Posted July 2, 2012
I know this sounds really odd, but I seriously don’t know if I’m a virgin or not. I was abused when very little (before puberty), so I’m inclined to think not. But I’m not sure. And how do I tell the person that I may marry?
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I’m not sure what to say about your status but I have a thought on your potential husbands to be. They will most likely say that you were just a child and did not have control over the situation. However, there may be one or two that are concerned about the long term effects that it may have on you. If your are saved then you have probably put all that behind you and started a new life, but there may still be one or two that question that. Don’t take this the wrong way, just a heads up. They probably won’t be the one anyway.
You did not do any wrong when you were abused. If you have not willingly given your body to another, you are a virgin. Your body may have been violated, and there may be psychical evidence of this, but God and people would know that you have kept yourself pure by not entering into sexual relationships willingly. Rape and molestation are so tragic because they take something so wonderful as sex between two married adults (man and woman) and turn it into an evil power abuse. Sex between a married man and woman is a beautiful action of love, giving and taking, cherishing each other, fulfilling God’s plan for us to be one with the person we promised to hold dear. Try to live your life to the fullest, not letting this awful evil that was done to you wear you down. You can be an awesome servant of God, despite how an evil man has treated you. Just be frank with your husband, I do not know of any man who would not take a woman because she was victimized as a child. Remember to show your future husband a wonderful time in the bedroom, he is not the man who hurt you.
I just read a responce by christy that sounds identicle to your responce. Maybe she could help you.
You are a virgin!
Hold your head high with the fact that you have your purity to give to your husband. Guard it and don’t let Satan tempt you into beleiveing you are already “damaged goods” what does it matter? THAT is a LIE! Beth and Ariel are right.
Someone harmed you, but Christ has cleansed your conscience from guilt Heb 9:14 and you are pure! You are innocent and pure. I would introduce you to my brother even if I knew about your past. You sound sweet and kind. I’ll pray for you Rebecca.