Sorry for the delay in starting chapter three. My family and I have been sick the past two weeks.
So far we have read chapter one and studied prayer and then we read chapter two and learned how being stubborn can sometimes be rebellion. Now let’s move on to chapter three. This is the first chapter of three that cover what type of men we may marry. It is fun to figure out what your Dad and brothers types may be and how you can learn to respond to them better. I have a friend that told me that her and her brother were always fighting then she read Created to be his Help Meet and learned what type he was. She decided to treat her brother with respect and listen to him and his ideas and dreams and soon they were good friends. We are going to be learning about a prophet type first and the way we should respond to them. This week let’s look up the word conversation in the dictionary and do a word search in the Bible, and find out what God has to say about “to much talk.”
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Being a good help meet starts long before marriage. It is a mindset, a learned habit, a way of life established as a young unmarried girl—or at least that’s the way it should be. Nearly every wife will confess that the first year or two of married life was—how shall I say it—a frustrating learning experience.
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Ice breaker: Be very honest. If you were married to a Prophet and one day he announced he was moving the whole family to Iraq to minister, how would you respond?
I would say, “What are you crazy! What are you thinking! When, why, Ok, if you really feel it is Gods will. I will pray about it with you.”
Shalom,
I am glad you and your family are doing better. It is rough having a sick family.
I have thought and still think exactly the way you described your response to your husband. Ha!Ha! The funnier thing about your question for me is it is a definite possibility for my family in the future. My husband is very much part prophet and has a dream to live in a foreign country someday!
Caralee
I would be scared but excited! I am a rather adventurous dreamer and would be thrilled to marry a missionary!
I would like to say that I would not be surprised (especially when I know he’s a Prophet), but knowing my tendency to overreact, I’d probably panic first and throw a fit, but then repent and do whatever he wants. I’m working on that (and God is), though!
Sorry to hear you were sick. I’m glad you all are feeling better!
That is just the thing that I have always wanted to do, so I would probably be really excited, but at the same time a little apprehensive about how everything woud turn out.
That’s a real tough one! I would want to obey right away but l think first l would through a fit and cry and then have some time alone with God about it, and then come back to him and apologize for my behaviour and say ”let God’s will be done”!
I would definitely ask the how, what, why, and when questions, followed by excitement and wonder over how God works in mysterious ways! Then I’d be very concerned about learning the appropriate language, but excited that my kids would be multi-lingual!
I would jump up and start packing! Its always been a dream of mine to go to Saudi Arabia and if I had already gone (or not) I’d eagerly join him in his pursuit and love every minute!
Don’t apologize for being a wife and taking care of your family! God be praised you’re better.
My mother said I’d be excited but scared and to think about I probably would be a little wary especially with children.
I do not know about you girls but I think we can all learn something from studying conversation in the word of God. I think as girls we all tend to sometimes talk when we should be quite, or as the Bible puts it have a {chaste conversation}. I remember back when my husband and I were courting and for the first time I had someone that would always be on my side. I had a fight with a good friend that I loved and still do to this day, but at that time I talked about how much she was hurting me to my {husband to be} and to this day, he still has a hard time liking her. I learned from that to always be careful to not talk about other people, for I know that he will always side with me and I am not always right.
Here are a few verses on having a chaste conversation.
Matthew 12:36-37 Good intentions do not always keep us from causing great harm. If we are not wise we can stir up pudding and end up with toxic waste. As wives we can with negative words bring great harm or we can speak with kindness and grace. If you marry or are married to a Prophet type then he will need you to be a good, wise, prudent, stable wife who has a positive outlook on life.
1 Timothy 4:12 You can start right now learning to have your conversation be couples with Fear. Then if one day you marry a Prophet type, you will have a chaste conversation, and will not stir your man up to anger against you or others. Learn to be his calming waters.
Proverbs 9:10 I also want to remind you that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom. So if you want to be wise in your conversation you must have the fear of the Lord.
Ephesians 2:3, 4:22-32 This is a reminder not to let our conversation be ruled by the lust of the flesh.
Philippians 1:27, 3:20; 1 Peter 1:15 Our conversation should lead others to God.
Hebrews 13:5 Be happy with what you have.
James 3:13-18 This is a great passage. Let you conversation be filled with wisdom.
1 Peter 3:1-7 and 16 This is a great passage as well. I was reading this a few days ago and verse 7 stood out to me the most. I know we already went over Prayer but I just want to share what I was learning. After reading this verse again I went back to my Moms Book CTBAHM and read Chapter 24 again on Being Heirs together in the grace of life, that your prayers be not hindered. If you have a Created to be a Help Meet book read that chapter again. It just reminded me again how important it is to be one with your husband, not just for your happiness, but that your prayers will get through to God.
Have any of you studied conversation? What have you learned?
Excellent Post!
I concur! Ladies heed this wisdom. It is very true!
Caralee
The idea of marrying a prophet is something I’ve always struggled with, as my experiences with them has been…um…interesting. 😀
But, I would have to say that I’d be all out excited…Yes, I’m sure that the ‘how, when, why,’ would come up, but I’d be all for it…lots of prayer too…
I’m glad your family is doing better Shalom! Our family has been a little bit under the weather too… Thank God for herbs!! 😀
The verse that has really spoken to me about the importance of conversation is Matt. 15:11,18. “Not that which goeth into the mouth defileth a man; but that which cometh out of the mouth, this defileth a man… those things which proceed out of the mouth come forth from the heart…” When I realize that everything I think and say is a reflection of what is in my heart, I am sobered. It is so very important to have a pure heart, for those that have a pure heart “shall see God” (Matt. 5:8).
Very true! I too am humbled by this Scripture especially in light of how God is recently showing me the importance of being kind, gentle, tender-hearted, and so on with my family.
Caralee
My dad is 100% prophet, so this chapter brings a smile to my face! 🙂 Learning about the three types of men first from CTBAHM and now from Preparing has really been interesting and helpful in how I view all the men in my life, particularly my dad. When my mom first read the section on Mr. Visionary to him from Created, he cried and said, “That’s exactly how I feel.” What the book says about being careful what you say is SO true when it comes to my dad. I’m the same personality as he is, so I’m often tempted to join in the conversation when he is really upset at someone and say how wrong the person is. It makes it twenty times worse. Speaking calming, positive words about others to my dad is super important, and something I still need to work on!
Also, in my study, I found that conversation also seems to have a lot to do with your total behavior, not just your words. Like, in Galatians 1:13 Paul says, “For ye have heard of my conversation in time past in the Jews’ religion, how that beyond measure I persecuted the church of God, and wasted it.” It doesn’t seem that Paul could only persecute the church of God with his words, but also with his actions. Also, 1 Timothy 4:12 says that Timothy should be an example “in word, in conversation,” which seems to show that these two are not exactly the same thing. I think Shalom points this out in the study guide on page 240 when she says that 1 Peter 3:1-2 is an example of conversation without words. Philippians 3:20 is perhaps the most interesting verse on conversation I’ve found: “For our conversation is in heaven; from whence also we look for the Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ.” I’m still thinking about all the implications of that one!
This subject is one that I am working hard on with myself. I always tend to complain, and I know God wants me to have a cheerful countenance– especially if I marry a Prophet. I’ve learned that conversation says a lot about what I’m thinking and dwelling on. On the other hand, if I don’t think before I speak, I can do a lot of harm. I have to choose my words carefully and line them up with what God considers edifying, encouraging, and uplifting.
This is especially important at home! With my family, I tend to be more lax with what I say and how I say it. This is the total opposite of what God wants. He says that the wife, by her chaste conversation, can win her husband. How can she when she lets complaining and unedifying words rule the day at home?
It is not easy, and I am continually praying for wisdom in this area. I’ve found that if I slow down, and think of what it is I am saying (or about to say), and pray for wisdom, God is showing me how to have “holy conversation” (1 Peter 1:15, 2 Peter 3:11).
Okay, so you know how a person tends to share their fears, hurts, etc. with their significant other? To me, this is super important — to have honesty and communication. My boyfriend is a Mr. Visionary. Should I not be sharing this sort of stuff with him, b/c he’s a Mr. Visionary? I’m usually up beat and happy, but I’ll let him know when junk has happened that day, or something. And most times, he’ll ask how my day was. Thoughts????!!!! All this is so new….never thought I’d be with a Mr. Visionary! Ha. 🙂
Rebecca- My husband is mostly visionary, and we share EVERYTHING with each other. Just because some visionaries are as the other women described, does not make them all that way. However, some things should just not be said, because it would be wrong…things like slander and gossip. Every once in a while, one of us tells the other that we shouldn’t be discussing something, so we stop. Mostly, I do a LOT of listening. 🙂 We’ve been remodeling and building throughout our whole marriage, and every decision must be discussed at length. Right now we’re on septic vs. lagoon.
Anyway, you mostly need to study your man, and learn how you should specifically relate to HIM. Has he ever taken your hurt or fear as his own, and made a big deal out of it? Is he is like other visionaries in that way, or different? Whatever he is, I’m sure he’ll appreciate a joyful woman like yourself!
@ Rebecca H — Yeah, he’s different it seems, than the normal visionary. I actually gave him the CTBHH excerpt dealing with the 3 types of men, to read. He pinpointed himself as a visionary. Probably, mostly b/c he has all the weird (although, not weird to me) beliefs, like no fluoride, home birth, you know, the alternative views of politics, church, etc., etc.
He seems balanced though, in that he doesn’t rant about his beliefs. They’re there, but he doesn’t make huge issues about them, other than living in accordance to them.
He actually seems to be the listener out of the two of us. He’s more of an introvert that values his privacy. However, I’m noticing, that now when he has a frustrating event happen with work, he’ll rant about it to me! I’m not prepared for this, honestly. I’ve never considered myself to be a good listener. But I’m really trying. I hope I’m not going against “my nature” by dating (and hoping for marriage!) with a Visionary, but God knows best! and I’m still seeking His will, as is my bf. (And, I’m crazy about the guy!)