Question

Posted January 9, 2013

There is this guy that I really like. He is 18 and will be graduating this spring. I am 16 and I won’t be graduating for another two years. He is very godly and is so determined in his walk with God. I just love that about him. I know he really likes me also, and he is looking forward to courting me when we are both mature and ready. I just can’t help but worry about the future, about which girls he he going to meet at the Christian college he will be going to, and about if he will indeed wait for me. We both know we are young and that things could very well change for either of us, but it is sooooo hard to trust God! We seem to be made for each other. Everyone who knows both of us just guessed that we liked each other because our personalities are so compatible, and we both are gifted in music and plan to go to college for the same thing (music performance) and I can’t help but think we will end up dating, but I also get sooo worried we won’t! It is really hard to explain I guess, but he is just distracting me so much from God, and the stress about the next two years weighs on me all of the time. Any advice???

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  1. kingsdaughter7

    Hello, Melody. Well the first thing I’d say to that is to let go of him. I mean, force thoughts about him out of your mind. God longs to have a strong relationship with us, that’s why he created people. (Sorry, I forgot which verse it is, but I believe it’s in Genesis) If our minds are so focused on earthly things which in this case, would be this 18 year old guy, than our goal in life will slowly turn to that. As Christians our absolute number 1 goal is to serve God with all our heart and mind. Finding a spouse is important but if it steers our thoughts and hearts toward a different direction than God, than that has become our goal. You shouldn’t be worried at all about who you’ll marry… everything’s in God’s timing. Worrying can quickly turn you into a grabber.

    I know how you feel. I’m sure this guy is a strong Christian and a great leader, but for now (since your only 16) I would suggest to put him out of the picture and serve the Lord. Of course you can still talk to him and have fellowship though. And remember to GET RID OF THOSE THOUGHTS!!!! Including ALL dreaming and fantasizing. I heard a really great quote one time from a great pastor. “You aren’t what you think, but what you think, you are.” Let’s just say you are always thinking about food… the outcome of always thinking of food is eating (or becoming a chef, 😉 ) The outcome of always dreaming/fantasizing about guys is putting whatever your thinking into real life. Also, the more you think of them, the more disappointed and heartbroken you’d be if it wasn’t the Lord’s will that you two be together. Anything can happen before you turn an eligible age for marriage.

    In conclusion, get your Bible out more often and search for God. Trust in Him!! He’s MUCH more satisfying than any guy will be. Speak to Him, and give Him time to speak to you. Volunteer, give out gospel literature, and share the Gospel!! Make God the FIRST priority in your life and all the little things will come together. And when the time comes (Lord willing) that you are ready for marriage, God will make it happen. Best of luck! God bless you 🙂

    # August 22, 2013