I recently read Preparing & loved it. But right now I don’t know what to do. My life is given over to the ministry & the responsibilities laid on me are enormous. They take all my time & energy, leaving me no time to run my business. And right now, I’m basically living “project to project”. On top of that, the only unmarried men within 10 years of my age at church are related to me.
I was asked to redo menus, prepare shopping lists & head up the kitchen for a 17 day church camp in the mountains (for 50 people), with only a week & a half to prepare, a tiny kitchen, no needed equipment, & little help! I’m happy to do it, as they love my food & there’s really no one else to do it, but it’s been completely exhausting & the camp hasn’t even started yet. 5 hrs of sleep at night have been the norm.
Then, there’s the added stress of not being able to work for a month. The systems & procedures I’d hoped to implement in order for me to more easily take on business is further delayed. And, the web application I’d hoped to develop by the beginning of next year (which I believe will become industry standard for all Fairs, livestock shows, art shows & similar competitions) probably won’t happen unless I happen to get significant funding. Oh yeah, when I couldn’t get hired after college, I borrowed books from the library, learned web design, graphic design & internet marketing & started a business…
So here I am, 26, living with my parents, trying to make enough to pay rent while working crazy hours for the church (I’m not getting paid to do any of the things they ask me to do). And, while they continue to ask for more & more, I see husbands of the older women (who don’t have outside jobs) super protective over their time & energy. It’s really sweet & seeing that makes me wish that someday, someone would do the same for me.
It’s not like I haven’t gotten offers, especially in college & when working on ranches (I used to break horses & work as a wrangler) but they weren’t Godly. And so, in moments of weakness (& exhaustion), I get discouraged. While His grace is sufficient to get through the day, I find I’m just tired. Tired of trying to make a living (I’m lucky if 10% of the work I do is billable) & tired of taking on Herculean responsibilities alone.
Oh yeah, and the only young men running beside me in the ministry… they’re my cousins! And so, with no hope (in that area) in sight & no relief on the horizon, what’s a gal to do???