Posted January 9, 2013

Hello everybody,

I am writing because i want to understand what is Gods will on an issue i have in my marriage. I am a born again lady married to a not born again man. I was in another relationship before and we separated but left with a daughter, like wise my hubby was in a relationship and left with a son who lives with his mum. Well we married and have been together for 6yrs now. I must say it has been well though i was diagnosed with cancer three years ago, have had chemo , radio and name it all sort of chemo side effects have had them. All this has not made my faith in God fade. It has been well. My relationship with my hubby is good and having read created to be his help meet i must say it has become wonderful.He is a wonderful man.

However my hubby suffered while he was a child ( his father left them and he didn’t experience fatherly love) So he feels like life has not been fair because when he thought he would give his whole love to the son, that’s when he divorced and even though he gives love to the daughter we have he still feels like he needs to have a child who he can bring up with all this love he has. In my condition its a bit sensitive because according to the doctor my fertility has been compromised and he also thinks its not good for it would be very risky for me to try and get a child again. My hubby has insisted that he wants a child and he has hinted several times that we should look for a surrogate mother to carry his eggs so that he can have a child .( Only when he is drunk) I strongly feel God is telling me NO but i dont know how to approach him and face him on this. I know God wants us to obey our husbands except where they go aganist his will. I know God is the giver of life and he has a reason for my life as it is. I would like to hear from my fellow sisters. God bless.



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  1. younglove

    Hi Sherry 🙂
    I can really relate to you in so many ways. My husband and I were not saved when we got married and 2 years into our marriage I got saved and he still is not… We have been married 7 years now and despite our best efforts to get pregnant we have not been able to. I was incredibly bitter with God about this for a while… last year I became aware that God has closed my womb because of his goodness towards me and my unborn child, and at that revelation I became incredibly thankful…

    I want to encourage you to pray EVERYDAY for your unsaved husband. Praying for my husband has changed my perception of him which in return has changed my marriage. You don’t have to have a saved husband to have a heavenly marriage, in fact God has greatly blessed my marriage even though my husband is not saved.

    I want to warn you, DO NOT tell your husband that the reason you do not want to have a baby is because God told you NO, your husband will grow bitter towards your God. Instead, pray and ask God to tell your husband NO himself, and to change his mind on the matter.

    Like you, I have been in many situations where my husband wanted me or he himself to do something I did not want to do, something that could result in serious and lifelong heartache (not sin). I have found the only way to handle these situations is to instantly ask God to intervene, EVERY SINGLE TIME God has intervened and protected me, again EVERY SINGLE TIME. When I have decided to handle it myself by trying to convince my husband of my position on the matter most of the time he would strengthen his resolve and an argument would follow….

    This may sound very strange but in many ways I am extremely thankful I got saved first, since my husband is not saved I have had to be “hand in hand” with God to remain safe. I have had to cling desperately to Gods promises, and because of this I have been able to witness Gods ability to protect his children from evil… When you give up trying to protect yourself and cry out to God in times of trouble he will absolutely amaze you. This “trial” that has resulted from being married to an unsaved man can be a really good opportunity for you to obey God despite opposition, you can be an overcomer and endure this, and when you are in heaven you will receive a crown of life.

    P.S. ignore everything your husband says when he is drunk, do not regard it at all. My mom used to tell us when we were little “don’t let the joy robber rob your joy”… this is my advice to you….for this marriage journey you need all the joy you can get 🙂

    # April 11, 2013