I am not even sure how to put this out there but I feel I have NO ONE to talk to so here goes. I have the same convictions as your ministry talks about….I believe Gods Word! I however feel like I am not very pleasing to my husband unless I drink with him, eat unhealthy food, earn an income, leave the kids and hangout with him.
I started working from home about a year ago and am a Beachbody Coach. I know, sounds horrible, but I do 100% online leading ladies in fitness/weightloss challenges. I have made it possible to make ends meet financially…..but he hates when he sees me on the computer…..but I have to be if I want to earn an income. I have told him I can quit but we need to get rid of some expenses, he won’t budge on moving or getting rid of cable etc.
He tells me I am boring when I don’t drink, I am weird to want organic eggs, is “ok” about me homeschooling the kids but when it comes down to it he compares our homeschooling to the public system. I care about modesty but he wants me to wear a bikini!!
I could go on and on, but I won’t. We have been together for 20 years, have four children, he loves me but would be happiest if I made money (not on the computer), hung out with him and drank, watched movies and snuggled on the couch eating corndogs. Its almost like none of my convictions matter. God has obviously put this desire in me to please my husband…..and I want to 100%. I just don’t know how to and I am VERY VERY frustrated!!!!!
Any help or advice? I pray I got a little of my point across. My heart aches to be his best friend and lover, I just feel like I am failing miserably 🙁