to say, but there was a time when I read No Greater Joy, typically the writing of Mike Pearl himself, and there was no need for the clarifications that Guy felt compelled to offer.
    When I first found NGJ, I weighed every word I read here against the Word of God and consistently found their teaching to be spot on. As I've read through the years I have always known where the Pearls stood biblically, and therefore I had a basis for trust already laid. However, If I had never read their older letters, and had not already grown in faith with this ministry, and was new to their teachings, I cannot say I would not have drawn conclusions similar to R Jukic (concerning the blank slate theory) from this article. That concerns me.
    Guy, you and I have an understanding of the words that the Pearls have been teaching for years. But what of the newcomers? It is important to consider how the newer article come across to newer readers. As I stated, Mike and Debi Pearl , in my opinion, have hardly ever needed clarification or defense; they say what the bible says unequivocally, and un-apologetically. If you have read for years, or if it is your first time hearing of the Pearls and NGJ, you know where they stand. It is important that we do maintain the standard of sound words that we have been and are being taught through the Holy Spirit in Christ Jesus our Lord.Ther e must contiue to be a biblical, contextual base to every word written here. The standard has been set, but it is possible to slowly slip off track if we are not mindful.
    I would simply admonish the writers at NGJ; prayerfully and carefully write your articles, be sure the word you teach are solely Divinely inspired. How well an article is written, and all the good personal advice in the world cannot take the place of strong biblical truths. Remember, teachers of God's holy Word incur a stricter judgment. (James 3:1)
    Thank you all for your years of help and encouragement. Thank you R Jukic for studying to show yourself approved o God (2Tim 2:15) and not taking every word you hear as Gospel truth regardless of the source. Thank you Guy for clarifying the intentions of Mrs. Easling, may they never need clarification again! 🙂

    With Love and Thanksgiving,

  8. I love your articles and Ilove the skirt you are wearing. Where can I get one? Also the skirt on this months calendar page looks good also. Hope this was not a too silly of a post. 🙂

  9. I also disagree with humans having a "sin nature" because Adam was made "very good" and could choose to sin. I don't think God would call a "sin nature" very good. I don't think Adam was changed to have a "sin nature" after he sinned because that is illogical. Free will is what we really have, as Adam & Eve were created with, and that is very good, otherwise love as God defines it would not be possible. Actually, love as God defines it is impossible without Him living in us and through us.

  10. So well written! We just need to look at the heart of the article and not labour over minute details like the first comment did. We need to always look at the the big picture in life. Thanks for this lovely article!

  11. Amy West, You said "...Adam was made “very good” and could choose to sin. I don’t think God would call a “sin nature” very good."
    God made humans with free will, He wanted them to have free will, and that's why He made them like that. Adam was 'very good' because God liked what He had made, He was glad Adam had the free will to choose God. People aren't machines, machines don't have free will. God wanted people to choose Him with their own free will. He already had angels, He could make more of those if He wanted to, but He wanted people to choose him.

    Adam sinned because he had the free will to do so. Adam was made 'very good' and could choose to sin. It's not the sin nature that God was calling good, it was the man with free will that He had created.