Three Types of Men
Prophet
(Excerpted from Debi Pearl’s book, Preparing To Be A Help Meet.)
God is a Prophet as seen in his person, the Holy Spirit. He made some men in the image of that part of his nature. As a man moves into his late twenties and early thirties his image will become much more pronounced. Some of you will marry men who will be shakers, changers, and dreamers. One word that describes them is Visionary. They see what can be or should be and seek to change things.
The Prophet or Visionary is “the voice crying in the wilderness,” striving to change the way things are done, or change how humanity is behaving or thinking. Prophet type men are street preachers, political activists, organizers and instigators of any front-line social issue. They love confrontation, and hate the status quo. “Why leave it the way it is when you can change it?” They are the men who keep the rest of the world from getting stagnant or dull.
They are consumed with a need to communicate with words, music, writing, art, or actions. The Prophet always has a “cause.” Good-hearted prophets can be a lot of fun. They are never Mr. Dull. They can love with a passion and be aggressively loyal to their friends and family. They can take the lead in calling the world to repentance and showing them a path of righteousness.
However, if they are not balanced, these Prophet/Visionary types may get fanatically focused on one or two weird issues and, in the process, upset the entire family. You will hear them going on and on about issues like whether or not we should celebrate Christmas. Should we accept a license from the state? Should a Christian opt out of the Social Security system? Why go to a doctor? No birth control! They may be extreme in their separation from “the world.” The issues they focus on may be serious and worthy of one’s commitment, but, in varying degrees, these men can have tunnel vision, tenaciously focusing on single issues. They can drive some women crazy.
The Prophet type will make a great boyfriend because he will focus totally on his sweetie. He will be very romantic, giving you flowers and gifts. If you catch the heart of a Prophet you will be his consuming passion, his greatest challenge, his dream come true. A few weeks after marriage, though, his focus will turn to other challenges. As his new bride you will feel abandon. It is important for all girls to understand this great truth regardless what type you marry: You need a life, a vibrant life before your man comes on the scene. A clingy useless wife that lacks drive, goals, ambitions, or dreams is just that—useless. Right now, do you have a life with purpose? If so, then when your new Prophet/Visionary husband suddenly becomes focused on some strange, new, driving project, your life will continue to go on smoothly and happily. Don’t be offended when he focuses on something other than you. It is his nature. He can do not otherwise. Of course, as a wife you will still need to be ready to “ooh and aah” when he comes back to share his new vision with you. When he does turn his attention back to you all the other wives will be jealous, for you will have the most romantic man around.
If you marry one of these wild-headed fellows, expect to be rich or poor, rarely middle class. He may invest everything in a chance and lose it all, or make a fortune. He will not do well working 8:00 to 5:00 in the same place for thirty years, and then retiring to live the good life. If he works a regular job, he may either not show up half the time or he will work like a maniac 80 hours a week and love every minute. He may purchase an alligator farm in Florida or a ski resort in Colorado, or he may buy an old house trailer for $150 with hopes of fixing it up and selling it for $10,000, only to find out that it is so deteriorated that it can’t be moved. He will then have his wife and all the kids help him tear the top off and carry the scraps to the dump, saving the appliances in the already crowded garage, so he can make a farm trailer out of the axles. Now that he has a farm trailer and no animals, expect him to get a deal on three old, sick cows, and…he may never be rich in money, but he will be rich in experience.
He will easily pick up and relocate without any idea of what he is going to do for a living at the new location. In his zeal for the truth, he may end up splitting the church. He may be fanatical in his demand for doctrinal purity and proper dress and conduct. Like a prophet, he will call people to task for their inconsistencies.
I am sure it was men of this caliber who conquered the Wild West. They would have been the mountain men and the explorers, going over the next mountain in search of knowledge and adventure. They would not be the farmers who settled in one spot.
The upside of the Prophet/Visionary is his creativity and tenaciousness in the face of difficulty.
The downside of the Prophet types is that if they are not wise, they can be real fools who push their agendas, forcing others to go their way.
Good intentions don’t always keep Prophet types from causing great harm. If they are not wise they can stir up pudding and end up with toxic waste. Often the difference between a productive Prophet and a destructive Prophet is a good, supportive, stable woman. An unwise wife with negative words can turn a Prophet into an antichrist, an inventor into a destroyer. Every…I say every Prophet needs a good, wise, prudent, stable wife who has a positive outlook on life.
Priest
(Excerpted from Debi Pearl’s book, Preparing To Be A Help Meet.)
Bible students recognize that in the Godhead Jesus is the Priest. His ministry on earth was mostly priestly, and in a lesser degree, prophet. But one day he will come back as prophet to judge, and then reign on earth as king, thus fulfilling all three roles and manifesting the complete image of God. Every man on earth manifests one of these three images in predominance over the other two.
You may marry a man that is priestly in nature. He will be the most steady and easygoing of the three types, not given to extremes. The steady nature of the Priest type is reflected in his tendency not to make snap decisions or spend his last dime on a new idea; nor does he try to tell other people what to do. He avoids controversy. He doesn’t invent the light bulb like the Prophet, but he will be the one to build the factory and manage the assembly line that produces the light bulb and the airplane. He would never lead a revolution against the government or the church. He will quietly ignore hypocrisy in others. As a general rule, he will be faithful till the day he dies in the same bed he has slept in for the last 40 or 50 years. This man is content with the wife of his youth.
If you marry one of these steady, Priest-natured men, your new husband will never put undue pressure on you to perform miracles. He will not expect you to be his servant like a King type would. You will not have to spend your days putting out emotional fires like you would if you married a Prophet type. You will rarely feel hurried, pushed, pressured, or forced. The women married to the Prophet look at you in wonder that your husband seems so balanced and stable. The wife of the Kingly Man marvels at the free time you will have. If your dad happened to be a Priestly, Steady Man, then chances are you will appreciate your husband’s down-to-earth, practical life for the wonderful treasure it is.
The down side to the Priestly-natured man is the irritation his very steadiness produces in an impatient, romantic woman needing a little reckless adventure to spice up her life.
This type of man is steady and cautious, and for a spoiled young girl it is hard to see his worth and readily honor him. He almost seems old when he is still young. He seems to just let people use him. His strength is being a people person. Everyone will like him, enjoy his easy manner, and feel comfortable around him; they will not feel judged or ignored by him. He will like helping others, having his home open to casual get-togethers and visiting around. A good wife will make herself conform to his gifts. She will use her time to make her home a pleasant place to gather. She will learn to cook for groups and become a gracious hostess. Her strength and ministry will be hospitality. This will bring him honor. All of this sounds simple, but for most couples it’s not.
The steady Priest man is not a shaker and mover. Even if he’s not content with the status quo, he is the last one to speak up. His even nature keeps him from the flamboyant emotional displays that you might see in the Prophet types. His lack of fervent religious expression will provoke his wife into judging him as unspiritual. Wives are blinded by the church’s standard of “the spiritual man” and become critical of their new husbands.
The steady Priest-natured man is content to take a long time in making critical decisions. He tends to be more cautious than the Prophet type. An impatient young wife often finds it difficult to quietly wait for him to make up his mind. In her agitation she leaks criticism, which tears at his confidence and makes him even more cautious and noncommittal. He just wants peace, to be left alone to do his daily routine and enjoy the company of people who are not all fired up, passionate, or critical.
King
(Excerpted from Debi Pearl’s book, Preparing To Be A Help Meet.)
God the Father is dominant–sovereign and in command. He is the King of Kings. He created a few men who are like him in this aspect; they are kingly men. In my book Created To Be His Help Meet I called them Command Men, because that is their most dominant feature. Though men in general are dominant compared to women, the King type is endued with an extra dose and, seemingly, a deficit in gentleness and patience. They are often chosen by other men to be military commanders, politicians, preachers, and heads of corporations.
Kingly Men see life as if they were on a high mountain; they look at the big picture, rather than individual, personal needs. Kingly Men show little tolerance for those around them who are dragging their feet, making excuses, or whining about their lot in life. They are men who want to move forward now—and they have a plan. As a rule, Kingly Men tend to end up in a place of authority over other people.
If you should marry a King, you must be prepared to give him honor and reverence on a daily basis if you want him to be a benevolent, honest, strong, and fulfilled man of God. Every king wants a queen. He will best fulfill his potential to become an effective leader when he has the confidence and admiration of the queen at his side.
These types are known for expecting their wives to wait on them hand and foot. A Kingly Man does not want his wife involved in any project that prevents her from serving him. If you are blessed to win the favor of a strong, forceful, bossy man, then it is very important for you to learn how to serve with joy.
Kingly Men are not as intimate or vulnerable as other men in sharing their personal feelings with their wives. They seem to be sufficient unto themselves. It can leave the sensitive woman feeling shut out. A woman married to a Kingly Man has to earn her place in his heart by proving that she will stand by her man, faithful, loyal, and obedient. When she has won his confidence, he will treasure her to the extreme.
Three Types of Women
Servant
(Excerpted from Debi Pearl’s book, Preparing To Be A Help Meet.)
My daughter who wrote the Teacher’s Guide for this book is a Servant, similar to the Priest type. From the time she was a small child, she “mothered” her little sister. She always enjoyed caring for the elderly. She was a wonderful young daughter, helping me do anything around the house. She is a peacemaker, kind, and considerate. Because she was known for being such a sweetheart, she had 27 different offers for marriage. My other girls had no such track record…not even close. Men are not intimidated by a female with a kind Servant’s heart. It is so feminine, very different from males. This type definitely has its perks.
It is important for a Servant not to become a pitiful little brown bird person. Maintain your individuality and develop your gifts. Always keep in mind that it is good to be an Encourager, but not good to be an Enabler. An Encourager helps people better themselves. An Enabler does things for people that they should be doing for themselves, healing their self-inflicted wounds and sympathizing with their poor vices to the point that they are enabled to continue their negative behavior without facing the consequences or assuming responsibility to change. This simple concept could be key in your life.
Girls that are of the Servant type tend to become Hidden Flowers if they don’t stay focused on serving the greatest number. Keep looking for a vision. Get a purpose in life that is bigger than you, homeschooling and even family. Prayer will be an important part of your ministry.
An example of a Priestly/Servant type man found in Scripture is, of course, Jesus. The Apostle John must have been a Priestly type also. A female example would be Ruth who faithfully served her mother-in-law.
Go-to Gal
(Excerpted from Debi Pearl’s book, Preparing To Be A Help Meet.)
My son’s wife, Zephyr, is a Go-to Gal, similar to the King type. That is not to say she is overtly bossy; she knows her place as a wife. But she is strong, capable, and gives a sense of taking care of the greater number of people. Go-to Gals ooze with confidence, have strong opinions, and do well organizing people. These types often have a queenly presence. Beware: Girls that are that dominant can easily become Grabbers.
An example of a Kingly man in Scripture is King Solomon. David was in fact a king but in personal nature he manifested himself as a Priestly type. A female example of an Go-to Gal is Deborah. Her story is found in Judges 4. She was a judge in Israel and such a strong personality that the armies would not go to battle without her being with them.
When I think of Queenly/Go-to Gal, two different ladies come to mind. One is a pastor’s wife. He is regal and so is she. When she walks into a room, she glides with her head held high. The King Male/Queen Female combination is often bad, but because she has purposed in her heart to serve and honor her husband, their marriage is powerful. She brings it strength and honor. Her resolve allows him to grow as a minister without having to take time to pamper her as his weaker vessel. Together they do well in raising a family in a challenging ministry. In the back of this book, her husband will tell an awesome story about his strong, capable wife.
The second Go-to lady that comes to mind is a dear older friend of mine who is married to a Prophet type. She has served him, understood him when all others shook their head in bewilderment, and been a help to him in all that he has undertaken, no matter how dead-end the project appeared to be. As he gets older his Prophet-like traits are dimming, but his love for her shines like a beacon for all the world to see.
Dreamer
(Excerpted from Debi Pearl’s book, Preparing To Be A Help Meet.)
I’m a Dreamer, similar to the Prophet type. A female’s type is not as predominant as a man’s. Remember, man was created in God’s image and we in man’s image, so we are one step removed from the original, which, thankfully, tempers our extremes. Are you a Dreamer? Do you like to create, sew, design, paint, or write? The little three-year-old girls that love to dress up like ballerinas or princesses are the Dreamers. If you are a Dreamer, then you need to keep your head out of the clouds while dancing your way into your vision of the future. Don’t get involved in projects that take you away from your responsibility to honor your husband. Spend your youth honing down your gifts and developing skills. Someday, if you honor your man, your gifts will greatly benefit your marriage. Girls that are Dreamers have a tendency to become Antsy Girls when things don’t seem to be happening as fast as we think they should.
An example of a Prophet in Scripture would be Elijah. Remember he is the man who called down fire from heaven. Most, though not all, Old Testament prophets are Prophets in nature. It is not as easy to identify the female version of the Prophet/Visionary/Dreamer, no doubt due in part to the fact that there are fewer women featured in the Bible. There are several obviously negative examples of the Prophet-natured woman. The most prominent is Delilah. Her story is found in Judges 16. She was the object of Samson’s tender feelings, as well as his uncontrolled lust. The story of Delilah is that of a wicked woman trying to discover the secret of Samson’s strength. When he repeatedly refused to reveal his secret, she put on her acting charm. She wept broken heartedly, blaming him for not trusting her with the secrets of his heart, and therefore not loving her. It worked. He was deceived into telling her that his secret lay in a covenant he had with God, the sign of which was his long hair. At the first opportunity she sheared his head, leaving him powerless. He paid with his eye sight and then his life. Sorry to all you Dreamers for the negative example. I can think of some really cool ladies who are Dreamers, which includes me, of course.
