Posted April 18, 2013

I am not quite sure how to pose this question. I guess I will give a little bit of “background” first. I am 18 and living at home. I have graduated and am an only child. I have worked for a short time when I was 16/17 at a seasonal job. Once I completed that, I kept busy and didn’t really even think about finding work again, although I supposed it was something I would need to do again eventually. My dad had given me a deadline, however, that I was to try my best to find work by the end of 2012. This was because he wants me to pay for my own cellphone and internet. I did up resumes and filled out several applications without hearing a word. Since I was trying to find work, but hadn’t got anything, he extended my deadline to July.

July is not far away now and I have had a busy schedule, going to the local collage and studying for and taking my GED, as well as helping out families at church with caring for their little ones. I have a trip coming up in May and a close friend coming for an extended visit in the coming week. I have continued to apply for jobs that would be suitable to my skills and desires to have a good atmosphere to work in. No luck. Furthermore, my mom has relayed to me that my dad has firmly stated that he will not extend my deadline again, regardless of whether or not I have a job. I am in such a state of uncertainty. It is not that I am lazy or not wanting to take responsibility, but the more I think and pray about what to do if a job does not open up, the more I feel that God is telling me my place is at home. That I need to continue cultivating my homemaking skills and serving others in my church community as I have been. I could not do those things to the extent I normally would if I was working. On the other hand, I seriously doubt I could go without my phone and internet. I am certainly not addicted, but as I have no friends anywhere nearby, my phone and internet are my main way of staying in touch, as well as doing research etc… My heart is so torn. Do I honor my dad’s wishes and try even harder to find a job? Or do I heed what I feel God is telling me ( to essentially be a “mini-homemaker” ) and plead my case to my dad and ask him to continue paying for something he doesn’t want to pay for? And how should I go about either choice? My dad is a king type that can be very strong-willed, but he can also be understanding. It is sometimes hard for me to talk to him about things because I can also be strong-willed. This is one topic I’d rather not get into an argument about, yet one that needs a quick resolution. Since I believe God has shown me His will for now, I think it will not be too difficult for me to bring it up in a diplomatic and gentle way, but I do need it to fall on a tender heart. Please pray for me! I would sincerely appreciate some input to my situation. Thanks and God Bless.


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  1. kingsdaughter7

    Hi Omi! I would have been struggling with the same thing as you, I used to be bitter against my dad and if he told me to do something, then I would complain or ask him why, etc. etc. When I became a Christian then it was a total different story. I had then learned to obey my dad. Just a while ago I had listened to a message about us girls obeying our parents (mostly about dads). In it, the speaker had said that however our relationship with our dad is, that is pretty much how our relationship with our future husband will be.

    So… I would totally recommend you obeying your dad. It wouldn’t be going against God because the Bible says to obey your parents. I’m assuming your father is a Christian. If he had asked you to do something totally different, that would be a different story, but seeing how it isn’t, I would take a break from the things I would be doing and go and look for a job. I’m sure your dad will notice the difference in how you aim to please him by looking for a job and treasure you greatly!! I don’t have a kingly father but I know how that is!

    Also, if you want to put into practice how you will treat your husband, then I would start obeying my parents in absolutely EVERYTHING!!! I know how hard that sounds, but once you start to do that, you feel much more loved and appreciated. I know for even me, sometimes when my mom or dad ask me to do something I have complaining thoughts because maybe I had wanted to occupy myself with something else, but in the end, you will feel better about it. And so will your parents!

    AND… if after looking long and hard for a job (by long and hard I mean with everything you got) and STILL can’t get one, then I would have a talk with my dad at the time of the deadline. Be honest with him, I’m sure he will have noticed how hard you looked. Tell him that you are sorry you couldn’t get a job and be willing to have a punishment, (I don’t know if your parents would do that, but they would for me) and if there’s no punishment, I would give up my internet and phone because it was your duty to find a job and you couldn’t find one. I would continue looking then and if something comes up, great! You then get your internet and phone back, and if not, keep praying girl!! 😉 God will give you the desires of your heart.

    I’ll be praying that God will give you the wisdom and the answer you so deserve!! 🙂 God bless.

    # April 22, 2013

  2. omi18 - the author of this post.


    Thank you so much for your input! I, too, have struggled in the past with contradicting and complaining, but as you have stated, becoming sold out to the Lord changes that a lot! I do realize and totally agree that respect, obedience and honor play a big role in my relationship with my parents as well as how I interact with a future spouse and family. These things I strive to do even when I may protest inside for a time because I want to please them and the Lord. Perhaps my biggest struggle now is being open and honest with them about things I am thinking about and dealing with. With this in mind, as well as your advice and what the Lord seems to be saying during my prayer time, I believe that talking it out with him may be my best choice. Telling him that I do want to obey him and please him by looking for work, but also being honest with how I feel the Lord is speaking. I then will abide by his final decision. I highly doubt that my parents would punish me for trying my best to find work and failing though. Thank you for your prayers!

    # April 25, 2013

    • kingsdaughter7

      No problem Omi 🙂 I’m glad that you found your answer through prayer. I’ll pray that God will guide you to say what you need to say to your parents 🙂

      # May 1, 2013