Question

Posted June 24, 2013

I have a question for you out there!!!

I have a friend who is an older sweet Christian girl/woman.  She longs to get married and have a family.   Recently she told us that there is a guy she is interested in.

When she told me who it was I was shocked.

He is an odd fellow who our family has felt for sometime is a pervert. He loves taking pictures of children with his high zoom camera and playing with children. There are other things about him that are very creepy as well. Not at all a manly man!!! As well he has moved around a lot.

I think it’s great when guys love kids and all but there definetly seems to be something not right here.

What can we do??

I am not very close with the girl and so am uncertain what to do other than pray! We are very worried that she will end up in a big mess with this fellow.

Please answer this question as soon as possible because it’s such an important issue.

 

 

Answers

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  1. Elizabeth (Staff)

    I gave your question to Debi and this was her response, see below.

    This seems to be a new problem among homeschooling families as this is the second letter with this theme in just a few days. When older guys show a great interest in the young children somebody needs to be alert. It is likely they will use the front of possibly liking the oldest daughter if a pervert is hunting in a homeschool group. I think there are some older guys that are from large families so they might be missing their young siblings and just like the hang out with big families. I also know that homeschoolers are generally naïve and think that everyone is like they are…normal and not out for evil.

    Where there are lots of young children there will be perverts trying to find an in-road making himself a good friend for his evil designs. When an older unmarried girl sees time flying by her, she has a tendency to hope for the best in any possibility. It can make her blind to the evil designs of a pervert really seeking out her younger siblings rather than her.

    I always speak up for the children’s sake even if it makes things uncomfortable. Better safe than sorry. Also, you can get the books, “Samuel Yells and Sara Sue Yells and Tells for the kids. There is NEVER a time to say nothing if you think there is any possibility of children falling victim. Debi Pearl

    # June 24, 2013

  2. kitkat

    God gives us gut feelings for a reason. If you feel like something not right is up with this guy, you must say something. Like Debi said, you cannot say nothing if children (or your friend) are at risk. Yes, you may cause a big ruckus among the conservative community. You may lose friends. You may divide the church. You may be viewed as the “bad guy.” THAT DOESN’T MATTER. What does matter is that you act upon the wisdom and good sense you’ve been given. Trust your God-given instincts.

    # June 24, 2013

  3. faithgrubb9a2faithgirl

    LizzieTeacher,

    We’ve gone through several events where its real tough to speak and you wonder if you should. First we ask God what he really wants us to do and its usually to SAY SOMETHING! Two times we did, we were considered the ‘bad guy’, the weirdos that were homeschooled/way conservative and critical. But looking back we’ve heard/seen how in both instances other deeper sins/issues surfaced and brought to God’s light for examination! Children were saved and woman’s hearts were too. I will say one situation my sister was being preyed on by some kind of pervert in India and it was obvious he also liked all the orphans 🙁 My sis was wise enough to let the other ‘in charge’ folks know and she was told she was a bad girl! (She wrote a book about it by the way, http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/12284482-send-me-lord-jesus ).

    Anyway SAY SOMETHING! And first approach your girlfriend, no matter how distant (that might help, actually). Confront her let her know what you’ve seen, certain things, instances and tell her you just want to save her from maybe a lot of heartache! You care about her. Its not to say ‘i told you so later’ let her know her best interest is in mind. And invite her to meet other good guys, have a volley ball/card game night, give her hope, as far as the guy situation! 🙂

    Hope she’ll make the right decision!

    # July 5, 2013

  4. betty

    My sisters 14 year old daughter started dating a boy, I looked him up on face book and saw he was not a Christian and was boasting of doing acid and drugs, he had lots of likes about having sex. I tried to talk to my sister about it, and she wouldn’t listen. So I talked to my Father, my sister was mortified and hasn’t spoken to me for over a year now. Not even at my Nanas funeral, she thinks I am a trouble maker and a gossip. I still don’t regret saying something, I could have never lived with myself if something happened to her and I had said nothing. But there was a huge price to pay which is sad. I would do the same for any one I cared about, you at least need to say something and then support their decision and be there to pick up the pieces after.

    # December 22, 2013