Posted September 10, 2012

I’m 16 years old, and I have known “Fred” (fake name, BTW) for two years. I feel confident in saying that I will marry him someday. My parents and sister adore him, and I think he’s beyond-incredible. We’ve talked about beginning a relationship in a few years, and we’re very clear on boundaries and and keeping our current friendship innocent and distanced for a while yet. We both have amazing relationships with God, and, thanks to the constant teaching from our parents, a healthy, realistic belief for marriage. Nevertheless, we both struggle with temptation (I can’t help it, he’s so CUTE) and frequently reevaluate our friendship to make sure we’re still keeping focused.
But, my real question is, what do I do now? I want to support him as much as I can, but I don’t want to cross any emotional boundaries. This is an important time for him, since he’s still growing up and maturing, and he knows that I’m there for him. He’s working multiple jobs, some with my father, he’s finishing up school and thinking about college, and he’s looking for a place to build/buy a home. I’m working on a commercial fishing boat, working diligently on my last year of school, teaching piano lessons, learning and using homemaking skills, taking music lessons and performing constantly, leading the worship in our church, and preparing myself to become a midwife’s apprentice. I also spend a huge amount of time exercising, gardening, and learning about natural healing (herbs and essential oils, mostly). I want to be a strong, confident wife and I want to be able to give him my life’s savings when we get married. We spend two to three days a week together because our families have a homeschool co-op, and our families are very, very close. How do I encourage and support him now, as a friend/someday wife?


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  1. 1butterflykisses

    Olivia, how can you feel confident in saying that you are going to marry this man when you do not know what God has in store for your future?(Prov. 21:1, “Do not boast about tomorrow, for you do not know what a day may bring forth.”) Have you prayed about it? You can encourage him by being a freind. The way that you are talking about him makes it seem that you two are in a relationship. Just because you both talk about beginning a relationship dosen’t mean it is going to happen. Especially with him being older than you, and when both of you will be meeting new people. I highly suggest that you stop thinking about this man in that kind of way, because you most likely will get your feelings hurt if he starts a relationship with someone else. My answer to “What do I do now?” would be to just enjoy being a teenager, and a single young women before you are older and get more responsibilities and maybe someday become a married women. Trust me, I have looked back on the past few years and have been amazed at how fast they went and wished I had done a few things differently! 🙂 God bless.

    # December 28, 2012