Is it inappropriate to joke with guys? This is confusing because not only is this a big part of my personality, it is also one of those special things in my relationship with my dad. Some people say if you pick on someone they will not take you seriously. What do guys think about this?
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It’s my personality too. Some girls get really annoyed when boys tease them but I’ve always been one to go with it and tease them back. My younger sisters and one of my girl cousins were talking about flirting recently and where to draw the line between fun and flirtiness. My cousin (14) said that she felt flirty when she just jokingly through a ball back at a boy her age. I happened to see when she did that and remember thinking that it was a little out of her nature. She’s more reserved. So maybe it’s just the attitude the person has when they are teasing because I know if I had done the same thing I wouldn’t have given it a second thought. I’m just outgoing/go-to-gal. So there’s my two pence. Can’t wait to see more answers!
Good question! I am around the public allot, so total strangers! But it is my personality too to be joking etc. I try to remember how Shoshanna acts, she’s allot similar to my personality. She too would just be herself. I’ll tell you there was one time when I joked to some stranger and the guy wasn’t used to total strangers being that friendly, but I explained I just joke allot.
And God wants us to be ourselves and it was at our house too so I’m like I have no one to fear or be a coward for or be ‘reserved’ for and it wasn’t like I was offensive or rude. I have learned tact and I will not joke around someone in pain or mourning as the bible teaches us.
Like I remember a song that said ‘when I get to heaven I will love and have no fear’ I was like why not NOW?! God is for us so who can be against us? And treat all guys the same as you do every guy (except not as close as you treat your Dad or brothers… think about your cousin or someone who’s a guy and you love him as a brother but nothing more). And PRAY for as many guys as come to your mind, like if you have a crush he’ll always come to mind, PRAY for him and give him up to God, your mate is out of your hands anyway for now! 🙂
Hope that helps! I’d like to hear more answers!
There is definitely a fine line between friendly joking and flirting. I think most girls learn to tell the difference through experience and asking their brothers and dads. Just find the right balance, and ask others for their advice.
I tend to be pretty outgoing and will talk with about anyone. I do joke around with guys, but how much I joke depends on the guy. With guys who like to joke around and tease, I’ll be more like that, but with guys who are very serious and would take teasing as flirting, I try to be more serious so I don’t give the wrong impression. I agree with Faith that we should be tactful and know that there is a time and a place to have fun and a time and a place to be serious.
As far as people not taking you seriously, I think that’s only a problem if you’re ALWAYS joking around and can’t have a serious, meaningful conversation with anyone (and I doubt you’re like that!) I appreciate people who are lighthearted and like to joke around. But it bugs me when someone is constantly teasing and can’t seem to take anything seriously. They come across as shallow and not genuine. But I think joking/teasing is only a problem when it’s excessive.
I think there is a line. Just when your conscience starts saying that something is wrong and you feel like you are flirting or just trying to get that person’s attention then it is probably flirting.
Also you could ask your Dad if he thinks you are being too flirty if he was a teen age boy!! (Dad’s usually know)
Thank you to those who have responded, you have been most helpful! 🙂
Hello!
I am 18 years old and all my life I seemed to receive a lot of the teasing kind of attention from males – all ages (from my basketball coach to the kid who’s 5 years younger than myself, etc etc). I wouldn’t label any of it as inappropriate. But it has led to me being really confused at times. I would experience a guy’s teasing, and than watch him have a ‘deep’ conversation with another girl. I am the middle of 5 girls (no bros), and none of my sisters have ever received this kind of attention.
I’ve heard the whole ‘that means I’m comfortable around you’ ‘he likes you’ stuff,’ but it makes me feel so abnormal because only certain girls seem to get picked in this.
I will say I’m one of those ‘friendly, but not flirtatious’ girl. That’s something I’ve had to stop and think about in the past and I’ve been able to (by God’s grace) move on with a clear conscience. He gives me peace, and I look at my anxiety (usually after someone comes to me to say ‘you’re a bit flirtatious’) as a built in reminder to examine myself again. (Proverbs 30:20: This is the way of an adulteress: she eats and wipes her mouth and says, “I have done no wrong.” Psalm 139:23-24: Search me, O God, and know my heart! Try me and know my thoughts! See if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!)
Hope that encourages you! I’m with ya, sister!
I’m in the same boat as you. There is some guys at the Church I go to that we tease each other, but just in fun. We only do it because we’re good friends. Then there is some other guys that I’m more serious with. To me it just depends on the person and how they react to joking around. Sometimes I question myself and wonder if it looks like I’m flirting. If so, I go to one of my sisters and ask them what it looked like to her.
She has always assured me that it didn’t look like that at all. After I did that it has always me feel better.
So my advice would be to ask someone you trust. They know better than yourself.
It sounds like we’re a lot alike in our personalities.
Best wishes, and God bless!(:
I do not feel like I know enough to answer this, but I will say;
I think it depends on the jokes. I know there would be some lets say…”ways” of joking that would NOT be okay, while there are others that would probably fine. If you are able to ask your dad about this, I would encourage you to do so. Course jesting I would say would not be okay….you really have to be when course jesting with anyone. My mom has often told me that if I treat all young men like my brother ( obvious exceptions to that) then I will not have any trouble. I suppose that is assuming that you treat your brothers with respect and honor and love them. I hope this is of some help to you.
Press on!
Elise