Posted March 26, 2013

How do I submit to a husband who is on probation and is not allowed to leave the state without permission by law for a few years?

I mean…..if I act as “pretty lady” and kind talking to him he gives me gifts (from gambling to regular employment) and is kind towards wife.  Husband slipped and ended up embezzling thus putting him on probation.   I do not support his selfish-act of gambling nor his embezzlement in this situation.


On the other hand if I act as a supporter of the law of the land and God’s law about the dangers of gambling, husband returns home to his “woman-at-the-well” mother (has had multiple boyfriends,fatherless situations,  husband etc), thus leaving me and children partially emotionally neglected, while husband builds a depression and anger at the laws of the land and possibly even towards me his wife?


I appreciate Debi Pearl’s book created to be his helpmeet as this has explained what it means to please husband in ALL areas of his life…….I know Debi never had to face this issue with a husband in legal problems for doing something against laws of land AND against God’s laws.


I’m kind of at a dead-end so to speak as to how to face this situation.


Note to the unmarried woman: Please please please check out the family situation your future husband came from.  BEWARE of these things before letting any man even touch you!!!  Was he a foster unadopted child?  Chances are at about 70% that he will end up in prison.  Was he a spoiled and unspanked child?  Beware about his possible support of homosexuality and pornography.  Was he a child of a “woman-at-the-well” in a fatherless home?  Beware of the possible prison sentences and lack of financial resources to keep the marriage alive in a legal and moral sense.


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  1. swifttohear

    Hi, Raggedy
    Somebody brilliant said something about the unlikelihood of a man under his wife’s condemnation to become a better man. The direct quote is in “Created” somewhere (forgive me; I just looked for it, but I couldn’t find the page number… help, anyone?)

    It’s a painful road to walk, watching your hubby engage in self-destructive behavior, but your job, as difficult as it may be, is to remain faithful, joyful, and unwavering in your dedication to him as his help meet. God leaves the stubborn and unrepentant over to the natural consequences of their sins (Prov. 1:19,31, Gal. 6:7), which is a lesson He gives them to bring them to Himself. If you interfere, either with condemnation, instruction, disdain, or ill-humor, you are interfering with the work of the Holy Spirit, and you err.

    Your best bet (sorry, no pun intended!) would be to practice grace, meekness, gentleness, and a quiet and peaceful spirit that are of great price in the sight of God. Pray for your husband in good will and love. These efforts will accomplish much, rendering to your husband the service that his soul is in dire need of.

    “Be strong in the Lord and in the power of his might” (Eph. 6:10)

    # April 16, 2013