Shame on me, but I am typing this so others will not opt out of their blessing based upon stereotyping.
I have been married to my H.S. sweetheart for 13 years. Believe me, it has not been as sweet as it sounds. I come from a family of strong, independent black women. This was thought of as a blessing until I took a good look at why ALL the women in my predominantly-female family have been divorced. Yes, ALL OF THEM!
I was well on my way to being divorced myself. My husband and I had been separated for 3 years, 2 of which he had a live-in girlfriend, and 1 ½ years where all three of our daughters were sent to live with them! You read that mess correctly. I was 2 years into this situation before an older lady told me that I could pray that girl off of my husband. I did so half-heartedly. You see, I was busy becoming a modern woman. I joined corporate America in the hospitality industry, had a good position, and was making good money. To put it truthfully, I was miserable! Since I was in 4th grade, I wanted to be a homemaker, taking great care of my husband and children. I knew what it looked like but I did not know how to obtain it.
My husband and I reconciled and gave it another try. Now that I had been out in his world of backstabbing and water cooler talk, I came to understand his need for an understanding wife and peaceful home. Try as we might, we celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary in hopes of a new beginning. It wasn’t too long before we were both not feeling as hopeful for our situation.
To make a long story short, a friend of mine moved to Louisiana with her husband as he went to pastor a small church there. My friend, being a big northern city girl shocked the southern women with her openness. It wasn’t long before a wise lady that had befriended her gave her a book. Well, hurricane Katrina brought my friend and her family back to Chicago. The book came with her and it traveled to our national convention in 2006. My friend called 9 other ladies together one evening and shared Chapter 8 with this group of women that had just vented their dirty laundry in regard to being the Mrs. to our husbands in leadership in the church. (My husband was at this time a committed man of God and training to be a Deacon).
Well, needless to say, most of us went back and ‘ministered’ to our husbands. The convention came to a close and my husband and I began our 4-hour drive back to Chicago. I read him a Xerox copy of Chapter 8 and he could not have been more pleased if he had written the book himself. He was a Mr. Steady, no doubt, and I was the foolish wife of Mr. Steady. Once back to Chicago, my husband ordered the book for me.
My husband has always been a good provider, but now it is appreciated and respected. I left corporate America April 26, 2006. They begged me to stay, trying to give an absurd amount of money. My last response was this, “My interest is not in future investments; I’m leaving to invest in my future, the future of my family.” As of September 2007, we started home schooling two of our three daughters. The oldest is in H.S. and my husband feels that is best for her at this time. No problem! He is the head of this household. Mr. Steady is also allowing his Command Man take control more often and I love it!
Thank you for writing and publishing Created To Be His Help Meet. You have blessed our home and so many others. You have put into words the bottom line. I can honestly say in the beginning, I pushed my husband in the hands of other women. I did so with my foolish ways. I took so long writing to you only because I did not know how to edit my testimony. I will leave that up to you. You have my permission to print my full name because I’m so glad the Lord has laid His hands on me. Your book has blessed me, my husband, and the future husbands of our three daughters and so on. Thank you Pearls!